


Cruel World

by TheGhostWriter91



Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Crimes & Criminals, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 67,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8025316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGhostWriter91/pseuds/TheGhostWriter91
Summary: Working under a kingpin in a nightclub was never my kind of "ideal life". The pay was crap but I was well taken care of. Plus, it kept me safe from the criminals who'd swarm in and out of here with their little favors. However, no one could have saved me from the inquiry of a mad clown with a bone to pick. JokerxOC





	1. 24

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I started writing this little story a week ago because I wanted to explore the more gangster-esque side of Jared Leto's Joker. More of a modernized classic Joker, if you will. Which also means I'll be exploring other sides of characters within the franchise as well. To do so, I did add a few OC's. So if that's not your thing, then please, kindly skip this story. :)
> 
> However, if you want to ride out this rollercoaster with me as it delves deep into certain madness, then by all means, buckle up and R&R!
> 
> Enjoy, thank you!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing other than my own characters.

" _There's only 24 hours in a day_  
_And half of those, you lay awake_  
_With thoughts of murder and carnage_

 _If you lie down with dogs, then you'll get fleas_  
_Be careful of the company you keep_ "

-Lana Del Rey,  _"24"_

* * *

"It's a packed house tonight, Miss Pendragon."

Arnie, an assigned but faithful bodyguard of mine, commented on the crowd that awaited me.

I had just finished powdering my face, finishing the fine details of my eyes. "It's Miss Butterfly to you. You know that, Arn." I laughed inwardly.

The corner of his lips upturned into a small smile, "Yes, MISS Butterfly." his left hand adjusted on his revolver that I knew was in his holsters. "They seem a little rowdy tonight."

"Hmm," I shut my powder case. "They're men. What's more to be expected?"

Arnie let a low chuckle escape his lips. He had been around long enough to know who and what I was referring to. I needn't worry about offending him. While men could be kind and generous, ninety-eight percent were wolves. I smiled to myself.

"Any trouble, you just call me."

Pursing my lipstick to my lips I let out a small laugh, "Of course."

I put it on knowing very well that I could handle my own. However, it was comforting knowing that someone else was so dedicated to protecting me. Protecting profit. Protecting Angelo's profit.

Angelo Rouse was Gotham's rising kingpin. He was the owner of the highly successful night club and a top distributor in the cocaine ring currently circulating the city. You needed a fix, he'd help you out. He'd help out a lot of people. Which also got a lot of people in trouble.

Angelo's best trait was his welcoming warm, brown eyes. He'd coo you into a sense of trust and dependability. You'd tell him all of your secrets not knowing that the trust you thought you built was only ever one sided.

Rouse's number one rule, "Never trust a junkie." I whispered to myself as I finished my wine glass.

He was smarter than that, manipulative. But his worst trait? He was unforgiving. The things he'd do to people who betrayed him, or owed him. It sent shivers down my spine.

He's the reason why I am where I am today.

"Showtime." Arnie motioned a thumb toward the stage steps.

I took one last hard gaze at myself in my vanity. My make-up was perfect. Dainty, pink lips. Flushed cheeks. Pink and purple eyes. My summer blonde hair all tied up with purple flowers.

I popped my lips. Tonight's first show was Lady Eliza's floral burlesque. She was a brilliant cannonball flower and I, a common lilac amongst the other lilacs. Her costume's fiery orange and yellow hues shined like a beacon center stage. As it should, she was the burlesque star after all.

Her fluid dance moves mesmerized the sea of hungry guppies. Night after night I'd watch their mouths flop at a twist of the heel, a turn of the hip, a bat of a lash. She was a master and she had aimed to teach me a thing or two.

"Olive," she'd start, lighting up a cigarette. "Men don't want a woman who's soft. Nor a woman who's too hard."

I was utterly confused at the time, "So what do they want?"

She brought those big, green eyes up to mine with a smile touching each. "A fantasy."

"A fantasy?"

"Something that ain't real, doll."

I rested my chin on my folded hands, "Well how do you suppose they suspect to obtain that?"

She laughed at my innocence. "They don't." She pointed a finger at me. "It's your job to make them believe they even have the chance. Be a butterfly; beautiful to the eye but if you try to pick one up, your greasy fingers muss the wings and it can never fly the same again." She came closer, lowering her voice. "Eventually, it'll die."

A crooked smile graced Lady Eliza's face now as she puffed on her cigarette, "It's impossible to keep."

I remember grinning widely back at her, finally understanding what she meant. However, that's not the reason why they called me "The Butterfly". I let my fingers slide gently onto the sides of my corset, tracing the outlines of my various balisongs. My precious knifes.

I loved how simple and concealable they were. How sharp they could be. Easy for throwing…or carving.

The curtain began to open and my face changed immediately from pleasure to a seductive, lopsided grin. The lights were so bright on the small stage you could barely make anybody out. Though I couldn't see them well, I knew the men were drooling from their lips. My ears filled with hooting and hollering.

We began our dance, two other girls and I. Our job was to warm the audience up with our color corresponding feather fans. A dip of the shoulder, the reveal of a leg. The men loved this stuff.

Now by the time Lady Eliza burst through in her bright costume, all eyes were drawn on her. She'd grab their attention with flexible moves and a slow shed of clothes. She'd tease them with a hesitant strip, appearing to be removing one article of clothing only to decide against it at the very end. It drove them mad and even madder when she actually discarded it.

Burlesque and stripping were two very different fields, however. There is no full on nudity in burlesque shows. Its what kept them coming back for more. The allure to see something that they could only piece together with their imaginations. I couldn't blame their love for Lady Eliza. She was popular.

Tonight seemed different though. When the girls and I started our warm up performance I couldn't help but feel as if a pair of eyes were boring holes into my skin. With every twirl a flash of blue caught my eye.

Even when Lady Eliza preformed and I flowed in the background, that blue remained focused on me. Baby blue, to be exact. I span again trying to level my eyes with the ones watching me.

From the stage was a little octagon pit with smaller tables and chairs for those who could throw away a little comfort for some up close and some times personal entertainment.

The steps leading upwards from the octagonal pit brought you to the main floor with full size tables, booths, and bars. It was a much more open area for those who could sacrifice a little up close and personal time for a much more accommodating view.

That's where he was.

I dipped my head down and up for a second then brought my attention back to him. A thrill shook my heart as I attached those baby blues with the rest of his shocking physique. His skin was literally white, as if no one had told him his whole life you were suppose to bathe in water, not bleach.

It certainly didn't help his choice of hair color either. The electric green neatly slicked back on his head. His eye color was the softest thing about him.

Lady Eliza was nearing the end of her dance and not once did she ever catch his eye. No matter how many times I hid myself behind my fan, his eyes were still there. He almost had me convinced there was something on my face or my hair was falling out of place.

The girls and I slowly started our retreat back behind the curtains so that Lady Eliza could finish up her show. I watched his hand he had curled in front of his mouth clench a little with each of my backwards steps. I couldn't piece together what that was all about but once I was behind the curtains I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

My legs were like jello as I dragged myself to my vanity. I stared intently on my features while I removed my heavier make-up. Nothing was out of place. Nothing was smeared, the pins were all still perfect in my hair. Could he have really been that fascinated with me?

Why?

I heard an uproar of whistling and clapping as Lady Eliza made her re-entry behind the curtain. She was all smiles probably thinking that, again, she'd dazzled them all…but I knew the truth. All except one.

I adjusted myself on my seat. It wasn't that important to even bother her with it. What was one man? A dime a dozen. I wasn't even entirely sure why I was bothering myself with it.

"On in ten, Butterfly." Arnie echoed from my right.

I suddenly picked up the pace. I put on much lighter eye make-up, outlining my upper lids like a cat. I kept my cheeks subtle but rosy and chose a much more darker shade for my small lips. The maroon filled in the lack of make-up elsewhere. It brought attention to my mouth.

I unclipped the flowers from my hair and let it cascade past my shoulders. Running my fingers through, I scrunched my hands at the crown to help give me a little lift. Then I sprayed it in place for the rest of the night.

Satisfied, I went to go slip on my long, silver dress. It was one of my favorite pieces and most expensive, might I add. The fabric was soft and easy to move in despite that it hugged every curve.

Angelo had bought it for me for my first real gig at the night club. He said a girl like me should glimmer, so he made the dress sparkle. When I tried it on to make sure the measurements were right, he gawked, saying it fit me so well because it matched my personality.

 _Maybe_ , I thought. Maybe on the outside.

I did a little spin in the mirror and popped my lips again.

"Showtime." Arnie grinned as I came to the steps.

"Angelo out there?" I asked as I adjusted the strapless top of the dress. I caught Arnie's eyes shift for a second.

He met mine instantly, remembering his place. "No ma'am. Poker night."

"Hmm, he'd be upstairs then."

"Mmm."

I sighed, I guess this was another performance he'd miss. Not that it mattered much, it was just nice when he caught me and would praise me. Everyone did, but Angelo's were genuine.

I slowly stepped onto the stage for the second time tonight. The room was silent as my heels clicked toward the microphone. My grey eyes drifted to my right, catching the band queue up. Then slightly north-west of myself. Being predominantly a solo act the spotlight was on me. No other bright lights to ignite the stage.

I saw him. Even though the room was darker, I saw him. He was in the same seat still. Same gaze. Same curl of the fingertips. I felt my stomach knot.

Quickly, I averted my eyes back to the band. They were ready to go so I nodded my head and the music began to ring out from the side of the stage. I would open with a cover of "Blue Velvet" to familiarize the audience with my tone before starting up with any of my originals.

The song went pretty well despite the fact that the captivating man in the audience never wavered. Not even to take a sip of his drink. How long had he been like that? He was making me feel so uneasy.

It was when my number ended and everyone began clapping, that it happened. His hand moved from his ghostly face to join the other, clapping too. A slow, drawn out clap. I could make out his face a little more clearly now.

He had a squared jaw line with deep set eyes. He looked as if he hadn't slept for days. The next peculiar thing about him were his lips. They were a deep red. Was that lipstick? I couldn't be too sure. It looked way too unnaturally natural. If that made any sense.

My head started to feel light as the band cued my next and last song for the hour. As I began, the man appeared to relax along with my notes. He leaned back into the leather of the booth, his right hand now curved around his neglected drink. His strange mouth widened to a toothless smile.

I tried my best not to look directly into his blue hues, finding it difficult. I was drawn to him. From fifty feet away, he commanded my attention. And I was suppose to be the entertainer!

Throughout the entire song he continued his piercing gaze. His mouth had softened and every now and then he'd actually take a few sips of his drink. But his eyes never blinked nor wavered. I felt like I was being analyzed or assessed or something.

He smiled again. My heart panicked as I realized I had been staring right back at him. My eyes caught the floor as I finished up my song. Suddenly, my palms felt sweaty. I heard the crowd roar with applause and I looked back up. This time he wasn't clapping. Our eyes indefinitely caught. He had the edge of his glass to his slightly open mouth and let the liquid slowly crawl down his throat. I felt my breath hitch for a second. I was suddenly very thirsty.

I forced myself to blink to break the connection, coming to realize I had been licking my lips. My face felt hot with embarrassment. What was I even doing anymore? I took a quick leave off the stage.

Arnie was the first to notice, naturally. "You alright, Miss Pendragon?"

"BUTTERFLY, Arnie. You know that!" I snapped, hastily walking back to the safety of my vanity.

He threw his hands up before him, making defensive motions. "Woah, woah. Take it easy, doll."

I was staring vacantly at my reflection, "I'm not in the mood, Arn."

He huffed under his breath, "Okay, fine. I'm going to go get a drink. Your next show is in an hour." And with that he walked out of the backstage area.

I laid my forehead in my hands, rubbing my temples. I had to get a hold of myself. What was even the big deal?

"Olive?" I felt my whole body stiffen as a pair of hands slid over my shoulders.

"You look a little rough, sweetheart." It was Angelo.

I lifted my head up so he could plant a kiss on my neck. "I'm fine, Angelo. Just a bit of a headache. Maybe too much wine." I joked.

He gave a faint smile before letting out a big sigh. His hands fell from my shoulders as he walked to take a seat next to me. "I guess this is bad timing, then."

My eyes had been following him the whole time. I frowned, "What do you mean?"

He elevated his foot on one of the rungs at the bottom of the seat, resting an arm on top of it. "Well," he looked to the floor then me. "I've got quite the favor to ask ya."

His eyes seemed to grow darker thinking about this favor. My hands clenched on my vanity desk. "Well, it can't be that bad." I forced a smile.

Angelo's strong features were not amused. He leaned back in the chair now, running a hand through his slicked back hair. "I'm hoping not. I'm hoping it's nothing."

He seemed a little nervous. He was hardly ever nervous and that scared me. I pursed my lips and reached out a hand to his cheek. He wrapped his fingers around it and held it there for a moment before gently pushing it aside. My stomach was churning. He looked more than just nervous, he looked scared.

"Listen baby doll, I have a special request for you."

"Yes, I know, what is it?"

He shook his head, "No, I mean someone has personally requested you."

I felt like I was going to throw up and yet, part of me didn't feel surprised. I had an inkling of who it was. "Any particular reason?" I gazed off to the side of me, my mind running a mile a minute.

"He doesn't need one." Angelo scoffed. Now I felt disgust flow off of him as he got up. "He does as he pleases with no rhyme or reason."

Angelo dipped his right hand into his pocket to pull out a shimmering black bow. He walked up to me and placed it in my hair, letting his hands slid to either side of my face. Holding a gaze, he whispered, "I promised to protect you, and that's what I'll do. But if you have anything to do with The Joker-"

I snorted, partly offended, partly amazed. "Is that who that sickly man is? With the green hair and the red lips?"

"One in the same." Angelo raised a brow.

"Well gosh, I've heard stories about him. Never seen him though."

Angelo removed his hands, "Yeah, well, he's been on the run from The Bat for some time so I can't imagine he gets out much for pleasure."

"Or locked up in Arkham. My neighbor is a nurse there." I stood up now, touching the bow in my hair. "She's told me awful things."

Angelo's strong fingers returned to my shoulders. "And every word is true!" He shook me slightly, "Remember that."

I nodded and he urged my hand away from the bow in my hair. "It looks good on ya. Don't mess with it." he forced a smile.

My gut was screaming. Something just felt terribly wrong. Joker may have been an infamous gangster but it was nothing that Angelo couldn't handle. He must have known setting up shop in Gotham City would attract that kind of customer at some point, right? There was definitely more going on here but he already looked so distressed. I decided to leave it for now. Do as he says.

He looped his arm in mine as we began our walk to the clown's table. The hand he had entwined with my own started to sweat. I gave him a little reassuring squeeze.

He smirked, whispering, "Listen baby doll, do as he says to whatever extent you can. I'll be watching you from my office upstairs."

I sharply inhaled. My nerves were trying to get the best of me. Angelo watched me for a moment before continuing. "Play it cool. I know you can."

He gave me a squeeze this time. "I tried to find out what interest he had in you but he was very evasive."

"I don't know him, but that doesn't seem surprising." I whispered back.

Angelo rolled his jaw. "Yeah, well, he didn't even know your name. He asked me but I told him you preferred to go by your stage name, Butterfly."

I tensed a little, "And he was okay with that?"

"I dunno. He laughed, but then again he laughs at pretty much everything. Didn't ask anymore questions."

Suddenly, I felt a lump in my throat. Our stroll had come to a permanent stop. There he was, The Joker himself. He was in-between quite a large group of his men that I had apparently not noticed before.

He had his hands clasped around a glass of liquor with a gun laid out on the table. Probably the most normal thing I'd seen so far about him. Besides those eyes. They were staring right into my soul.

I finally exhaled the breath I had been unknowingly holding, my body starting to tremble. All the possibility of the things he could want of me were endless. I had heard this man had no boundaries.

Angelo's second squeeze brought me back to the present and he introduced us. "This is our beautiful Butterfly. As you requested."

Angelo glanced my way and all I could do was smile.


	2. Shades of Cool

" _But I can't help him, can't make him better_  
 _And I can't do nothing about his strange weather_

 _'Cause you are unfixable_  
 _I can't break through your world_  
 _'Cause you live in shades of cool_ "

Lana Del Rey - " _Shades of Cool_ "

* * *

"Welllll Tommy boy, aren't ya gonna move for the lady?"

The Joker leaned back in his seat, taking his drink with him. He was referring to one of his henchmen sitting in my way.

Joker looked at him expectantly, stirring his drink around in one hand. Finally getting the hint, Tommy stood up. It was clear he wasn't too bright but when it came to henchmen they were all bronze with no brains anyway.

"In fact, why don't all of you take a nice stroll for a while. I hear there's entertainment elsewhere?" He turned his attention to Angelo, probably referring to the strip club upstairs.

All of his men seemed rather fond of that idea. Angelo, however, did not. But he swallowed hard and released me, letting a smile tug at his lips, "Yeah, there's other entertainment all right. You sure you wanna miss out on that?"

By this point, the clown had his eyes back on me. He didn't even bother looking at him again. "Oh no, no, no, no, no. That's not my sort of thing. I prefer long walks on the beach, deep conversations, sunsets, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera." A wide grin spread across his face as he emphasized his last three words.

That was when I noticed he had a metal grill in his mouth. The lights dancing off of it as he smiled. I could feel the heat rolling off Angelo. He was over the games Joker was trying to play.

"Alright." Angelo looked to me and then back to him, gritting his teeth. "Take good care of her." Then he turned to the henchmen. "Follow me."

When everyone had left I felt like the whole world had melted away and that the sounds of my pounding heart could be heard over the speakers. I kept repeating  _play it cool_  over and over again in my head. Even still, my legs wobbled and I couldn't get them to move properly. This didn't seem to bother The Joker one bit though.

Rather, he took some kind of enjoyment from it. "Have a seat, I won't bite." His smile was still plastered on his face.

I knew I didn't want him to tell me a second time, so I forced myself to sit down next to him in the rounded booth. He leaned forward to push another drink I hadn't noticed, towards me. It was a glass of red wine.

"Drink?"

I looked at the offer and then back to him, "Oh no, I-"

"Drink." He turned his head forward taking a sip of his own.

I must have misunderstood him. It certainly hadn't meant to be a question.

My fingers careful overlapped around the glass, bringing it to my lips. He began to observe me. My eyes instantly met his as I took that drink. This time a small smirk graced his lips. "Good girl."

I felt a chill course throughout my body.

He leaned back again to the position he was in moments ago. His left arm was draped behind me above the booth. "So, Chrysalis-"

I put my glass down to correct him, "Ah, it's Butterfly-"

"Chrysalis," he reiterated, his features twisting. There was a pause but I comprehended at that point that he had made up his mind, whether I liked it or not. I didn't bother to fuss.

With my silence his face softened again. "I have quite the favor to ask you."

I genuinely laughed, taking another sip of my wine. "Everybody has a favor tonight, Mister Joker."

He actually smiled again, "Yes, yes they do, don't they?"

Being so much closer to him I started to notice all the tattoos riddled on his body. At least, from what I could see. "Damaged" on his forehead, a "J" on his cheek, and little scars scattered on the rest of his ghostly face. My mind started to wonder what story lied behind each wound.

Suddenly, his right hand reached for my hair. He fingered the glittery bow in it. "What a pretty accessory." he commented. "Is that from your boyfriend?"

I felt my face get hot, averting my gaze. "No, no! Angelo and I are nothing like that."

His eyes twinkled as he watched me. "Ah, Angelo." was all he said before he unclipped it from my hair. I wanted to protest, remembering what Angelo said but I didn't feel the need to start an argument over a bow. He'd understand later.

Joker was studying the bow intently now. "Looks a bit dirty." He spat on it, rubbing his thumb over it again and again. Then he inspected it, shook his head slightly, and slammed it a few times on the table. I was bewildered by all of this. What the hell was he doing?

After looking pleased with what he had done, he dropped it into a half empty beer that was abandoned by one of his henchmen. He finally turned back to me.

"Ah, well, you look much better without it honestly." he chuckled.

I tried to mirror his grin, "I suppose so."

He swigged the rest of his liquor and abruptly slammed the glass back down on the table. It made me jump little. "How 'bout another?" I assumed he was asking.

Maybe.

I wasn't taking any chances so I attempted to finish my glass in one swig as well. I wasn't the least bit graceful, however. Some of it dribbled down my chin. I caught it with my hand, giggling. I noticed he was laughing with me, his blues beaming. I felt myself loosing up a bit.

"Absolutely!" I agreed.

He flagged down a waitress passing by and ordered two more of what we were already drinking. I sensed the table vibrating following it to his phone, which had been next to the gun. You could tell it annoyed him but answered anyway, excusing himself. I was a little thankful for the moment, I wanted to regroup my thoughts.

I practiced a few breathing exercises to steady my nerves. I seemed to be doing okay so far but I know we've barely scratched the surface. I really wanted to know what his favor was and at the same time…I didn't.

When he came back, he slid right back into the booth. "Now where were we?" he said, folding his hands on the marble top.

"Uh, about the fav-"

"Ah yes!" he interrupted. "Have you grown up in this area, Chrysalis?"

The question took me aback. "Uhm, well no-"

"No, I didn't think so." He shook his head. Was he mocking me? I wasn't too sure.

"You seem like a small town girl to me." He rested his head on his right hand, curling his fingers around another grin.

I felt my stomach twist. "What gives you that impression?"

Just then, like a cliff hanger, the waitress came back with our drinks. He tipped her well and gave her a wink. Of course she drooled over it. I pitied yet admired her innocence.

"I use to know a man, by the name of Donald Freud." He started, stirring his glass with the tiny straw that was in it. "Donnie, if you will." He glanced at me.

My whole body stiffened. My fingers glued to my wine glass.

"He was, well, quite mad…but you knew that already, didn't you?"

The air was thick and silent between us. I was fighting the urge to just run away, or worse, pick up his gun and shoot him. I knew he'd snatch it before me though. His eyes traced mine.

"Ah, ah, ah. Careful." he tutted. "I was beginning to like you."

My heart sank and I wasn't entirely sure why. Did I really want him to like me?

"What do you want?" I hesitated.

The Joker didn't answer me right away, naturally. He took a few sips of his drink and smacked his lips obnoxiously. "Ah! Well, a man wants a lot of things." He intentionally let his blues meet my greys slowly. I could feel everything inside of me start to liquefy.

He licked his lips and leaned in toward me, whispering, "How strange that his house just suddenly, POOF!" He made me jump, making hand motions with it. "Went up in flames! Sounds like a bout of bad luck to me."

My lip quivered and I took a sip of my wine to slow my pace. "Well like you said, he was mad. At that, a mad scientist. His experiments were out of control."

The green haired man held up a single finger. "Oh! But I didn't say any of that."

"But everybody knows it!" I tried to defend myself.

"Do they?" He relaxed his chin in his propped hands, his face beaming. "Olive."

He knew my name. He  _knew_  my name! Probably knew it this entire time. Of course he did, how could I be so stupid!

"Olive." He repeated. I drew my face upwards to meet his. "What did Dr. Freud do to you?"

My head began to swim. "Wh-what?" I barely breathed.

Joker leaned closer, almost whispering. "Over fifty stab wounds, Chrysalis. He was carved like a Christmas ham, yet it's said he burned alive. Now, how could that be…?" A slender finger reached out to trace the balisongs attached to my thigh.

Instinctively, my hand went to grab his but I caught myself midway, letting my hand hover between us. He watched it, not with anger, but curiosity. It was apparent he had become more interested in my reactions rather than my words.

I retracted my hand to avert my eyes towards the table. I couldn't even think properly anymore. My head filled with horrible memories. Why was he doing this to me?

Unexpectedly I felt a finger stroke upwards on my cheek. Startled, I glanced back at him. He was examining the tear he captured. Was I crying? My fingertips swept my face. I hadn't noticed.

"You know, " He rotated his finger back and forth, almost admiring the salty droplet. "I don't  _really_  care what you did to him." He peered at me. I could see it from the corner of my eye. However, I didn't have the guts to look at him just yet. I was in so much distress.

He abruptly shook his hand away from himself to dispose of the tear and slide much closer to me. He pressed his arm into mine, whispering again, "Tell you what, I like you. I like your voice. You've got talent, kid. So I'm willing to bend some rules." He let a finger trace along my jawline this time. When he reached my chin he pulled my face towards his, elevating it. A wide, grill filled grin was staring back at me. "I have a very important engagement at the end of this month. That's exactly three weeks away." He used his free hand to show me three long, digits.

"I want you, " he paused to tilt his head. "that is, I would like you to be the entertainment for that night." he rephrased.

I felt the blood pumping in my ears. "I-" I fumbled with my words trying to find the right ones. "-I don't really want to decline but-"

"Then don't."

"-But Angelo-"

Joker pulled away from me in one swift motion. "Ah, yes,  _Angelo_. How you do love to talk about him."

"That's not it!" I protested. I wish he'd let me get a damn word in.

The fingers of his right hand dipped into the old beer of one of his henchmen, pulling out the soggy hair bow. He balled it in his first, looking at me with a strange expression. I couldn't place it. "How much do you trust our friend, Mr. Rouse?"

I felt a fire building in my belly. "With my life." I didn't even have to think to answer that. That man gave me everything.

"What a waste." he sneered, then he started picking apart the bow. In minutes he had what appeared to be a microscopic microphone in pieces on the table. "I don't think he feels the same, toots."

I suddenly felt very pale. This could have meant so many things and yet, I didn't want to swallow it. There had to be a reason. "He said he wanted to protect me."

"I'm sure he did." Joker laughed manically. "Why not use the one thing that would never question you. Like a puppy…a faithful dog." he snorted into the drink he was attempting to consume.

"No."

"Oh yes, sweetheart." He finished his liquor and bent towards me again. "Let me break it to you this way, he bugged you without your knowledge. If I wasn't as preceptive as I am…well I might have just…" His words slowed as a tattooed hand gently wrapped around my throat.

I inhaled with caution as his grip tightened. I couldn't shake it, this feeling. Somewhere deep down I knew he was right. If Angelo had really cared about my well being he wouldn't have been so careless. He must have known how unforgiving The Joker could be. More so than him.

It still didn't change the fact that even if I ran from Angelo, he'd find me. It was too late. I let a hardly audible word slip my lips, not realizing how tight the clown's grip had become.

"Maybe."

Joker's fingers wiggled, loosen up. "Maybe?" he echoed me.

"Maybe he did set me up. Maybe I'm just an instrument in his grand scheme, whatever that may be. But I can't deny that he's provided me with a better life than I had before. I couldn't change that verity even if I wanted to."

A smug look formed on his ghostly features, "Loyal. So loyal. Why they call you The Butterfly and not The Puppy is astounding." His face glowered. "You must like getting kicked."

As unpredictable as the weather his atmosphere changed and he showed off his metal grin. "I like that about you too, you know."

I wasn't biting. "I'm sorry, Mister J, but I just can't."

"Tell you what," he began as he slide out of the booth. "I'll come visit you every week, once a week, before my very important engagement. That's how many weeks from now?" He raised what would have been an eye brow, if he had any.

"Three." I remembered.

"And by next week?" He took a step towards me.

"Two."

He was smiling again as he gently ran three digits along the side of my face, raising my chin once more. "Good girl." he breathed. "Time is short, but I have a feeling you will change your mind."

The Joker let his fingertips slip leisurely from me. "Good night, Chrysalis."

I felt my heart racing as he parted ways with me, disappearing into the crowd. Part of me wanted to celebrate that I had survived this meeting and that it was finally over…another part was silently screaming for him to come back.

He was hard but he made very valid points. He knew too much for his own good but he was also very confident in what he knew. He was charming, abrasive albeit, but charming. I could only wonder what his manic side looked like. All the stories I had heard. I guess this was his version of "gentle".

I rested my head back on the booth. My heart was still pulsing fervently. I had to remind myself that a man like that always gets what he wants. Even if that means playing nice.

I frowned. That's right, a game. Buttering me up to bend my will. For what though, I wasn't entirely sure. I had my suspicions it was more than just a guest spot on his stage.

"Oh, baby doll! You're alright!"

My eyes traced over to the relieved voice of Angelo. How unfortunate.

He walked up and held me tightly against him, whispering. "I'm so glad you're okay. Really." he tried to give me those eyes.

"Mmhmm." I pursed my lips.

He rested his hands on either of my shoulders. "Olive, I'm so sorry. I feared at one point or another a guy like him would show up in my club. I didn't expect him to be so interested in you, though."

I kinda think my blood was starting to boil. "And why's that? I thought I was  _special_."

Angelo looked shocked as if he couldn't understand why I couldn't understand. "Baby, listen, to a guy like that no girl means nothing. Nobody means nothing." He paused. "Except for maybe that Dr. Quinzel."

That's right, I almost forgot. I'd heard she was assigned as Joker's psychiatrist in Arkham and inevitably, lost all her marbles too. Where was she tonight?

"It doesn't matter nonetheless, you're safe." He elated.

I pulled myself from his hold, "Yeah, no thanks to you!"

I stormed off in the direction of my vanity. The tall man was close on my heels.

"Olive!" he shouted. "Olive, don't you walk away from me!"

He grabbed my arm, pulling on it. My wild eyes glared at him. Customers were starting to notice the scene being played out before them.

"Let me go." I warned.

Angelo took authority, knowing exactly what he was doing. "Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna walk back to your dressing room and you're gonna tell me what the clown prince said that's got you so riled up." He was so calm and collected. From another perspective, you'd think I was just being a crazy bitch.

"You're not gonna run, you're not gonna fight me, and you'd be stupid if ya tried." His tone was even and low. People looked less interested in us. "You're not stupid, Olive."

Internally, I was screaming. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. The worst was that when I got too frustrated I would cry. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

Angelo was immediate in his actions as he wrapped an arm around me instead. He led me right back to my vanity in the backstage dressing room. I settled myself in my chair, dabbing at my tears with a tissue.

"Baby, baby, baby." Angelo repeated exhaustingly, rubbing a hand over his face. He was propped against another vanity across from mine. I could see him in my mirror.

"You lied to me, Angelo." I choked. He looked super unamused. "You said you'd protect me, but you bugged me!"

"That was to protect you, Olive."

I turned to face him, "No, you used it for information. If Mister J hadn't-"

"Ey! Don't get it twisted." I could see was becoming visibly angry. "That clown's got you all screwed up. What did he ask you, Olive?"

I just leered at him. "Olive…" he said slowly, losing his patience.

I rolled my jaw and stared at the floor. "He knows about Freud, he knows my real name. He knows I'm not from here."

"That's it?" Angelo looked a little relieved.

" _That's it?_ " I seethed. "He probably knows everything that could put me away forever, Angelo!"

He snickered, "I doubt that. That's not his style." He crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Sounds like scare tactics to me."

I was baffled, "For what?! Just so I can preform at one of his parties?!"

"What?" This seemed to deeply concern him all of a sudden.

I held my tongue for a moment, mulling it over in my brain. "He, well, he said he had an engagement happening in three weeks. He likes how I sing and wanted me to entertain."

"He should also know that booking you has to be done through  _me_." Angelo was starting to sound very possessive. I was his profit, after all.

"I know that. I told him I'd have to decline."

"And?"

"And he insisted on visiting me once a week up until the party. He thinks i'll change my mind." For some reason, talking of Mister J this way made my chest flutter.

Angelo place a hand to his chin. "That's not gonna happen. What's that clown up to?"

I shook my blonde locks about, "I have no idea. I know I'm not that good."

"No, you're great. You're my number one." he cooed, running both hands down either side of my face.

I could feel my anger start to dissipate. No matter how much he infuriated me or how much he wronged me, he always knew how to make it better. Always made it up, one way or another. I made peace with myself long ago that even if he cared, he was still a young business man at the end of the day.

"What I'm wondering, is there are a million and one other acts he could use, but he's persistent on you. Now why is that?"

I let my right fingers trace up one of his hands on my face. "I guess we'll have to find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! My rule of thumb is usually to upload two chapters to a new story so it gives you little more to read. Get a good feel of it. Instead of writing a reeeaally long chapter.
> 
> Hope you guys are enjoying it so far! Please R&R. :) More to come.


	3. Flipside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is here early because I had posted this story elsewhere a few days ago and decided to upload it here too!  
> Enjoy! :)

_"You've got me all freaked out tonight_

_Somethin' you're tellin' me, what? I don't know_

_You don't wanna break me down_  
_You don't wanna say goodbye and_  
_You don't wanna turn around_  
_You don't wanna make me cry but_  
_You caught me once_  
_Maybe on the flipside I could catch you again_ "

Lana Del Rey - " _Flipside_ "

* * *

The rest of the week everyone that worked at

Angelo's club was buzzing about the presence of the Clown Prince of Crime. Even though we had decided to keep it under wraps it certainly didn't stop the number of witness' gossiping. How could you miss a spectacle like that?

Of course, no one dared to approach me about the matter in fear of Angelo's wrath…other than Lady Eliza.

For some reason, she had gained a solid interest in the matter and I wasn't all too sure if it was out of curiosity or jealousy. Maybe both. Though honestly, there was nothing to be jealous about. She can trade lives with me if that's what she truly desired.

Being stuck between a rock and a hard place I'd love to just preform my act and then toddle off to my luxurious home without a care in the world. Sleeping with senators, mayors, and other various forms of politicians and millionaires.

She even claimed to have a fling with Bruce Wayne once but from what I've seen of the man, he doesn't strike me as the type to have rendezvous with show girls. But I let her gloat if it made her shut up about The Joker.

Not by much though.

The next week that Joker was to arrive was to be a complete surprise to everyone, including myself. He never specified what day of the week he'd visit which was probably on purpose. It kept everyone on their toes. Especially Angelo.

"Miss Butterfly?" Arnie nearly shook as he approached me backstage.

I had just finished a set and was pinning up my hair from the heat. It was a hot one tonight in Gotham. "Yes, Arnie, dear?"

"He's here."

I immediately froze at those words, a rush of apprehension washing over me. I thought I'd be more prepared but who was I kidding? I stood up to face my loyal bodyguard.

"You want a shot?" I gestured to the counter of my vanity.

"Oh, Miss, I just-"

"Arnie, I need a shot and I don't want to do it alone." I demanded.

A small smile creeped up on his large mug. "Of course."

Sometimes, I'd dare to say that Arnie was one of my best friends. I hummed with content and poured the rum in two shot glasses. I handed my bodyguard his and we clinked them together before throwing them back. My face twisted with the bitterness so I washed it down with Lady Eliza's lime seltzer she left opened on her vanity. I didn't think she'd really mind, nor did I care.

Arnie was silently trying not to laugh. I couldn't help but grin, "Maybe I should stick to wine, huh?"

"Whatever is going to get you through this, you should stick too."

I nodded to him, "Solid advice."

"Olive?! Where's Olive?!" I heard a familiar frantic voice call.

"I'm right here, Angelo."

Angelo looked extra flustered tonight. I wondered what the clown could have possible done already. His face red as he spoke, "Looks like you'll be entertaining upstairs tonight."

I felt a little confused but he quickly helped me find my way back. "The Joker's requested one of the private booths on the second floor." Angelo's eyes shifted to the ground. "Although  _requested_  may be a poor choice of words."

It broke my heart to see my man so distraught over one person. Almost made me consider just accepting Joker's offer and be done with it.

Now it was my turn to rest my hands to his face. "I know he's unsettling…a bit bad for business…if I just-"

Angelo firmly clasped his hands around mine. "No. Absolutely not." He turned away, running a hand through his slick, black hair. "There's more to this than just some stage gig. He's scheming something and I don't like that he's involving you."

I wasn't sure what to say. Even if it was true, I had no  _real_  unusual qualities.  _Really._

Sort of.

Nothing that I believed would interest such a man.

"Okay." Angelo said to himself before turning around pointing a serious finger at me. "Okay, you have to get more information out of him tonight, Olive. You have too."

I was shaking my head, "I mean, I can try. I can't promise anything."

He clenched his fist as if he was about to add something but thought better of it and looked at his wrist watch instead. "Get out there. Arnie, escort her."

Arnie nodded and we locked arms as we made our way to the stairs.

"Good luck." Angelo bobbed his head.

I gave him a wink.

With each step I could feel my heart plummet deeper and deeper into my stomach. My fingers began to quiver along Arnie's thick ones. However, instead of squeezing my hand for reassurance, he let me quake.

That was so like him. He probably wanted me to ride out the fear, to find my own inner strength. Arnie always had a funny way of teaching me things.

As we entered the second level, our ears were bombarded with heavy bass music that vibrated through the tiles. Everything looked so foreign to me. The second floor was never a place I went or wanted to go. More so, Angelo's shady deals happened up here.

We glided across the open floor plan to a few private balcony rooms hidden in the far back. From outside, you couldn't see in. Once inside, you had a terrific view of the lower level's stage through the ten foot tall glass railing. It basically acted like a fake wall with velvet curtains added in case you really wanted a room for more secluded entertainment.

It was definitely a unique aspect.

We halted in front of room 05. Arnie glanced at me, "Ready?"

I inhaled and exhaled deeply before answering, "Ready."

He only had to knock once before a familiar, burly man opened the door. This was definitely the oaf named Tommy.

"I've brought Miss Pendragon." My bodyguard gestured to me. I forced a cute smirk.

"Oh, ah the Butterfly! Boss!"

"Yes, Thomas, I know. I'm not even ten feet from you." The Joker said uninterested, fixated on the current show beyond the glass.

Tommy waved me in and ushered me to take a seat next to Mister J. He thoughtlessly closed the door on Arnie only to stand in front of it. The clown still hadn't moved from his spot during any of this. He seemed to be lost in his own head.

"How thick do you think this glass is?" Joker finally spoke after a few awkward minutes of silence passed.

What an odd question, "Hmm, I'm not sure. Standard tempered glass I would think, Mister J."

"So it's easily breakable." He muttered to himself while he lightly rapped a knuckle against it. Then, as usual, his whole demeanor changed when he whipped around with a grin. "How about a drink, Chrysalis? I haven't ordered anything yet. I'm quite parched."

I concurred, "Sure, Mister J."

He showed off his metal grill to his henchman. "Tommy, my boy, one-" Blue hues flashed towards me.

"Vodka seltzer." I answered for him.

Back to the frumpy man. "-for the lady and whatever top shelf whiskey you find. On the rocks."

Tommy nodded, maybe a few more times than he needed too, before exiting.

With just the two of us in the room, The Joker seemed to come alive. He clasped his hands together onto the table. His metal grin gradually becoming a simple tug of the lips. "Did you know a man free fell about 22,000 feet once, and survived. He broke glass quite similar to this one. Maybe thicker." He tapped his knuckle again.

"Oh?" I was slightly interested…slightly worried.

"Although this distance is much shorter, you're more likely to receive a more  _fatal_  injury."

I clenched my fingers, "Why's that?"

He looked all too happy to tell me as he peered behind himself. "Well, you'd certainly be impaled by several of those chairs and you  _might_  break your neck if you caught the edge of the stage  _juuuuust_  right."

He brought his full attention to me and I could detect a now accustomed urge to vomit. My stomach was all tied up in knots.

The clown propped both forearms on the table as he bent in my direction. Suddenly, like an unpleasant saving grace, Tommy was back with our drinks. Joker looked a little irritated.

"I have your drinks, boss." The goofy man gave a lopsided grin.

The Joker smoothed back his electric green hair and forced a smile, "Thomas, you do realize there is a door for a  _reason_ , don't you old boy?"

The oaf didn't quite understand. "But I have your drinks."

I could see the man next to me start to boil, and nobody wanted that. I interjected. "I think what he means," I eyed The Joker who remained perfectly still. "is that you forgot to knock."

At this point, I heard Joker fiddling with the barrel of his gun. He was counting bullets.

Tommy chuckled stupidly, "Oh! Of course! I can knock! I'll just-"

I had to act fast. I stood up to assist the henchman with the liquor. "No, no. No need for that. Just place the drinks on the table and be on your way."

I practically pushed him out the door as I flashed him a sweet smile, "Just remember next time, alright?"

He nodded with eager enthusiasm and determination. Poor fool.

Letting out a small sigh of relief, I leaned my back against the door. The Joker laid his gun on the dark wood with a crooked, metal smirk plastered on his face.

"Did you really think I'd shoot him?" He asked with a hint of amusement.

I smoothed out the end of my high-waist skirt. "Maybe."

He contemplated this for a second, "Mm, maybe." He let a mocking laugh escape his painted lips. "But in this fine establishment? Never."

I took it for what it was, a joke. Seating myself back down, I gave a little joke of my own. "Well, I appreciate your restraint."

"And I'd appreciate your acceptance of my invitation." Some how, his smile seemed more deadly. "But we can't all get what we want, now can we?"

I found myself taking a very drawn out sip of my drink. Did this mean that he'd whack Tommy when they left the club? I was starting to feel sorry for the big ape.

And I could pick up the undertone of annoyance. I attempted to clear the air, "Angelo sa-"

Joker dismissed me with a wave, "Bah, why do you wish to talk about things that I don't wish to talk about _._ "

I was miffed but before I could begin again he interposed, "Did I ever tell you I use to be an entertainer, just like yourself?"

This caught me off guard. He had me attentive.

"No…" I hesitated.

"It's all a bit hazy." He whirled a tattooed hand around. "Mind you, this was before my acquaintance with ACE." He chuckled.

I had heard this story before, or rather a rumor like that. That The Joker was an ordinary man before his dip in the vat. But they were just stories. No one really knew Joker's past.

"What was it that you did?" I inquired, leaning forward.

Again, he smiled meeting my face. We must have been inches apart. "I told jokes, of course." He sniggered a little.

I furrowed my brow, "So a comedian?"

He dodged my question with more detail. "I distinctly remember a crooked cop who came to see almost all of my performances. He was a tall, stocky man. Well built." The clown tasted his drink. "Well aged, too. Salt and pepper hair. His nose was a bit crooked. Angled a little to the right…"

He said his last words very carefully while watching the color of my skin drain.

"W-with a mustache…and a dimpled chin…" My whole body felt like it would be thrown into convulsions.

Joker's blue eyes lit up, "Oh! So you know him?"

Hot tears spilled over onto my cheeks. I could barely whisper, "My…father…"

" _Yesss_!" His hands came down hard against the table top. "How funny he was lead investigator to Dr. Freud's untimely end." His fingertips began a leisurely decent up my thigh.

Back to Freud. I was whisking my head back and forth. His whole entire story was bullshit. He wanted to get at me. He wanted to hurt me.

His breath fell hot onto my ear as he murmured, "Seventy stab wounds, was the final count, and not one was in the official statement, Chrysalis."

His fingers were still on the move as I tried to process what was happening. Then my blood froze cold. I suddenly realized what his target was.

I tried to be quick, but he was much quicker. A sea of pain burst from gut, instantly making me lurch into his lap. He had swiped one of my butterfly knifes with which he impaled in me.

He twisted it mercilessly as his free hand removed the pins from my hair. "Nothing personal, my little bug."

I began coughing up blood. Panic set in as I gasped for air. I couldn't seem to get enough. His fingertips glided softly through my now loose locks, stroking.

Joker looked at me fondly, "You have to understand, some people just need to be sent a message. I'm a very impatient man."

He finally removed my knife. It made a sickening sound as it left my body. He set it on the table, pulling a handkerchief from the inside of his suit jacket.

His touch was surprisingly gently as he dabbed at my mouth. "I like your hair better down." The clown mumbled and my vision started to spin. I could hear him tutting "You're a mess." before I was completely enveloped in darkness.


	4. Dark Paradise

" _And there's no remedy for memory your face_

 _Is like a melody, it won't leave my head_  
_Your soul is hunting me and telling me_  
_That everything is fine_  
_But I wish I was dead_ "

\- Lana Del Rey " _Dark Paradise_ "

* * *

My entire body felt heavy. The blood in my veins

promptly replaced with cement. The feeling was suffocating, seemingly giving my lungs trouble to rise and fall. I remembered this sensation after the first time I had awoken as one of Donnie's experiments.

I knew what was to come next.

I tried to relax myself as I inhaled deeply, forcing my weighty eyelids to open. It took a few tries but eventually they fluttered apart. I was greeted by a dark, mahogany paneled room. Judging by the white tiled ceiling I could only concluded that I was in Angelo's office.

I must be on his leather couch. I let my fingertips graze along the slick cushions. A dull pain loomed in the back of my skull. There was always a headache.

I bravely ran my hands across my abdomen finding nothing more than a small hole in my skirt. Of course. Willing my body upright I inspected the hole further. I was definitely stabbed but miraculously there was no wound and I indeed, was not dead. Although I should have been.

Donnie saved my life tonight. However, I couldn't say I was grateful. I'm living this nightmare because of him too.

The door creaked open, "Olive?"

I turned my direction towards a very distraught Angelo. He looked absolutely haggard.

"Baby doll…" he stumbled into the room, closing the door behind him.

"You look awful." I mused, somehow pulling a small smile onto my lips.

He pulled a chair up next to me and sat down. His head cradled in his hands. "Goddamnit…" he whispered at first.

"Goddamnit!" his voice came to a shout as he kicked a leg at the air.

I had so many emotions building inside of me. I've always known Angelo as a strong man. Just a few visits from a clown and his whole world was turned upside down.

I tore my gaze away from him, "He knew, Angelo. He knew." I curled a hand against my stomach.

I could feel Angelo's eyes trying to search my face. "He knew I couldn't die…not like that anyway." I finally brought my eyes to meet his.

His jaw tightened. "He used your blood to write a message on the glass. It was a pretty horrific scene."

"Yeah." I let my hands drop to my sides. "He said 'Sometimes you got to send people a message'." My eyes narrowed towards the man before me. "Angelo, what did you do?"

He ran a hand up and down his tired face. "I don't know. It might have something to do with Freud."

"What does that  _mean_?"

He was shaking his head, "I don't know, Olive! Just leave it! I'll handle it." He abruptly got up from his chair.

I swung my legs off the couch, "The hell I will! I was nearly  _murdered_  because of you!"

Angelo had his back facing me with his hands on his hips. He tilted his head back, "Jesus, Olive." Then he turned to me. "Listen, you need to go home." He paused for a moment. "No. You need to stay with Lady Eliza. Don't come back here until I figure this out. Her condo is in a well protected building. You'll be safe there. I guarantee it."

"You guaranteed me a lot things…" I mumbled heatedly to myself. I couldn't believe he was dodging important information that somehow had to connect to me.

"Look," he continued. "I brought you a change of clothes and Lady Eliza has already agreed to taking you in for a week…maybe longer. She'll be heading to the limo in about-" he looked to his watch. "-fifteen minutes. I need you to get in that limo, Olive. Can you do that?"

I really didn't want to, but I knew I had to. I also wasn't particularly looking for another encounter with the clown so soon.

"Alright." I sighed, defeated.

Angelo came over to plant a peck on my lips. "Thank you, baby doll."

With that, he left the room quickly.

I sat there for minute peering at the hole in my skirt. I really loved this skirt. It went with everything. I exhaled deeply as I got up to change. The clothing he had left me was laid out on his square, oak desk. It was a long-sleeved, lavender babydoll dress.

 _How fitting_ , I smirked. He always bought me pretty things.

I slipped on the dress and strapped my heels before discarding the bloodied clothing into the bin behind his desk. Nobody would be in here to find any of it and I knew he'd have it immediately destroyed by the morning.

I pulled open the oak door only to be welcomed by flashing cameras and the Gotham police scouring all over the second floor. Which was a strange thing to see.

And kind of funny too.

Angelo being the kingpin that he is, all he ever left police with was a hunch. They suspected he was the leader of the ring but had no proof that he actually was. Angelo also had enough crooked cops under his belt to keep any evidence from being found. He had quite the inner circle.

My legs strode through the many officers and investigators that were inspecting the area. The second level looked so much different without the lights dimmed. In an odd way, it made it seem more seedy. Like the light told the story of the real going ons in here.

There was a lot you could hide in the dark.

My attention was snagged by a group of officers huddled between booths 04 and 05. They were in lengthy conversation with a man dressed in a tan trench coat. His face was wrinkled intently as the younger of the four filled him in.

Upon further inspect, I recognized the man. It was Commissioner Gordon. A lump in my throat had formed. This meant The Bat was not too far behind. No wonder Angelo was a wreck.

I found myself drawn to the scene of my attempted murder. Red scribbled words catching my irises. There was a slender girl inside taking pictures of the crime. She must have been with forensics.

I leaned a hand on the door, taking it all in. My blood was certainly used to write a message, alright. A bunch of "Ha, ha, ha's" and "One week" sloppily scrawled across its length. I doubted anyone would understand what any of it meant.

But I did.

My eyes fell upon the seat of the booth. Sprawled across it was another girl. A dead girl.

I felt my fingers grip the molding of the doorway. She had been stabbed brutally in the gut, just like me. Her eyes frozen forever in terror. Her hair matted to the leather. I started to piece it all together.

I didn't die, so someone else had to take the fall. She had been a recent higher here. A no name stripper. I could feel that familiar squirm in my gut. The linear measures Angelo would take to protect himself and his business sickened me sometimes.

And yet…

"Hey! You're not suppose to be in here!"

I turned to see the younger officer glaring at me and the forensic inside. I stepped away as the dainty blonde made her way out. She held her camera close to her heart. The officer looked puzzled between us two.

"How did you even get in here? All reporters are to stay  _outside_  of the crime scene." he gestured to the other girl.

A reporter, huh? I could see that.

She offered him a sly smile, "No worries, officer. I was just leaving."

As she tried to make a break for it he called after her but another booming voice interrupted. We both snapped our heads in that direction.

"Stanza! What's all the trouble?" It was Commissioner Gordon.

I glanced back to see the girl had disappeared, making a clean get away. Officer Stanza saw this too. He looked mortified.

"C-Comissioner Gordon, sir!" he hurried back to the mustached man to relay the events.

Suddenly forgotten, I used this opportunity to slip away as well. I was in no mood to be questioned by anybody. I was a ghost floating through the chaos that had unfolded in a night club that I use to call home. All of the officials were too busy with their noses buried deep into the investigation.

I managed to reach the entrance of the club without a single question. The air had become cool and I felt light on my feet. The whirling colors of red and blue made me dizzy as I tried to find Lady Eliza's limo in the thick of it.

I passed by a few co-workers being interrogated by more police. Everyone I came across looked emotionally wrecked. Which would be normal for anyone who had been a witness to a ruthless murder. However, I couldn't say I felt the same.

Some how I felt,  _liberated_.

"Butterfly!"

My focus diverted to a white limo containing Lady Eliza hanging out of the window. She was smiling ear to ear as she waved me to her vehicle.

When I approached, she propped open the door for me to climb in. I didn't hesitate. All I wanted in this moment was to be as far from this joint as possible.

Lady Eliza closed the door behind me and nestled back into the cushiony seats. "You look surprisingly well." She cooed, taking a sip of the martini in her other hand.

I cringed.

She noticed this. "Don't worry, love. Your secret is safe with me." She winked.

I couldn't bring myself to trust her. More over, how the hell did she even know?

As if reading my mind, she answered. "Angelo told me. A loooong time ago."

That bastard. Betrayed again.

"Why would he tell you?" Poison evident in my voice.

"To protect you, naturally." She seemed to be having fun with this.

I was not amused. "Yeah, that's what I keep hearing. Yet I still got stabbed."

"You don't trust any of us, do you?"

I didn't answer.

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Everything Angelo does, he does within good reason and intent."

I felt a pain in my heart. I acknowledged most of that to be true, but still.

The limo went over a small bump in the road making Lady Eliza's black bob sway. "I can see that clown is very influential."

I smoothed my fingers over the lace strewn around the under bust of my dress. "What's the deal with that any way?"

"Nothing that directly concerns you." She took another sip. "Mostly Dr. Freud. Ya kinda got caught up in it. I think you've served Joker's purpose."

That stung a little bit and again, I wasn't sure why.

The rest of the ride had remained a silent one. Which wasn't all bad considering we had only been four minutes from her condo.

When we were finally inside, I marveled at how luxurious everything looked. It was all splashed in light hues. From plush, pink seating to white fur rugs. She had a knack for expressing her riches.

"You can sleep on the settee." She tossed her purse on the counter and lit a cigarette.

I could imagine she only had one bedroom considering she didn't have many female visitors. She pulled brandy from her fridge along with one small glass. Her eyes met mine, "I'm retiring to my room. It's been a long night."

I watched her close her bedroom door behind her before plopping down on the sofa. Staring upwards, I observed the main chandelier swing lightly back and forth. It was hypnotizing in its movements. My fingers absentmindedly trailed along my abdomen again.

I squinted down at my short fingernails thinking about the scar that would never be. Donnie started to cross my mind.

My body stretched back onto the rest of the sofa as I let my eyes close. His face filling in the void behind my lids. I recalled the day he had decided to that I was no longer anything more than his experiment.

That day started off like any other day. I wouldn't visit Donnie often while he was working at his lab, but when I did, it was usually with lunch or dinner in hand. I remembered bringing turkey sandwiches and pasta salad.

At the time, I was a simple waitress at the local diner in the small town of Monroe. The lab where Donnie worked towered over the town like some leering giant. Everybody was afraid of it.

Not me though. I thought Donnie was brilliant. I thought he could change the world. Change us. Change me.

I loved him.

"I thought I'd make a simple dinner for us tonight. Something easy to eat while you work." I set the plastic bag next to him.

He was engrossed in his microscope studying whatever liquid he had on the slide. "Olive, hun, I've got a deadline. I have no time for eating."

I pouted. I was very child-like back then. I was also nineteen. "You work so hard, though."

He sighed, turning away from his work. "I know, pumpkin. But if I don't finish this…"

"Whose it for?" I took up a chair next to him.

He looked weary to speak. "A very important man whose paying me good, good money." His eyes traced worriedly back to his microscope.

My brows furrowed, "The big one?"

I could see a faint smile tug at the corner of his thin lips. "Yes, the big one. With this money we could certainly leave this town."

Excitement grew in my chest. "Really?! Well what do you need help with? Is there anything I could do?"

He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. "Ah, I'm afraid not. The formula seems stable but I'm not sure if it will really work. I've exhausted all my rats so I'll have to go out and get another…test subject…" He had paused now, slowly lifting his eyes to me.

"So you just need more mice?" I inquired, never picking up the warning sign.

"Olive," I curiously watched his hand crawl across his desk reaching for something. "baby, doll face, you really wanna be Donnie's little helper?"

A wave of caution washed over me. There was something crazed lurking behind his deep, brown eyes. Why hadn't I noticed it before? I stared as he pulled a syringe from the desk.

"Donnie, you're scaring me." I jumped out of my chair.

His tone turned dark. "You said you wanted to help, right? Remember when we sat under the stars and talked about how we wanted to blow this town. Well," he waved the syringe around. "this is it! Don't you want that?"

My heart was pounding as my eyes welled. He was using our precious memories against me. It tore a hole in my soul. "Not like this, Don."

His face slacked with something I didn't recognize. "It's too late. You're committed."

I screamed when he lunged for me, pinning me to the ground. I fought my hardest against his strong arms but of course I was no match. He was merciless as he held my head down, exposing my neck.

"Donnie, don't! Please!" I begged, struggling not to choke on my own tears.

His voice was very hushed, "Olive, this is so important to me. Important for us. If I don't finish this tonight he might-" I could see his internal struggle with that out come. "This is for the best. You'll be alright. I promise."

A guttural sound ripped from throat as he jammed the needled into my neck, dispensing the clear liquid. It felt like cement coating my veins. The same feeling I had after waking up from being brutally shanked. But of course, the first time that it happened, I didn't know what was going on. Or why.

This was suppose to be the man I love. The man I supported. The man I saw myself having a future with whether we stayed in this town or not. Albeit, he was several years older than me so my fantasies may have been just that, fantasies. Looking back, I was very naive to believe he'd ever really put me before his work.

I let a heavy breath escape my lips. My memories didn't seem real anymore. I had locked away all of my time spent with Donnie in the back of my mind. After his death, I just wanted to sweep him under the carpet like old dust. I assumed he deserved that, making me into what I am today. Imagine all the kooks who'd love to dissect this little bug.

 _Little bug_.

My eyes immediately opened. I caught the sound of a faint scrape touching the window outside. Biting my lip, I debated if I really wanted to know what or  _who_  that sound belonged to. Then again, if I didn't act, Lady Eliza could be in danger.

I mustered up the courage to sit up and glance out the balcony glass doors. There was nobody there but the noise definitely emitted from beyond it. What did I have to really lose at this point?

I got up and trailed slowly to the double doors. I pressed my right hand against the glass. My eyes scanned the entire balcony but still, there was nothing. Then I heard the scratching again. It was coming from above me.

I switched on the outside light to get a better look at what was catching against the glass. Tied to the neck of the lamp was a purple balloon and tied to the balloon was a folded piece of paper. My name was scrawled upon it.

I clenched my teeth, preparing to retrieve it. I had an inkling to who might have written me. I gingerly pushed open one of the doors and snatched the note from the balloon. My hands were shaking as I tried to unfold it.

Something dropped out of the note making me leap a few feet back. I had to cover my mouth quickly to stifle my subtle scream. My eyes darted back and forth making sure Lady Eliza didn't hear me.

After a few seconds of silence, I investigated the object that had fallen to the floor. It was a perfectly preserved butterfly. Emphasis on  _was_ , before I had let it drop unceremoniously to the tile. It's wings mostly shattered. I could somehow relate.

My grey eyes drifted back to the now opened note. The hand writing was more or less chicken scratch. Scribbles of a mad man:

_Dear Chrysalis,_

_In light of the horrendous ordeal Mr. Rouse put you through, I hope you can accept my token of apology. I know how much you like butterflies._

_Delicate little things._

_I'd also like to clear the air between us, little bug. So I'm temporarily rooming at the opposite end of this building with a friend, number 208._

_I'll be expecting you in five._

_\- J_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I wanted to take a second and thank everyone for the kudos! I'm going to be busy the next couple of days so I wanted to add at least one more chapter before next week. I also felt that this was an appropriate place to insert a little of Olive's backstory to bring things full circle, eventually. I know some stuff might still be a bit unclear but don't you worry, everything happens for a reason. ;)
> 
> I hope you're all still really enjoying this, and please, R&R!
> 
> Thank you!


	5. Million Dollar Man

" _I don't know how you convince them and get them, but_  
 _I don't know what you do, it's unbelievable_  
 _And I don't know how you get over, get over_

 _Someone as dangerous, tainted and flawed as you_ "

\- Lana Del Rey " _Million Dollar Man_ "

* * *

If I were smart, I would call the police.

I'd lead them to the Clown Prince and be rewarded greatly. Granted, they might have to put me in witness protection afterward. I couldn't see The Joker being any less forgiving than Angelo. Emphasis on less.

But this was all under the assumption that I were smart. That I made the best decisions for myself and everyone around me.

I opened Lady Eliza's front door as soundless as I could. Being that it was made of wood it creaked ever so slightly. I held my breath as I slipped through the crack I had made and shut the door with a quiet thud.

Leaning against this door for a moment, I had accepted that long ago, I was none of these things. And I couldn't deny the curiosity building inside because in all technicality he  _did_  try to kill me. However, at the same time, he already knew it wasn't lethal. So did that cancel out any ill will altogether? Did it make him kind or mean?

And the bigger question;  _why?_

As I trudged down the hall I could feel butterflies in my stomach this time. A different kind of nervousness that I can only relate to the first time I stepped on stage. The faces of the rowdy crowd fixated on me. An excitement of sorts, but in this case, mixed with a little bit of worry.

What more does he really have to say?

I turned the hall and glanced at the numbers on the doors there. 213, 212, 211. I was definitely going to right way. I clenched the note I still hand in my left hand. My feet seemed to grow heavier as I inched closer.

210, 209…208.

I swayed back and forth. What was I doing? Was I insane? All of these things suddenly rushed through my head, making me feel weak. I couldn't even bring my hand up to knock.

Was I even suppose to knock?

I jolted backwards as the door unexpectedly pulled back with great force, subsequently answering one of my many questions. A goofy smile greeted me. It was Tommy.

"Butterfly!" the oaf beamed.

I let out a small sigh. He let him live, good.

Tommy side stepped out of the way to let me in, his right hand frantically gesturing me inside. I cautiously entered the threshold. There was no turning back now.

I immediately noticed how luxurious this place was but in opposite to Lady Eliza's. Where she had light hues, this space was decorated in darker hues. Black tile, dark wood, rich reds. My eyes veered off to a middle aged business man bound to a Victorian-esque chair. I heard a cackle.

"Oh don't mind him, he and Harls were just playing a little game." I set my greys onto that familiar mug. He was in a much bigger chair with his now gloved hands intertwined. That same metal grin looming. "Just some entertainment to pass the time. You're early."

"By two minutes!" a woman, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, held two slender fingers up to my face. She shared the same crazed expression as The Joker. This must have been Dr. Quinnzel. Or was.

"She's cute." She winked as she pinched my right cheek. My face scrunched at the touch.

"Now Harls," Joker began, sounding more like a father than a lover. "she's a guest and Daddy has business with her. You have your toys."

Harley understood all too well. "Of course!" her accent was thick as she walked behind the man in the chair. She used the baseball bat she held in her other hand to lift his chin.

"Mr. Zachary hasn't been the most gracious host." She tightened the bat against his throat, making him gag. "That's not very nice and I thought we were friends."

Joker looked to her fondly. "I know, kitten. Tell you what," He propped himself forward. "you take good ole' Zachary into the next room over there and I'll try to make this quick. Maybe even join you."

It were moments like this that that grin scared me the most. It's meaning completely changing with a few simple words.

The pigtailed blonde was more than happy to comply. "Alright, Puddin'."

She pranced over to the clown to plant a kiss on his cheek. Then she made her exit to the room next to us, dragging poor Zachary along with her. This whole time I had not moved from my spot as I watched these loony events unfold.

I became suddenly very aware that Joker's attention was on me. The same sensation of little pin pricks coating my skin beneath those pools of blue. He appeared to be waiting for me to do something. Which I assumed was to sit but even though I knew that, I couldn't get my legs to move.

"Have a seat." He gently command, waving a hand to the chair in front of him.

Like magic, I was able to walk myself to the velvet chair. I delicately lowered into the fine fabric, flattening the end of my dress against my crossed legs. This is when I came to the realization that I did not have  _any_  of my knives on me. Between all of the chaos from this evening I had completely forgotten something that was most important to me. Something that made me feel safe.

Joker picked up on my panic. He raised an index finger at me before retrieving a small box from the end table next to him. He extended it my way which I graciously took.

When I opened the gift, my eyes grew wide. Inside were ten new balisongs with beautifully crafted handles. They had tiny butterflies attached where the blades met the handle and the handle gleamed a bluish-green color. I couldn't help but let my fingers trace each one.

"I might have gotten a little carried away and borrowed all of your knives. I hope they weren't terribly important."

 _Borrowed?_  I asked an obvious question, "Why not return those ones to me then?"

He licked his lips, "Let's just say I already put 'em to good use."

I didn't even wanna know. I replaced the lid back on the sleek box and smiled at him, "Thank you, they're beautiful."

He rested back into his chair, his fingers gripping either end of the arms. "What an interesting color of dress." he commented, eyeing my up and down.

He was avoiding my compliment. Fair enough. I hunched myself towards him. "You mentioned something about 'clearing the air' in your note. What exactly did you want clear up?"

"Well, that should be obvious." He countered with a smirk.

I didn't really think it was. Nothing was obvious with him. "Was it for attempting to murder me? Because I think these knives should suffice." I glossed my fingers over the box again.

"Now can it  _really_  be considered attempted murder? I'd like to think I more or less put the victim down for a nap." he grinned.

"You're still calling me a victim, though." I countered.

His smile grew from ear to ear. "You're right. You're not a victim, you're a high price antidote."

I immediately didn't like where this was going, my face showing my confusion, "Antidote?"

"Oh, yes! That's what I wanted to clear the air about." He was leaning forward again. "That serum running through your little veins."

_Oh, no._

"That's fully paid for…"

_Dear God._

"By me."

My hair flitted from side to side as I shook my head. "I-I don't understand…"

"Who do you think Dr. Freud was making that serum for?" Joker curled his right hand around his mouth.

"Why?"

The clown became animated in an instant, "Well why not?!" He slapped a hand down onto the arm of the chair. "Imagine a world where no matter what, ole' Batsy couldn't be rid of me! I'd be his never ending joke and he'd be my never ending punch line!"

The Joker paused for a minute, mulling that over, "Mm, maybe that should be the other way around."

"But The Bat doesn't kill!" I protested.

"Oh, I don't know about that." His expression seemed to soften to a mocking pity. "We all have our dark side, Olive."

I didn't know what to say. You only heard so much about Batman through the news.

Joker shifted in his seat, "So here's the deal, toots. Since I've already paid for you, you technically belong to me because we all know I can't just dial up old Freud for another." he casted a sneer my way.

This whole thing was a trap, from start to finish.

The green haired man knelt on one knee before me, cupping his hands around my face. "The antidote is a thing of the past. An idea long tossed aside. I have many ideas that I sprinkle across my map." He made a sprinkling motion with his left fingers. "So where ever life may take me, I've always got a plan." He used the same hand to poke me lightly on the nose. "Remember that."

I felt chills up my spine. He now rested either hand on the side of my thighs, tilting his head. "However, I never lose out on a profit.  _Never._ "

I bit my lip, hesitantly asking, "So what do you want me to do?"

He shot up laughing, "Why what I've been asking you to do this whole time, Chrysalis!" He out stretched his arms. "Be a part of my show!"

Ah, the important engagement he was hosting. "That seems too simple…" I said suspiciously.

The mad man collapsed his hands together bowing slightly. "That's because  _it is_."

"And that's all you want? Truly?"

"Truly." He smiled wickedly.

I huffed as I contemplated my options. I could do this one thing, this one little thing for him. I was getting off considerably easy and if this was only because he happened to be in a good mood, I should take it. One story I've never heard is Joker going back on his word. I had some solace in that.

"Alright." I finally agreed, coming to my feet.

"Excellent!"

"Just one thing," I could see his face trying not to waver as he listened. "I have to break it to Angelo. He has to know. I owe him that."

Joker let his fingers creep over his mouth as he digested this information. I held my breath but nothing happened. Instead, he let his hands fall behind his back. "I can understand that."

I let out a sigh of relief as he smiled, "Of course, there are some things I thought you 'ought to know." His blue eyes trailed over to a manilla folder that had also been on the end table.

"What's that?" I analyzed it.

He opened his red lips, about to speak but somewhere in between the words flowing from his brain to his mouth, he changed tact. Thought better of it. "I think I'll leave that up to you to find out. None of my business anyway."

I could have asked him why he even bothered with it then but I already knew the answer to that. He didn't need a reason. Never did.

He picked up the folder and handed it to me. I took hold of the other end, tugging it. The clown kept a tight grip. "I'll be seeing you very soon, Chrysalis."

My heart raced as we locked eyes. The same emotions I had felt the first time we made eye contact during the burlesque show. My palms were starting to sweat along with the thick tension that clouded the air. For some reason, I didn't want to look away this time. Part of my feared that if I did, he'd disappear like the enigma he was and I'd wake up from this as a bad dream.

I noted the normal nauseous feeling was not currently present.

A tremendous bang came for the room next door. With little delay he averted his eyes towards it, another smile upturning his lips. "Ah, it sounds like Harley is having a little  _too_  much fun."

He released the file into my custody.

"Thank you, Mister J." I said, not actually knowing what I was thanking him for. My life, maybe?

He turned his smile to me before rotating back towards the commotion next door, beginning a slow walk. I took this opportunity to make my leave. I was almost startled by the clumsy oaf stationed at the door. He had been so quiet the entire time.

Tommy gave me a silly grin. I couldn't help but smile back, poor kid. He really must have had a heart of gold. I imagined all the ways Mister J took advantage of Tommy's slowness.

As I exited, the henchman waved, "Goodnight, Butterfly!"

"Goodnight, Thomas." I planted a kiss on his chubby cheek.

I could hear him giggle behind me as I strode down the corridor. It made me incredibly happy to bring such effortless joy to someone.

When I made it back to Lady Eliza's suite my knees finally gave out and I caught myself along the wall with my right hand. The weight in my left reminding me of the gift and the file I had received from Joker. I still hadn't peered at the folder's contents.

Setting the box down on the carpet I kneeled with the folder in my lap. I undid the latch at the top and pulled several papers from inside. My blood instantly ran cold as I flipped them over to the front, reading, "Grant Pendragon"

 _My father_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I managed to squeeze in time to add yet, another chapter! I also really love writing this and I hope you guys continue to read it feeling the same. :) I want to thank you all for the support and interest. Please keep it coming! Hopefully I can add another chapter soon as well.
> 
> Stay tuned!


	6. Tired of Singing the Blues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I've got a special long chapter update. Definitely an interesting one, especially at the end. ;) So please read through and review! You don't know how much I appreciate your feedback and kudos.
> 
> Thank you so much!

" _You bullshit it all before, now, you trying to sell me more, babe_

 _Man who makes a beast out of himself got nothing to lose_  
 _Sold my soul long ago, nothing left to choose_  
 _I'm tired, tired of singing the blues_  
 _I'm tired_  "

\- Lana Del Rey " _Tired of Singing the Blues_ "

* * *

I could still vividly remember the night I hunted down Donnie.

The heated argument that ensued, the wrestling, the knives, the blood splatter. It's true what they say, you never forget your first kill.

I recalled waking up in my own bed after he had injected me with the mysterious liquid. And I would have thought the whole ordeal a bad dream had it not been for the deep ache in my neck.

Rubbing the tender area, I lifted myself from my mattress towards the hallway bathroom. Standing before the mirror, to my horror, a bluish-purple bruise was forming. The sudden impact of the needle flooded back to my memory.

Everything had been  _very_  real.

Shortly after that, I was dressed and out the door. I remember feeling everything at once. Anger, sadness, despair, curiosity,  _hate._ I felt hate the most. He betrayed me in a worst way, altering my body forever. He had no right. He took advantage of my unconditional love and made me into an unconditional doormat. It was becoming harder for me to believe he ever cared at all.

The stride to his home is still a little fuzzy. Probably because I spent most of it in shock, brooding over all the things we had shared and would never share again. I had no real plan other than to confront him as to why and  _what_  he had done to me. I couldn't deny that I still loved him, of course. Something like that doesn't just go away.

However, that didn't detract from the disgust boiling at the pit of my stomach.

Reaching the entrance to his home I found his front door unlocked. Despite being absolutely mad, Donnie was able to maintain a relatively normal suburban life. He had his neighbors fooled into thinking he did some innocent desk work at the laboratory. That he joyously handed out candy to children around Halloween and sat at a round table with all of his family on Thanksgiving. Or erected a Christmas tree with popcorn and lights, opening presents from those whom he held dear.

Donnie pulled the wool over their eyes, but not mine.

I remembered closing the door as silently as possible behind me as I advanced into the oddly dark home. The moon was almost full that night so I used what silver rays peeked through his windows to follow his trail into the kitchen.

He stood there, with a glass of half empty wine at his fingertips, tapping. The rage inside me grew at how casual his silhouette appeared. As if nothing had happened between us. As if he hadn't just cut and pasted my life to fit his own design.

My fists clenched, "Donnie."

I couldn't see it, but I sensed he was smirking. All the marbles in his jar, lost. "Olive, you seem well."

I flipped the light on to see he had turned to face me. "No more games, Donald."

"Hmph." he thought aloud. "You only call me Donald when you're mad."

"Ya think?" My left fist grazed the counter top.

He held his free hand up in front of him. "Olive, just think. You don't even know what's been done to you."

"That's why I'm here!" I seethed.

Donnie cradled the glass between his fingers. "You are now a scientific wonder. Our golden ticket, sweetheart."

"Screw your golden ticket!" I slammed my fist down with animosity. He had made me some kind of freak without my permission.

"Our." He tried to correct me.

"No,  _your!_ " I began to weep as both of my hands met the counter top. I suddenly felt everything I was living for was a lie. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"Olive, baby." He slimmed his way over wrapping an arm around my waist. "Think of the wonders you can do now. The amazing gift I've given you."

His breath was hot on my ear as I felt myself systematically relaxing under it. Then I realized he had a hand reaching for something beyond me. My eyes grew wide when my reflexes faltered to prevent him from gabbing my left wrist.

Hovering a knife over it, he boasted, "Let me show you just how special I've made you."

I screamed as he brought the knife down at an angle against my pale wrist, slicing backwards. To my horror I watched a red liquid trickle on to the linoleum. My head whirling with so many questions that I'd never get answers to. My body cringing into his tall frame.

"Look, Olive!" he shouted. "Look!"

My vision was blurred by hot tears streaming down my face. I was truly terrified by the events that had unfolded before me. By how quickly you think you know somebody for two years only to wearily conclude that you must have always been on their roster of guinea pigs.

"Olive!" he shouted again.

I looked this time. I looked and saw that the blood from my wrist had slowly stopped emerging from the open wound. I gawked as the painful cut began to heal itself. It was like watching someone rewind a movie reel and in that moment I could feel nothing but wonderment.

It was fascinating the way the skin receded in on itself. Yet, something about it made me feel inhuman. Like one of those things where you see it happen to someone else and think, it's not so bad. It can't be as terrible as they think. But when it happens to you, it's unbelievable. You think, how could this have happened to me?

This posed so many more questions but my heart was filled to the brim with rage. In one quick motion I swiped the knife from his hand and stabbed him in the shoulder. I had had enough.

He retracted from me, surprised. Good. I wanted to be unpredictable.

Grabbing another knife from the holder I turned to throw it his way. I only caught a slice of his neck but it was enough to make him understand that I did not share his dreams. Not anymore.

"Bastard." I cursed under my breath, reaching for another sharp utensil.

"Now, Liv, listen to me." His hand was on his neck.

But I had made up my mind, I could never forgive him. He had become the unforgivable so I threw another his direction, catching his forearm he out stretched. I was quite good for an amateur.

He was calling out declarations of love and how much he was only thinking of our future. How  _sorry_  he truly was…but I was already seeing red. If throwing them wasn't doing the trick, I'd grip one so tightly and jam it repeatedly into his soft flesh.

Which I did, seventy-two more times.

When my father had eventually arrived, since I had called him, I remembered how his face distorted into repugnance then tenacity as he gazed upon Donnie's dead body. Hearing out my cries of why I had done it and what he had done to me convinced my father to pledge that if he had known, he would have killed him himself. That's when my father decide that becoming a crooked cop was better than watching his little girl go unjustly to jail. They'd never understand the way he did.

So he called in a select few from his office to handle the situation discretely. Made Donnie's death look like an accident.

"He had too much too drink and fell asleep with the cigarette in his hand. A few minutes later, the whole place went up. His consistent work must have made him extremely tired." He told the news.

And it was all believable, every word. From the alcohol content in his blood to the nicotine on his lips, the toxic report was flawless…with minor changes. Donnie's body had burned for about an hour and half before other police were notified. When the autopsy was preformed the first report noted he had multiple stab wounds. The report that Joker had somehow gotten a hold of. The second and final report stated he had died an accidental death.

My father had paid the mortician off well.

I can recall dreading turning on the t.v. only to see Donnie's story haunting me from the colored screen. They painted him a humble, suburban man who loved liquor and cigarettes a little too much. I was surprised most people were satisfied with this untimely end. Nobody question what I was up to or even who I was for that matter.

Had Donnie not spoken of me as much as I thought? It just felt like another nail in the coffin.

Then three days later, I received the news that I still believed was karma for what I had done.

I had locked myself in my room the last three days that Donnie's face was all over the news. Pretending like I was still grieving. That's when the phone call arrived. My father had been out doing his normal duty patrols. Perusing around town.

This was something that was routine for his line of work. He had been doing it since my parents were married. Albeit, even when my mother left, he still did it. All he wanted out of life at that point was to protect his only child.

However, this particular night ended tragically. I can still envision the call.

"Hello?" I answered nervously, knowing that it was the station calling.

"Miss Pendragon?"

"Y-yes, this is she."

I couldn't see the officer on the phone but I could sense his frown. "Miss Pendragon, I'm calling you with some bad news…your fathers had an incident."

My breath hitched, "What do you mean?"

"Well…" he seemed very reluctantly to tell me the truth but it was his duty after all. I was the only known kin. "Your father, well, he…well…he's dead."

Running my tongue over my teeth I could remember how they clenched trying to prevent the tears from spilling over.

"What?" I asked, breathlessly.

"I'm sorry Miss Pendragon. I need to ask you to come down to the morgue to identify the body. Just for clarification."

I couldn't stand another word, so I hung up. What did they mean dead? My father had been an investigator for twenty years. How could this have happened?

Regardless of my insides screaming denial, I made my way to the morgue. They told me their mumbo jumbo about how it was a suicide and asked me if there had been any other recent troubles at home besides my mom dipping out. I argued, denying that my father would ever kill himself over such a petty thing and that they must be mistaken. Though they assured me thoroughly that the evidence they had found concluded he had pulled the trigger.

And if it wasn't for this little tid bit of documentation in front of me, I might have believed that for the rest of my life. That the guilt of covering up Donnie's murder had become too much for him.

Scanning my eyes over the paperwork again there was no doubt what had really happened.

I was glaring into the abyss of the hallway, my whole body shaking. I was all too familiar with this fury and right now, I had to make a decision. I could slip back into Lady Eliza's condo mulling over a better course of action or I could meet that asshole tonight to set the record straight.

I glanced down at the sleek box laying on the ground. The contents inside of it hummed to me. Gripping the gift, I stood up and turned a heel away from the burlesque queen's abode. I was going to finished this tonight.

It didn't matter anymore what was to happen. My father had been murdered because of me. I was foolish to have ever involved him. I should have just let myself rot in Blackgate.

Not that I actually could.

I chuckled to myself, taking the elevator down to the main floor. It wasn't always like me to find humor in such deplorable things. Ever since I met The Joker my sanity seemed to slip away from me piece by piece. It was like shedding a second skin as a reptile would. Slowly leaving my old self behind.

Although I'd been teetering on the sane and insane for some time after the events of three years ago. Angelo had been my only saving grace…but not anymore.

Despite being told that this was a "safe" place I managed to walk out of the building surprisingly with ease. I had wondered if the guards I saw all worked for the Clown Prince fully knowing this is what Joker was anticipating. The final straw to break the camel's back.

Not even ten minutes later I found myself standing very still in front of Angelo's club. It must have been almost two in the morning by this point but a few lights were still on. Angelo would definitely still be here.

I opened and discarded the black box of balisongs after placing them halfway into my thigh-high stockings. Then with a deep breath I pushed open the double doors to the club. The first person to greet me was none other than my faithful bodyguard, Arnie.

He looked a little startled, "Miss Butterfly?"

I gave him a hard look, "I need to speak with Angelo. Where is he?"

The buff man eyed the folder within my hands, seemingly catching a glimpse of something else. "You need those to speak with him?" He pointed to the new balisongs lining the rim of my right stocking.

I gave him a look, smirking, "I  _always_  carry knives, Arn."

"Nothing like that, ya don't." He countered. "Where'd you get 'em? What happened to the old ones?"

He was really trying my patience. "Where is Angelo?"

"Answer the question, Miss Pendragon."

"Why?! You haven't answered any of mine!" I inched my left fingers towards my blades. If he wanted to dance, we could dance.

Immediately he detected this and made the mistake of lunging for me. I quickly side stepped him using the back of my heel to jam into his knee, bringing him down to them. In the same motion I wrapped behind him coiling a butterfly knife at his throat. He may have been burly but I was small and lithe.

All of the self defense I had learned while I was here had definitely paid off. I didn't want to feel like a victim anymore so Angelo took it upon himself to teach me how to fight. I'm even sure I learned a few moves from Arnie himself. Each of Angelo's top henchmen had a different set of skills.

Not throwing knives, however. That was a skill I refined on my own.

The two other guards that were with Arnie started making their way towards me. I pressed the cold steel against his skin. "Come any closer and I'll slit his throat!"

The guards didn't seem to heed my warning and instead, drew their guns. I laughed, "You and I both know shooting me won't do any of you lugs any favors."

I heard them cock their guns and I prepared to run my blade clear across Arnie's jugular but a loud voice halted the action.

"Hold it!" It was Angelo himself, escorted by another set of guards. The henchmen lowered their guns.

He looked absolutely bewildered at the scene before him. "What the  _hell_  is going on?!"

I kicked Arnie face first onto the floor. He made a nice thud. "I want to talk to you."

Angelo stood a few feet away from me now, folding his hands in front of him. "Why? What's up? Why aren't you at the condo?"

I felt my hold on the folder tighten. "I need to talk to you… _now_."

All four henchmen's shoulder stiffened, ready for round two. Angelo waved a hand at them. "About what?"

"This!" I let the folder flop inside my shaking fist as I held it up.

Angelo's eyes seemed to grow dark. "What is that, Olive?"

"To me, it was a gift." I tilted my head and rolled my jaw. "For you….well…."

This caught his upmost attention. "Step into my office."

The henchmen seemed reluctant to let me through but Angelo promised them that everything would be fine. He could take care of this.

I wasn't so convinced.

When we reached his familiar office he asked for his men to wait outside. They went to protest but he silenced them with just one, mean look. "I don't tell you how to take care of your family. Ya gonna come in here and tell me how to take care of mine?"

Of course the answer was no and they backed off. Angelo sat at his desk as I closed the heavy door behind us. I slammed the folder down in front of him, retreating away. He just stared at me.

"It's funny how you called us  _family_." I remarked.

"You are."

"I'm  _not_. Not anymore." My voice shook, threatening to crack.

"You don't want to do this, Olive." He said, a forewarning in his tone.

"Look at it." He attempted to argue but I was having none of it. "Look at it damnit!" I was pointing to the file.

He huffed as he opened the folder, skimming through it's contents. I could see his expression turn very grave as he continued. My heart pulsed with adrenaline. I wanted to right the wrong that was done to my father. For him  _and_ me.

"Where did you get this?" Angelo asked in a drawn out mumble.

"You wanted it too, didn't you?" I avoided his question.

" _Where_  did you get this, Olive?!" His voice had risen.

"Did you pay them off, Rouse? Did you?!"

Angelo jumped up from his chair, "Like your father paid them off!"

"This is different!" I yelled back. "You knew he was my father this entire time!"

The tall man made a grimace before swiping a fist against his desk. He propped himself at his window with both of his fore arms leaning on either side of the sill. "That goddamn clown."

I paced myself forward. "Tell me," I calmly stated. "tell me all of it."

Angelo turned from the window, running a hand over his scruffy chin. "Alright." He finally agreed. "Donnie wasn't one of my men but he'd work for whoever could pay him well." He rested against the front of his oak desk. "I've got a lot of birdies, as you know, and one of 'em told me about this serum Donnie was working on."

Angelo's hands became very animated. "I mean, imagine, a nearly perfect antidote to death! A serum that could make a guy like me unstoppable."

Quite frankly, I  _could_  actually imagine it. He saw the distain in my face. "Not to you, Olive. You're a good girl. That's why it happened to you."

I crossed my arms, "Go on."

He looked sadden by my disinterest in his compliments. He sighed, "Welp, we offered Donnie a profit for a cut of the antidote. The greedy son of a bitch didn't even think twice. Even though most of his funds came from clown face." Angelo shook his head. "Needless to say, a few days later Dr. Freud turns up dead."

I raised an eyebrow, "And?"

He was hesitating to tell me but eventually did. "And well, we could tell everything had been meddled with." He looked me dead in the eye. "And you  _know_  I don't like meddlers. I gave Donnie a lot of money that I'll never see again and that's losing out on a profit. I'm not kind to people who fuck with my business."

"And what do you think The Joker would have done had he found out sooner that you were  _meddling_  in his business, huh?"

Angelo pointed his index at me, "By the time that freak figured anything out it wouldn't have even mattered. He'd have had his dose of the serum by then. Why the fuck would he care about what happens after that?"

The disgust I was feeling before reemerged, "Because it's  _stealing_."

The tall man in front of me laughed, "Stealing? I think that's up for Donnie to decided."

I stayed silent, waiting for him to finish. "Anyway, I got ahold of the old reports and the new reports. Put two and two together and linked it to Detective Pendragon. You're father." He held his hands before him. "I swear to you, Olive, that I never would have guessed he was protecting you. I didn't know anything about you! Or what Donald had done. In your father's last moments he stuck to his story that it was him that murdered Dr. Freud. He took the fall."

I could feel my face distort as I tried to hold back the tears. "How could you even look me in the eye?!"

Angelo looked taken aback, "How could I look you in the eye? Liv, that's why I took you in!"

"Bullshit!" I screamed.

"It's not!" He yelled.

"I can  _never_  forgive you." I shook in a dangerously low tone. Then I went for the door, ready to leave. I learned all I needed to know.

In a fit, he grabbed my arm and tugged me back. "You ungrateful bitch!"

I reached for a knife with my free hand, slicing at him. It only caught his cheek as his other hand twisted my wrist. The balisong clunked to the carpet. He pinned me to the paneled wall.

"You think that clown's gonna take care of you? Huh? Have you seen what he's done to Dr. Quinnzel? You want that kind of life, Liv?!" He spat in my face, holding my arms down.

"It has nothing to do with him!" I raged.

"It has  _everything_  to do with him!" As he was roaring back I took this opportunity to knee him in the balls. An under handed move, I know, but I was done with his patronizing. I was doing this for me, not Joker.

Angelo collapsed backwards into his rectangular desk. I smoothed out the hem of my dress and shook my summer locks about. He appeared to be heaving quite a bit.

I leaned in to whisper, "This is good-bye,  _forever_."

And as I stepped out of the room to leave I heard Angelo say smugly, "You'll regret it."

 _No, you will_. I thought, brushing past his henchmen. I grabbed my long peacoat I had left there earlier and kept a confident stride all the way to the exit. Arnie wasn't on the floor anymore when I passed by. I assumed they probably had him at the bar, tending to his wound. I did feel a little bad.

Maybe one day I'd make it up to him.

It was almost three and I found myself seated at the counter of the nearest diner, a coffee between my fingertips. The older waitress seemed to understand that I was under some kind of duress. She had beckoned me to the counter with a pot of coffee in her wrinkled hand.

"The first ones on the house, honey." She winked a tired eye.

I thanked her, appreciative of the small comfort she offered me. I sat for what felt like hours at her counter replaying everything in my mind. It was still pretty hard to grasp that Angelo was the one who murdered my father. To stomach to think that from day one he knew whose daughter I was. He even listened to me tell the terrifying tale and how my father was basically my savior with a straight face.

I finished my first cup and ordered another. When the old waitress set my coffee down I started to feel an unusual vibrating from my coat pocket. Confused, I slipped my hand in, pulling out a phone.

This phone wasn't mine but someone was calling it. I never really owned a phone after I joined Angelo. I never really needed one.

I noticed the waitress looking at me expectantly. To avoid being suspicious, I answered it. "Hello?"

"My, my what a scene we've got here." A familiar voice cackled. "Angelo's seen better days, I'm sure. But what would a  _freak_ like me know?"

I instantly knew it was Joker but I couldn't say it out loud. "What do you mean?"

The voice turned dark, "Why don't you see for yourself?"

Then he hung up.

I was trembling so hard I couldn't even manage to drink my coffee. I hurriedly excused myself and ran out onto the street. From where I was standing I could see red and blue lights flashing in the direction of Angelo's club. My heart stuck in my throat.

What had he done?

I wasted no time running towards the entrance of the club before rounding a corner and stopping dead in my tracks. A small crowd had gathered around the main side of the building. It appeared to consist of police, reporters, and a few passersby.

When I inched closer I witnessed a gurney being wheeled out of the night club, the arm of the body hung lazily off to the side. There was no mistaking that specific Rolex. It was definitely Angelo and he was definitely dead.

My hands covered my mouth as I back away from the growing buzz. The initial shock was washing over me and yet, as my eyes tried to focus, I could feel a sense of justice looming in the shadows of my brain. I was sad but I was happy.

I recognized that he had taken care of me for the last three years but I also came to terms that it was his own doing that I even had to be cared for in the first place. My thoughts combatted each other like this for a few more seconds before nulling each other out completely, and I felt nothing.

My fingers lowered to my sides as my face took a more monotone expression. The presence that now waltzed steadily behind me snaked a hand in mine placing an object inside it. Without looking, I traced my fingers over the handle just as I had done in suite 208. It was a butterfly.

A venomous breathe tickled my ear in what I could only visualize a devious, painted grin.

"Changed your mind?"


	7. Gods & Monsters

" _In the land of Gods and Monsters_

_I was an Angel_   
_Living in the garden of evil_   
_Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed_   
_Shining like a fiery beacon_

_You got that medicine I need_  
 _Fame, Liquor, Love give it to me slowly_ "

\- Lana Del Rey " _Gods & Monsters_"

* * *

I found myself crouching in an alleyway, sobbing.

I wasn't too sure when it all had hit me. One moment, I was walking with my arm entwined to Joker's and the next I was dashing into this narrow side street. It felt like someone was standing on my chest.

In my peripheral I saw the clown's slim frame lean against the brick, crossing his arms in annoyance. I'm sure he had better things to do than watch a sad little singer bawl her eyes out. Even if he did have something to do with it.

He let me cry though, not uttering a word.

It must of went on like that for a few minutes. I couldn't escape the pain that was surfacing. I mourned for father, for Arnie, for Donnie, and maybe even a little for Angelo. The clown was never quite clear on how he had done it. From what I could gather, it was my understanding that he'd been following me since we parted ways at the condo.

I began to wipe the tears and snot from my face, standing to look at him.

"Are you finished?" He inquired listlessly.

I nodded, smiling. "Yeah." I could see my sleeves were smeared with eye make-up. I must have been a sight.

Joker rolled his eyes peeking his head around the corner of the building. "Looks like our ole' boys in blue are heading this way." His blue hues adjusted beyond me. "We'll cut through here."

He promptly grabbed my left wrist and pulled me down the stretch of alley. His other hand fiddle in his suit pants pocket for his cellular. I watched him speed dial in a number only to converse with whom I assumed was his getaway car.  _Our_  getaway car.

I let that sink in for a moment. I was now an accomplice. Angelo's words haunted me,  _"You think that clown's gonna take care of you?"_

I mean, he has so far. For his own benefit, of course.

_"_ _You want that kind of life, Liv?"_

Well, I'm not sure anymore. What kind of life did I have before? And I suppose after all is said and done and I've sang at his event he won't have much use for me. What do I have then?

My troubled thoughts were interrupted by Joker shoving me into the back of a vehicle.

"Get in." he gruffly commanded, following suit behind me. Once we were settled he waved a gloved hand in the direction of the henchman behind the wheel. "Drive."

We sped off into the wakes of dawn. The rising sun casted blue shadows throughout Gotham. I loved early mornings like this. I could still imagine the chill of autumn touching my fair skin even with the windows up. It made me shiver.

I was suddenly very aware of a pair of eyes on me. I opened my own to see Joker staring with an expression I couldn't quite place. Something between disgust and confusion.

"I love the Fall." I blurted, not meaning to. He obviously had no idea what I was talking about. I was becoming delirious with fatigue.

He averted his eyes away and out his window. "For now, I'm going to put you up in a motel. It's not somewhere I would have personally chosen but it's convenient and available and right where I need you to be." He licked his lips sneering at me. "Besides, I'm sure you are  _more_  than familiar with motels by this juncture of your life."

I believe he was trying to insult me but I was too tired to care. I giggled, resting my head against the glass. "I think you've mistaken me for a call girl instead of a jazz singer, Mister J."

He chuckled, "Tends to be the same thing."

 _Touché._  Most entertainers were lonely and desperate, I was just lonely and bored. I sighed, drawing small circles on the window. "Sadly, I'm just a girl wracking up a body count."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, well if you think about it, Donnie's, Angelo's, and my father's deaths all happened because of me. It's rather upsetting."

Curiosity filled his eyes, "But you don't seem all that upset by it."

I laid my head back onto the leather seat. I was literally speaking out of shear exhaustion now. "I am. I've just accepted it. I guess you were right, we all have a dark side. You either fight it or embrace it."

He tutted under his breathe and from the corner of my eye I could have sworn I saw a small genuine smile tug at his lips. It was hard to tell, however, as he curled a hand in front of his mouth gazing out his window. Shortly thereafter, I nodded off.

When I awoke, the vehicle was still in motion. My eyes adjusted to the scenery around me realizing that we were now near the water. I looked over to my right to address the clown but he wasn't there. A panic rapidly set in as I reached for the driver's seat.

"Excuse me! Where are we going?" I asked frantically.

The driver lifted his shades into the rear view mirror, "Motel."

"I know  _that."_ I reiterated. "Where is Joker?"

The man focused back on the road. "He had somewhere to be, Miss. Very important things to do." He smiled crookedly.

I let out an exasperated sigh as I fell into my seat.  _Of course._  The urgent fear slowly subsided within my chest. I was almost convinced he had set me up again.

I spent the next week mostly hiding out in my shabby abode. Mister J was partial right, this place was definitely not fit for first class, like himself. But for a small town girl like me, as long as it wasn't crawling with bugs, it was just fine.

The room basked in 1960's glory. It was drenched in rich hues of reds and browns. A plaid comforter graced the single bed. A few tawny chairs angled towards a round, oak table. The carpet was scratchy and rough. Even the coffee maker looked outdated.

I could confidentially say that the only updated object in this room was the 20'' flat screen sitting atop the walnut dresser. Which had basic cable, mind you.

To pass the time while I was stuck there I made one small request for a laptop of sorts to practice my setlist…and an acoustic. Although Joker didn't deliver them personally, he granted my wish. Tommy had been the one to deliver it with glee. He relayed the message that The Joker had found my request reasonable as he wanted me to be "top-notch" at his event Saturday evening.

This small compliment, whether intended or not, started a small fire under my ass. My set was to be an hour long designated in the middle hours of the engagement. Before and after me was just a normal live band. So to fit the mood and give variety, I planned out a list of covers ranging between the 1930's and early 1960's. Something people could continue dancing too.

On the day of the event, two henchmen had arrived at around 3pm to check me out of the little motel. I was placed in another random vehicle and carted over to the docks. Upon arrival, I was greeted by a massive cruise ship. My stomach immediately sank. I had never been on a ship before.

I must have been staring for a long moment because I could hear the driver remind me that he had arrived at our destination. I quickly regathered my self and stepped out of the vehicle. The sea breeze instantly carried my hair behind me. The air was much chillier closer to the water.

Rubbing my arms for warmth, I was guided by the second henchmen up the ramp and onto the ship. It was really like nothing I had seen before. There were so many staff members running about the corridors in preparation for the event.

I touched the wood paneling in the hall as the henchman continued to lead me forward. Everything was so clean and pristine. It was a welcomed change from the outdated motel room I had been living in for the past week.

Then we entered the grand ballroom and I immediately felt like I was home. My jaw unhinged at the luxuriously decorated room. Gold littered the ceilings and floors. It crept into the furniture while champagnes flowed with the curtains of the main stage and mingled with the walls. It had been my dream to preform amidst such plush beauty.

I could see it now; People dressed to the nines. Woman in multicolored, fitted dresses that sparkled under the chandelier light. Men in black and tie affair. They'd take their ladies delicately by the hand, spinning them in a waltz. And for those who were single, they'd clammer to the bar for cocktails and wine. Toasting to whatever felt appropriate for the mood that night.

I sighed, climbing the side stage stairs. How could I have almost passed up such an opportunity? Sure Joker was known to be a cruel man but no one could deny he had taste. He had class. And surely he understood that sometimes you had to entertain your business partners.

The henchman led me to a quaint dressing room just behind the stage. It had a high vanity mirror with a velvet red chair to sit. For what it lacked in space it was built with multitudes of shelving and it had already been filled with different garments, shoes, and accessories.

I let my fingertips trace a midnight blue dress.

"That's not for you." The henchman grumbled. I took a step back. He pointed to a rectangular box sitting atop the vanity's desk. "That's for you."

My eyes went wide as I read the expensive designer written on the box. "This must be a mistake…"

"No mistake." He assured me. "The boss said you can pick from the lot of shoes but he thinks you'd like the silver ones best." Then he winked and left the room.

I now noticed the silver heels next to the box. They had a slight shimmer to them. I opened the package to reveal a pale pink dress then looked back to the shoes and back again. Hm, once again, he was right.

The dress was absolutely stunning as I twirled in it. It was an off the shoulder beaut with lace trimmings. I might have even liked it more than my silver number.

I settled myself into the velvet chair. A small mantle clock sat on a dresser adjacent from me. It was now three forty and the party started at six. So I had approximately two hours to finish my attire for the evening.

Gazing into the mirror, I decided it would be easier to do my hair in light waves so as not to waste anymore time than needed. Accompanying it with a lighter eye look and bold lip, I was beginning to feel like a real aristocrat.

While I was finishing up, I hummed some of the tunes I had on my setlist, swaying back and forth in the standing mirror. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered in glorious anticipation. Which had reminded me….

I reached into a duffle bag I acquired when I was delivered clothes and toiletries at the motel. I pulled from it a few of my gifted blades. They fit nice and snug in the top lining of my thigh-high stockings. I made sure they were hidden on the side of the dress where a slit wasn't present. I obviously didn't want anyone to notice.

Then suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I felt a pain in my heart as I thought of Arnie. "Who is it?"

"Miss Pendragon? The boss is expecting you out on the floor." A voice that sounded similar to the henchman from before said.

I glanced at the clock, 6:03. Shit, had that much time already passed? I smoothed out my dress, calling, "Coming right out!"

I ran to the door as fast as humanly possible in heels and sure enough, it was the goon from before waiting to escort me to the ballroom. "Sorry 'bout that." I gave him my best smile.

He had no reaction, naturally. Aside from Tommy it appeared that all of Joker's henchmen had a case of stone face. Which probably meant they were ruthless killers. Hardened criminals.

It was intimidating to say the least.

As we made our way through the now open curtain stage, I could see the grand room filling up with bodies. It was  _almost_  like I imagined. Taking the steps down I noticed that people were certainly dressed to their nines. Emphasis on  _their_. You could tell that this was a room full of skeezy criminals and that most of the women beside them were  _not_  their wives.

I wasn't going to let that break my spirit, however. I still had a show to put on. Despite the sleaze balls.

For the first half of the night, I hadn't seen Joker at all. Which didn't bother me much. I figured he had this party for a reason and that reason was probably all business. So like the single gal I am, I found myself gravitating towards the bar.

The two bartenders were dainty girls with cutesy clown make-up in red, glittery mini dresses. They were always sporting huge smiles and giggling at the vulgar compliments they received from some of the lowlife patrons. Hats off to you girls.

I was tended by the one with the purple hair thrown up in a messy bun.

"Ah, you must be Chrysalis. Cute." She laughed. "All drinks are on the house tonight, of course. So what would you like, sugar?"

I made a small groan at the nickname. I guess it wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Then I ordered an apple martini. I wanted to up keep the fancy facade.

From my stool I watched everyone else mingle about. Most of them either drank fast or pre-gamed before this shindig. Already there were broads falling all over themselves or clinging to their meal ticket of the night. It made me feel a bit queasy.

After two more drinks and a few unwelcome conversations with degenerates I decided I wanted to take a stroll around this mass gathering. The live band was kicking it up on stage as people hopped about in an ungraceful manner. I was sure to circle the outskirts of the dancing.

As I came to a corner that met the stage my eyes drifted towards a secluded table nestled a bit back. I could see several people laughing and cheers with each other. A very animated blonde appeared to be bopping all around with excitement next to an electric green haired fella I knew well. She wrapped a drunk arm around his neck and kissed him on the cheek, giggling some more.

Mister J seemed in good spirits as he joined in on her laughter. That must have been Harley again. I recognized the blue and red tips only her hair wasn't in pigtails, it was curled. She cleaned up almost as nice as Mister J.

I stared for a few more moments before familiar blue hues locked onto mine. His grin immediately shifted wider. I felt my face flush with embarrassment as I turned away quickly, walking back to the bar.

There, I took note that a golden blonde had taken up a stool next to mine. I sat down beside her, remembering her face. "Hey now, aren't you that reporter?"

She looked at me with a sly smile. It was definitely her. "So what if I am? You gonna rat me out?"

I sniggered, "No! Hell if I care." I could feel the alcohol working its magic.

She kept smiling at me while stirring her drink with a tiny straw. "Not many reporters get opportunities like this. I had to get an inside look."

"Well this is it." I was handed another martini without even having to ask. "Extravagant parties for the less moral." I giggled.

Her face frowned a bit, "Are you one of those with less morals?"

I paused for a second. I really wasn't sure how to answer that. I guess the correct answer would be "yes" because I have killed someone. Thinking about it, I wasn't any better than the other gangsters in here.

"I don't know." My mouth said despite the dispute in my brain. "I'm undecided. You?"

She laughed, "I'm a reporter."

"Touché." I chuckled along with her, clinking our drinks together.

"I'm Olive." I offered a hand to hers.

She gave it a small shake, "Debra."

I almost snorted martini out of my nose. "Debra? Sounds to old of a name for a pretty girl like you." I teased.

"That's what I thought but I didn't really have that chance to name myself, did I?" She winked.

"Well, better than Barbara, I suppose. Always better than Barbara."

We laughed in unison.

A few more minutes went by as we chatted about our discrepancies between us and the sleazy people aboard this ship. We were certainly making fast friends. Actually, she was probably the only woman I had ever met that I was so open with. Well, as open as could be, of course.

Suddenly, one of Joker's henchmen approached me at the bar. "Miss Pendragon, you're set is about to begin in five minutes."

A huge grin spread over my face. I turned to Deb, "That's right, I'm singing tonight. I do hope you'll enjoy it." I cooed, sliding from my stool. "It was nice meeting you, Debra."

She mimicked the small wave I gave her, "You too."

My heart felt very full and I was happy I had made a friend. I really did hope she stuck around after my performance. I wanted to talk more about her career and what she's witnessed first hand. What a fascinating life she must lead.

As I took the stage a bubble of nervousness gripped my abdomen. There were about the same amount of people here as there were on a packed night at Angelo's. The only difference was, was that I wasn't surrounded by any familiar faces.

Well, all except one.

My fingers curled around the mic staring directly at Joker's pale visage. Harley was clinging to his arm with a champagne flute between her fingers. She looked to be whispering in his ear.

I inhaled deeply as I cued the music. My nervousness evaded me turning into something else entirely. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. It roared like fire and burned with unfamiliar intent.

He pivoted his face, stroking Harleen's chin as he whispered back. I needed him to look at me. No, I  _wanted_  him to look.

I let my voice echo through the microphone, staying in tune with the music. The room fell silent as everyone listened to these bluesy notes escape my throat. Then people began to fall into the groove of the dance. Those blue hues fixated on me.

I felt a sense of satisfaction. For what, I wasn't exactly sure but it felt good.

My eyes caught Harley shimmying in her seat, enjoying herself. She was clapping her hands and singing along to the well known tune. I internally shamed myself for feeling so childish. What did any of it even matter?

I focused on my next four songs trying to shake this strange sensation inside of me. Harley continued her silly little movements while Joker kept his eyes glued to me. Just as he had at the night club. As for Debra, I couldn't seem to locate her anywhere.

I began to close out my performance with a slower rendition of "Johnny Angel". I'm not exactly sure why I had picked this song but I poured my heart and soul into practicing it all week and I was more than pleased with the results. Couples began to slow dance, turning the atmosphere intimate.

By this point, I had stopped stealing glances at the clown. I let my soul guide me through the rhythm of the melody. I was almost at the last verse before ear piercing sounds cut the music short.

Gun shots.

I became absolutely petrified as I watched a hoard of men in masks fire at the guests on the ballroom floor. People were dropping like flies, gurgling screams. It was an absolute blood bath.

Amidst the chaos I could pick out a very distinct chortling from the right side of the stage. I knew exactly who it belonged to as I raised a trembling eye to meet his. His laughter doubled with the rising death toll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are still enjoying this story! Side note, the next chapter is going to be rated M for more mature content but I'll have another warning accompanying that when it's posted. I've decided instead of rating the whole story M, because it's really not, I'll just rate some bits that come up here and there. So definitely stay tuned for that.  
> Thank you! :)


	8. Ultraviolence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter DOES contain a bit of non-con at a certain point. So if you are triggered by this, then please by all means, skip this chapter. This is my shortest chapter yet only because I want make it where if some people do have to skip, they can do so without missing out on too much storyline.
> 
> People may argue, then why bother writing it but I personally feel it's an important part of Olive's personal downfall and the mindset of someone who is manipulated and abused. I told you this story would descend into madness, so please continue reading at your own risk.
> 
> THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M!

" _Cause I'm your jazz singer_  
 _And you're my cult leader_  
 _I love you forever,_  
 _I love you forever_

 _This is ultraviolence_  
 _Ultraviolence_  
 _Ultraviolence_  
 _Ultraviolence_  
 _I can hear sirens, sirens_  
 _He hit me and it felt like a kiss_ "

\- Lana Del Rey " _Ultraviolence_ "

* * *

My hands cupped my ears as the gun shots continued to rain out.

It felt like everything in those few seconds had slowed to a stagnant pace. I could no longer watch as the bodies of guests fell limply too the floor. Their lifeless eyes vacantly searching mine.

There were so many things I wanted to do but I found myself glued to that single spot on stage. Afraid that if I moved, I'd be gunned down too.

And that laughing, oh that laughing!

Joker was uncontrollably howling with his manic pet. Their combined giggling pierced through my brain like a migraine. Drilling the satisfaction and control of it into the crevices.

Why was I consistently so naive?

My stomach began to gurgle. The blood splatter that covered the ballroom wafted into the air. The pungency filled my nostrils coating my throat and traveled down into my belly. It swirled with all of the martinis I consumed earlier making a dangerous concoction that threatened to resurface.

Finally, the gun fire ended as I covered my mouth with my left hand. My breathing went ragged. I could only focus on my silver heels while I quivered with unabashed fear. I could not stay here.

I felt my insides reel. Without looking up, I made a mad sprint towards the left side of the stage. The only sounds echoing besides the throaty laughter were the clicks of my shoes. I immediately heard one chuckle die out as I exited.

However, I knew better than to turn around. I kept a fast pace to my dressing room locking the door behind me after I entered. My stomach couldn't hold it any longer. I stumbled to the waste basket puking pure liquid. It sent me a haughty reminder that I hadn't eaten all night. My insides groaned.

I gagged making more come up. I was lost in a moment of spit and tears as I tried to collect myself from the carpet. My fingertips reached for the tissue box atop the vanity desk. When I managed to snag one, I promptly wiped my mouth and spat any excess into the bin. My throat was hot and dry.

Suddenly, there was a great pounding followed by a frantic twist of the knob at the door.

"Chrysalis!" A voice growled.

It was something I had never heard before. The tone was very angry laced with what sounded like disappointment. I had this utter dread wash over me that these may very well be my last moments on this Earth. My fingers reached for a balisong.

After the doorknob rattled a second it was pushed open cautiously by the crazy clown himself. The look on his face, heated. "Did you not appreciate my joke, little bug?"

I couldn't tsteady the shaking. I was absolutely terrified. He tossed whatever he had had in his hand to jimmy the lock and closed it behind him, locking it again. Noticing this, I mustered the courage to grip the handle of one of my knives.

His menacing gaze met my frightened one. He tutted, making plodding steps in my direction. "I don't like girls who can't take a good joke. Especially  _mine_."

I threw the knife at him, aiming for his face. He barely dodged it as it struck the wall behind him. I was too shaken up. I had to do better.

His features twisted into a sadistic grin. It sent an ethereal chill down my spine. I could not distinguish if he was even madder or if he was now amused by my murderous attempt. I geared up another blade.

"You wanna play, doll face? Let's play." He kept moving forward.

I sent the next one soaring at his throat. To my dismal, it only nicked him. He snarled pouncing on me like a wild cat. I screamed a pitiful no as he yanked me to my feet, smacking me around. We struggled with each other for a short time. He'd back hand me in the face and then steady me again for another swing. I clawed at his wrists, digging my nails as deep as they could go.

This only, of course, upset The Joker more. He grasped my wrists with a venomous force now pushing me into the nearest wall. I faltered to break free.

"You lied to me!" I shouted.

He responded with a hearty cackle, " _When_  did I  _lie_?"

I couldn't stop myself from crying, "You said I only had to sing…."

"And you did!" He praised. "And what a marvelous performance you put on! You knocked 'em dead, kid!" He laughed again.

I wriggled under his grip. "No, no, no, no, no!" I brought a knee up to get him in the crotch but misjudged by a few inches too high. I ended up landing into his stomach.

He flinched before growling again and spinning me around with haste. One of the clown's fingers tangled in my blonde waves bending me on to a smaller dresser top. He made sure to press his elbow into the slope of my back, sending pain through out.

I cried out, "Gahg!"

I felt a weight descend onto my body as he gruffly whispered in my ear. "Why do you want to fight me, Chrysalis?"

"Then let me go!" I choked out. The pressure of the hand on my head increased. "I've done my part!"

"And so you have! But who ever said anything about letting you walk?"

My grey eyes widened at the realization. Rewinding back to our previous conversation in room 208 he only specified that all I had to do was sing. Never once was the conditions of whether I was a free woman afterwards was mentioned. I  _never_ asked. Only assumed.

_Motherfucker._

He ripped my head to the side, "You're fully paid for, my dear. I  _never_  lose out on a profit. Remember that."

There was a sudden distraught knock at the door. Followed by a worried voice, "Puddin'?"

The door knob swiveled back and forth. "Is everything alright?"

I could hear The Joker grimace, "Ah! Kitten! No need to worry, Pumpkin pie. Daddy's just taking care of business." He twisted my hair in his fingers.

"Agh!" I cringed.

"I shouldn't be long. Go play!" There was a silence beyond the door before Joker seethed. " _Now_!"

The pitter patter of Harley's smaller feet scurried away from the dressing room door. All hope I had garnered at an escape, lost. I panicked, worming around beneath him. He brought his attention back to me. He let a low whistle escape him, "Oh, now I wouldn't advise doing that. You're treading dangerous territory."

My face contorted into confusion. Why did that even mean?

In one swift motion he buried his face into the nape of my neck, biting it intensely. His free hand gripping my hip. I shrieked bucking my body around in an effort to throw him off balance.

I loosened my left wrist from out and under me, using my nails once again to dig into his tattooed hand that was resting on my body. I ripped my talons across as best I could. He instantly jerked it away, cursing under his breath. He gave me a good slam against the wooden surface. I was knocked dizzy for a moment.

"You know," He started, drawing away from me. I could hear what sounded like a belt being unbuckled and pulled from it's loops. My hearted pounded so hard, I thought it was going to burst through my chest. His fingers snaked around my wrists as he pulled them above my head, using his leather belt to knot them together. His voice came close to my ear, dripping with something deadly.

"From the moment I met you, I haven't come to terms with whether to kill you, or fuck you." This time his chuckle was dark but I could sense the restrained desire. The unfamiliarity of the things he was feeling. "That puts me in quite an interesting predicament."

Quite a predicament, indeed. I was now uncertain of the things I was feeling as well. I was aware that I was still utterly scared and that these hostile interactions between us were considered foreplay to a madman such as himself. Yet, I was shivering with some unknown anticipation. Anticipation for what?

"I could do both." He commented, seemingly distracted by how his slender digits leisurely lifted my dress. "It's not like you'll die anyway."

I roared to life, trying to roll myself away. My feet kicked blindly praying to strike some part of him. I wanted to scream out for help but my vocal cords didn't appear to work. It was like a bad dream.

My actions only riled him up more. He made sure to press all of his weight onto me, seething, "Goddamnit!"

It was very strange how he muttered incoherently to himself as he man handled me about the desk. He'd be gentle one moment, then rough the next. It was almost like he was having an internal battle within himself. He craved that closeness but didn't want to understand why. Almost as if he didn't want to accept that underneath all that crazy, he was still just a man.

Something softened inside me.

The clown had one hand tugging at my lingerie while the other sounded like it was fiddling with his suit pants. I pressed my sweaty forehead to the desk, the urge to fight escaping me. His nonsensical words floated around in the air like distant music. There was humming, huffing, growling, and cursing. Nothing I could make out other than an occasional "Fuck" or hiss.

When he eventually removed my underwear and had his pants successfully undone he shaped himself against me. The contact of skin sent goosebumps coursing through my body. His painted lips were back underneath my ear. He let a small "Oooo" escape that mouth.

I inhaled deeply, preparing myself for what was to come. My emotions mixed with disgust and need. The very same need I felt on stage when I wanted him to look my way.

Fingers protruded me, interrupting my thoughts. I gasped, letting my fingertips grip the edge of the dresser. He managed to keep his weight on me while both hands helped him slip inside. I felt a satisfied grin form on my neck. I wasn't even going to try to deny that I was already slick. The part of me that wanted this,  _wanted_ it. I couldn't wrestle her deviant inclination.

With the first thrust I tried to muffle my moan between the hard wood of the dresser top. I could tell this only excited the fiend even more. He let his hands hold down mine while he fervently picked up the pace. I gasped loudly this time, not able to stifle myself. He let the fingers of his one hand cover my mouth.

It only managed to silence me a little as he now pounded into my very being. I would say it hurt but there was something so gratifying about it, so pleasurable, that I couldn't complain. The dresser creaked with our now mutual movements. I called his name in breathy whispers as he did not speak mine.

Although, it was hard to tell between the manic dialog he was having with himself. Most of it was just sounds. Monsterous, animalistic sounds. As he was releasing all the pent up frustration, aggravation, and rage he'd been feeling this whole time. I had suddenly become his outlet. A shiny new toy to destroy.

My body didn't seem to mind though and even cried out in sadness when he came to his end. I should have known it was only for his pleasure. I groaned in protest.

He ignored me, naturally, becoming a drenched heap on top of me. Our heavy breathing filled the hot, stickiness in the air. I wanted to embed this moment into my brain for the rest of my life. The way our bodies fit together like a puzzle. The feeling of his thin but muscular physique on mine. His heartbeat, the very heartbeat that made him human, fluttered violently against my back.

I sighed a teary sigh, "J?"

Joker removed himself from me and began to clean himself up. It was almost eerie the way he remained catatonic. I whispered again to him, "J?"

I heard him zip up his suit pants and walk around to the front of my disheveled form. He untied his belt from my wrists, avoiding eye contact. My heart began to sink with despair. When I was released I stretched my fingertips towards his pale visage catching his skin slightly. I wanted to feel that connection once more.

He snapped his head up sending me a menacing gaze. In an instant, the clown prince pulled away from me readjusting his belt. My fingers curled into my palms as fresh tears began to pour from my face. He turned to leave the room not speaking a word as he exited.

What in the hell had just happened?

I slid off the small dresser collapsing onto the carpet in a sobbing mess. My head was so muddled with incertitudes. I hated him. Not because he was the villain everyone said he would be but because he was a villain that no one expected. He was cruel in the worst way but fair. He enchanted me right from the beginning. Even if he hadn't meant to.

His kindness came with a price but it never felt like he asked for anything unreasonable. All of it made sense, even now. Somewhere in-between, my selfish desires fueled my unknowing pursuit. I didn't make any right decisions. I set myself up for this very moment, betraying people who had protected me for years. Despite certain information.

I  _deserved_  this.

My hands covered my face as I bawled into them. What was left for me now? It was clear that I wasn't going to be leaving any time soon nor did I have any will to do so either. I was trapped in a situation that I wasn't entirely upset over. Thousands died tonight and I couldn't say I felt one shred of sorrow for any of them.

Not anymore.

I reasoned that they were all seasoned criminals and their lives meant as much as mine or The Joker's did to society. Reversing the situation, they wouldn't have even given us a second thought. There was nothing to mourn.

I suddenly felt something deep inside me, snap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm so glad I was able to update. The month of October is my personal favorite so I'm usually pretty busy. However, as I've stated previously, I love writing this story. So I'll try to update when I can. They may just come a bit slower for the time being.
> 
> As always, reviews are always welcomed and stay tuned for the next chapter! :)  
> Thank you!


	9. Religion

" _Everything is fine now_  
 _Let sleeping dogs lay_  
 _All our minds made up now_  
 _All our beds are made_  
 _No one's out of time, no_  
 _Chips fall wherever they may_  
 _Leave it all behind, let the ocean wash it away_ "

Lana Del Rey - " _Religion_ "

* * *

My finger tips grazed the walls as I slowly swayed my way

out into the ballroom. Even though my body was on fire, I felt nothing. It was as if someone had poured a liquefier down my throat, turning my organs to mush. In my head I defied all gravity, floating through time and space. Yet somehow my bare feet managed to touch the stage.

I could still smell it, the pungency of blood. Staring out into the sea of bodies reminded me how quickly your life can be taken from you and that everything we did seemed so insignificant. Nothing really mattered anymore.

I carefully took the side steps down catching a small group of people in front of the stage. In the center of them was the mad clown himself, his purple, fitted blazer a beacon amongst all the burgundy hues. Harley had her arms secured around his, eyeing me intensely.

"Well, well, well." She smacked her lips loudly. "Look what the cat dragged in,  _an insect._ "

His head turned to the side to follow her line of sight to my monotone expression. A hint of irritation flashed over him before he smirked. "An insect indeed, Harls." He patted her on the head like a child, turning to face me. "You know, this place really is a mess and with your new found free time we were just discussing how we should invest in a cleaning lady."

They all laughed, finding his attacks amusing. My fists clenched but I felt no rage. He could be petty all he wished, however it didn't erase what happened behind closed doors. I could sense he wanted me to keep my mouth shut and for Harley's sake, I would. Although I had a sneaking suspicion she was already quite aware.

It may have been the way her hands held onto his forearm for dear life or the distasteful face she made whenever she looked at me or the snarky comment when I had entered the room. Before any of this, Harley was all giggles and smiles. She knew what I knew, of course. We were bound by some unbeknownst loyalty one way or the next. We couldn't say anything directly.

Not yet.

I let my feet meet the flooring of the grand ballroom. From here on out, what was once beautiful tile drowned within the copious amounts of crimson. Everyone's eyes were glaring at my presence. I didn't laugh at his joke, again.

The Joker egged me on. "Aw, come on. Afraid of a little blood?"

They all chuckled again like a bunch of school kids bullying the weak. I didn't care though, my focus was on something they hadn't noticed. In the corners of the ceiling a rather large rodent took residence, crawling our way.

"No." I continued my bare footed walk into the red liquid. It felt goopy between my toes. Joker rolled his jaw in annoyance at my lack of enthusiasm. I stopped myself a few feet away from his ridged form. Harley bared a scowl.

My eyes met the clown's for a moment before panning back up to the intruder hanging from the ceiling. "You're right, this ship certainly needs a cleaning lady. Such  _large_  bats you have."

Everyone froze in an instant, trying to comprehend what I was saying. I had never seen Joker's eyes so wide as the gears clicked into place. He made a split decision to push Harley out of the way while pointing a gun at Batman, shouting, "Fire!"

A hail storm of bullets fired out at the bat as he dodged them to jump down behind the bar. I remained perfectly still, watching these events unfold. The Joker gritted his silver caps before bursting into a manic chortle, "Oh Bats! You just can't stay away!" He reloaded his weapon. "I'm beginning to think you have quite the crush.'

"Stupid Bats!" Harley sloshed up from the pool of red, her dress absolutely filthy. "I liked this dress!"

Batman took this opportunity to throw a few batarangs towards Joker's group. He managed to knock out a few henchmen before blindsiding everyone with a flash bang. I gripped the sides of my head in pain. I could barely make out the squealing coming from a few feet in front of me.

As I stumbled further away, clutching onto a wall, I witness shapes and shadows dancing about the feathery smoke. Another gun shot fired. Another thud to the floor.

If it wasn't Joker causing chaos, it was Batman.

Harley's voice suddenly rang out in giggles, "Got'cha Batsy!"

I inched closer to try to configure the scene before me. From what I could tell, the clown and the bat were amidst a violent struggle when the blonde grabbed a gun and knocked Batman over the head with it. She had it cocked now, pointing it at his mouth.

"He never smiles, Mistah J." She briefly complained but then perked up. "Let's turn that frown upside down!"

"No way, freak!" Another bat swooped from the chandeliers, tackling Harley back into the ground. I could almost swear that I recognized the blonde that protruded from the bat's cap.

I heard the Clown Prince grumble, "Eck, as if one bat wasn't enough."

"Hey!" Harley shouted in a hoarse tone. "Didn't ya mother ever teach you it's not nice to call people names!" She was fighting for control of the gun with Batgirl.

"I think being called names is the  _least_  of your worries, Quinn." She gave the clown girl a good punch to the face. Harley just laughed, unfazed.

Joker reached for another discarded weapon before standing and shooting at Batgirl's tinging of the reverberation the bullets made had the girl bat rolling away from Harley. Which the insane girl kept giggling even as the silver pellets nearly skimmed her skin. The green haired man showed no concern at all for her well being. Just kill the bats.

A shadow loomed over me as I continued watching the brawl, unsure of what to do. The corner of my eye caught a similar height figure extending an arm to me.

"Olive, this is only going to get ugly. I can get you to safety before that happens." It was Batgirl…and someone else I recognized. "You've been through a lot."

"D-Debra?" I stammered.

A genuine grin spread across her face. "As you know me, yes."

Ah, of course, heroes can't reveal their true identity. More lies on top of lies. I shied away from her, my trust questioning. She gave me a funny look. "Olive, what's the matter?"

Her hand reached for me further. I physically backed up towards the stairs. The quizzical look on her face transformed to concern. "Miss Pendragon?"

I clenched my teeth before speaking, "Must be nice knowing my entire name before I know yours."

"What?" She let her arm drop.

This entire time, from the moment I left my dressing room, I had felt absolutely nothing. Then in an instant, all of the fury bubbling up inside me surfaced. The pain, the rage, the guilt. All of the things I had done and still had left to do. I let myself get caught up with all of the details never acknowledging what was always there. Why I seemed to circle back to the same conclusion.

My fingers slid down my thighs as I beamed at her brightly. "I'm no longer undecided, Debra."

Her blue eyes muddled with uncertainty. "I don't understand."

"I'm worse." My chest tightened. "I seem to have  _no_  morals." Just then, my blade came up brisk, slicing her upper arm. She fumbled backwards in shock.

"Have you lost your mind?!" She shouted, holding her arm.

I slashed at her again, catching her cheek. Nothing she said registered to me. I was only seeing red. I kicked her in the stomach and watched her keel over. Something about beating the dog while it's down enthralled me. I couldn't hold back any longer.

I looped my arm around her neck and lifted her chin to expose her neck. Holding the blade to it, I dragged her through a wide side entrance that led to the deck railing. The salt air hitting my face reassured me there was no other way.

"Ggh, stop this!" She struggled to say.

I wasn't paying attention to her pleas as my eyes fixated on the three lively ones inside. "Hey!" I hollered but no one paid me no mind. So I yelled with gusto. "Hey! Bats!"

All of their focus turned towards me. I could sense confusion settle into each one of their features. I pressed the knife closer to her flesh. She winced. "Listen up, party crasher! It's him or the lady bat!"

Batman's visage appeared thrown off as he watched me lean her face into the bars. The Joker was obviously quite pleased with my aggressive display. Harley seemed torn.

"Olive," Batman said in a calm voice, stepping to me. "you don't have to do this. Whatever The Joker's done, whatever he has on you, I promise-"

"No," I gave the gruff man a sad smile. "it's always been destined this way."

I plunged the blade in and out of her right shoulder before tossing her over board. The bat ran to dive after her as they hit the cold waves, both disappearing under the rough current. I watched for a few seconds as the air bubbles began to dissipate. A slow clap formed behind me.

I tilted my head in Joker's direction. His grin still wide. "I think you've just earned yourself a promotion."

He started to cackle when I looked back over the railing. There was nothing but ocean surrounding us. In the distance a storm was brewing. It had kicked up the waves, sending them crashing against the sides of the ship. I wasn't all too sure how Batman and Batgirl would survive the hectic sea but if they did, there had to be another plan.

I felt a breath trickle down my shoulder as Joker's face came into view. I met his blue hues. "I've always got a plan." He reminded me, winking, almost as if he read my mind. He reeked of the blood he was soaked in.

The clown pulled away to bring his attention back to Harley who had her hand on her hip sulking partially. Her eyes narrowing towards me. Mister J drooped an arm casually over her shoulder. "What do you say, Harls? We'll give 'em the  _real_  show!" He held out a device with a cartoonish red button. "You can even press the button."

Her entire demeanor lit up as she gasped, "Oh Puddin', can I  _really_?" She reached for it with eager hands.

He jerked it away from her, leering, "Not yet! You wanna blow us sky high?!"

She threw a tantrum like a child, stomping her foot. "But you just said I could press it, J!"

I could see they were going to bicker and I was in no mood. I interrupted the spat loudly, "What's the next part of the plan?"

Harley did not look grateful for the intervention, but J did. His famous grin returning. "Well I'm glad you asked, Chrysalis!" His tattooed hand gestured upwards to a helicopter approaching. "My man Frost has us covered for just such an occasion."

I could feel my heart beating again with the realization that I had sealed my fate. Leaving with him now would mean I was an accomplice to this mass homicide as well. Not to mention, throwing Batgirl off the side of a ship was pretty incriminating too. I don't suppose she'll ever forgive me for that.

Not that I wanted it.

I followed the couple through the corridors to the main deck. As we trudged through, Harley kept skipping about humming with excitement. She danced back and forth in the hallway in front of me catching J's attention every now and again. He'd give her a grin then continue forward. I tried to remain at a distance. Part of my still felt very uncomfortable.

A strong, machine powered wind blew our hair back and dresses up when we stepped out onto the bow. Frost had the copter ready with a ladder thrown down to us. As we approached, I noticed it was only the three of us boarding. I searched the area for any other passengers.

"What are you waiting for?" The Joker looked at me, a few rungs up the ladder. Harley was almost halfway up.

My eyes met Joker's, questioning. "What about everyone else?"

He smiled, "What about them?"

"The henchmen?" I took a step closer.

"A dime a dozen."

"The staff?" I was only two feet away now.

"Underpaid." He chuckled. "Just useless witness'."

He extended his hand for me to take. I stared at it, trying to understand the clown's cruel measures. Literally thousands died tonight and even though I pitied them, the exhilaration coursing through my veins outweighed it. Was this what he always felt after committing such acts?

Frost shouted something from the helicopter. Distracted, I tried to make out what he was saying but before I could a force tugged me forward as the aircraft lifted upwards. I made a small shriek gripping onto a rung.

Mister J had captured me by the waist when we took off. Pressed against him, shaking, I watched as the ship's deck disappeared beneath our feet. I looked up to him.

His gaze was fixed on the spoiled cruise ship. "Almost missed your flight." He joked. His blue crystals met mine.

I froze for a minute forgetting where I was. Then I realized he was waiting for me to climb up the rest of the ladder. As I did, he called to his pet. "Harley!"

The clown girl danced around at the top, swooshing the whole thing about. I clung desperately to the ropes as she busted into a fit of giggles. "Whatsa matta, little bug can't swim?" She hooked her knees over a rung and flipped herself back, hanging upside down. Her face was a few feet away from mine as she winked, "Neither can I."

Suddenly, her small digits clicked a shiny, red button and a huge explosion erupted from the ship. It rocked the helicopter sideways a bit urging me to hold tighter. Neither of them appeared fazed by the blow as they laughed wildly.

Harley swung carelessly in the air, eventually pulling herself up and into the flying machine. When I regained my composure I followed after her with a single henchmen, Tommy, helping me in. He looked very pleased to see me.

"Hello Thomas." I gave him a genuine smile.

A few minutes shortly, Joker joined our party. He paused to admire his handy work. He didn't have any particular expression other than his usual grin but there was something about his aura that gave off a sense of pride. Like a father proud of his child.

I observed the ruins of the cruise ship catching glimpses of the structure splitting off into the deep blue. It began to sink gracefully under water leaving behind splinters of it's former self. I could relate. Somewhere in there were reminisce of me. Olive Pendragon, the small town girl with suburban dreams.

My old dreams washed away with the debris, tattered and torn. I was a blank slate. More so a blank canvas ready to be painted on. Artists use a kaleidoscope of colors to paint their desires and I had millions of things I could have wanted but no idea how to get them. The only thing I had for paint, was blood.


	10. Carmen

" _Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem_  
 _Lying to herself 'cause her liquor's top shelf_  
 _It's alarming honestly how charming she can be_  
 _Fooling everyone, telling them she's having fun_ "

\- Lana Del Rey " _Carmen_ "

* * *

Joker's hideout was nothing short of luxurious.

At least the bits where we actually slept and ate. From the outside, the building looked like a decrepit warehouse. The concrete walls lined with webbed cracking. Chunks broken off at corners. This place was practically remote just like any villains getaway should be.

It was a chilly atmosphere, but when you stepped further down the rabbit hole there was a heavily armed door with two guards standing by it. If you could get pass them and bypass the passcode also attached to it, you'd soon find yourself in a small storage closet.

This space was clearly used for last minute weaponry and a secret exit. So essentially we were coming in through the back of what lied beyond the desolate disguise of an abandoned warehouse.

Passing through this exclusive room you were greeted by another series of pass codes on either side of the door. Once you get out of there, you find yourself entering a rather large library fit for a mansion. Which of course, it  _was_. The private entrance hidden skillfully behind a large 18th century painting that blended well with the tranquil mood of the area.

The library had high ceilings lined with intricate European moulding. Millions of rows of book shelves carried dusty old literature ranging from fiction to non-fiction and everything in between. The smell of these aged written treasures settled permanently in the air. There was nothing quite like a good book.

Leaving the library, you would find yourself entering the rest of the huge abode. The second level, where the study was located, had several bedrooms lining it's wide halls. This included the master bedroom and Joker's private office. From what I could tell, most of the bedrooms had their own bathrooms except for the ones that held the henchmen. They shared a large bathroom at the end of the right wing.

Walking down the magnificent winding staircase you came across the huge front entrance. There wasn't much there other than a place for coats, hats, and umbrellas. Veering off to the left brought you to the dining area and kitchen. Veering to the right brought you to a parlor that was set up for entertaining guests with poker or pool. A long bar was also built into one of it's walls housing almost every liquor imaginable.

From there, another hallway brought you to a few other rooms such as a few more bedrooms, bathrooms, and a second office. Others were miscellaneous. The only place I was not entirely sure about was the basement but judging by the uneasy look on some of the henchmen at the mention of it, I probably didn't want to know.

The strangest thing about this hideout was that there was a whole other side to the home that belonged to an older man we only simple knew as Mr. Peabody. Joker briefly explained that the old fellow was his guise so as not to alert any attention of the authorities to where the clown actually resided. They had a butler who would answer the door and if it was anyone unknown, Mr. Peabody would be the one called to assess the situation. For all that Gotham and the bat knew, this was Mr. Peabody's residence. Quite brilliant, really, and the only solution from having the trouble to move from place to place. This gave Joker and Harley a more permanent home outside of Gotham. The only catch being that we weren't aloud on Mr. Peabody's side of the abode under any circumstance.

Fair enough.

I was truly fortunate to get a room of my own upstairs with a private bath. I spent my first few days there sleeping off the fatigue in the queen sized bed. On the third day, I ventured down into the parlor to see a few henchmen playing cards. The Joker was nowhere in sight.

When I entered the room the boys raised their heads momentarily then went back to their game. I felt very out of place, unsure of what to do next. This was like a whole new world to me. A rumbling came from my stomach, interrupting my thoughts. When was the last time I ate again?

I drifted slowly into the kitchen realizing how light headed I was. Opening the two door fridge, I decided on something quick and easy. There was definitely enough in here to make a sandwich. I grabbed the ingredients I needed and prepared my lunch…or maybe dinner? I looked around for a clock. For all I knew, it could have even been morning.

Four. About four in the afternoon.

I continued with my work and within minutes I had my sandwich. The grumbling in my belly becoming increasingly unbearable. I didn't even wait to put everything back before devouring the whole thing. I leaned back from the island, satisfied.

Although I could go for another.

"Ah, look who's finally awake." A familiar voice commented from the entryway.

I watched Joker slink his way over to a stool which I hadn't bothered to use. He rested his elbows on the counter, beaming. "I've been waiting for you. I have an excellent idea for your promotion."

My face contorted, I thought I was already "promoted"? He let out a small chuckle, like he had read my mind again. I was starting to suspect that I was just easy to read. "I know what you're thinking, Chrysalis." His one hand became animated as his voice raised an octave. " 'But Mister J, I've  _already_  been promoted. You've said so yourself.' " He relaxed, returning to his actual tone. "And you'd be right! But in order to stay promoted you have to remain  _loyal_."

His face came closer to mine, breath trickling over my sensitive skin. "I don't have any small jobs to give you currently so I came up with a  _better_  idea!" His eyes stared down at the counter as he traced small circles into it, inches from my own hands. "Think of the one person in your life whose always managed to get under your skin. The one person you've always wanted to take a crowbar to the head." His blues flashed abruptly up to my eyes.

I scoffed a little, not exactly meaning to. "I think we both know I've already finished them off. One way or another."

His metal grin returned to his visage. "Oh, come on now, Olive. You've got to think deeper than that. That couldn't have been  _all_  of them." He pressed a shoulder into mine, coaxing in my ear. "No one else close to you? Well, they couldn't have been that close if they walked out on you…"

Joker let that hang intentionally in the air as I breathed it in. My grey eyes grew dark letting it all sync. I knew exactly who he was referring to. That old animosity I felt for said person twirled it's way through my veins. My fingers clenched to fists.

He pulled back with a smirk, knowing very well he had me. "I just so happen to know where to find them. Whatta ya say, toots? I'd love to see how you work."

How could I say no? It was a long time coming. So later that night we found ourselves pulling up to a stingy strip club in a town near Gotham. It had been a few towns over from where I was originally born and now knowing it hadn't been so far made my stomach turn for all these wasted years.

I gritted my teeth watching sleaze balls roll in. Harley made a low whistle from the passenger seat as she observed too. "This sure ain't nothing like your club, Mistah J."

Joker rolled his jaw. "Well Harls, that's because my place has  _class_. I hate small towns."

Harley nodded in agreement. "Gives me the creeps." She turned to study me from her seat. "Who're we looking for anyway?"

"She'll be inside." I replied without tearing my eyes away from the skeevy club entrance.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the clown girl make a face then turn back to J. "Do we have to?"

I heard Mister J chortle as he raised a hand to cup the side of Harley's face. "Pumpkin Pie," He started sweetly. "you've seemed to pick up this habit of questioning me lately." He pinched her cheek hard. " _Stop it!_ "

She winced, pulling back from his venomous touch. Her hand tried to sooth the irritated skin. Joker gripped the steering wheel again and parked in a far off parking space. Another car parked beside us filled with a few of his henchmen.

This was happening. This was all really happening. I stepped out of the car first, suddenly determined to get inside. A henchmen stood in my way. How did he get there so fast?

The clown rounded the vehicle and draped an arm around my shoulders. "I know you're eager, little bug, and I promise to let you do things your way  _after_  we are out of public eye. Got it?" He jabbed me in the ribs with a cane he was holding.

I begrudgingly complied. "Got it."

He smirked, "Good girl."

Our semi-large group of seven strolled up to the side entrance where a rather round biker stood. He scowled at our slightly more upscale attire, instantly knowing we weren't from around here. "Can I help you?"

Joker remained calm. "As a matter of fact," The clown held out a hand to one of his henchmen who handed him a wade of cash. "I happen to be traveling and boy, there sure are a lot of  _trees."_ He licked his lips as he counted out the money. The bouncer's attention clearly astute. "I'm quite tired, you see, and i have all of this money with nowhere to spend it…well, until I came across your-" He grimaced. "- _fine_  establishment." Joker bent forward with a chunk of the cash outstretched raising where an eyebrow would have been. "Would you say I've come to the right place?"

The biker grabbed the money and did a brief counting. He nodded, "Right this way-"

"J"

"-Mr. J."

The bearded man went to usher us in when Joker raised an index finger in the air. "Ah, just one more thing. I'd like to request to the most private booth ya got. Best seat in the house."

The biker nodded again, "That can be arranged. Follow me."

We eventually found ourselves in a surprisingly roomy booth that was secluded by high, built-in dividers encasing it. I mean, it was still grimy, don't get me wrong but was definitely exactly what we asked for. You could see the stage perfectly and the clown had his henchmen stand about outside of the table. Anyone else in this club could tell he was someone of importance even if they didn't know him.

Harley ordered some kind of mixed drink while I got a martini to calm my nerves. Joker sat this one out, nestled between the two of us. The clown girl made hilarious comments about some of the most questionable strippers I'd ever seen. She had us three rolling with laughter. I found that, despite my whole reasoning of being here, I was actually enjoying myself.

You could tell the locals were not fond of our intrusion but kept tight lipped. By now they must have all known about the wad of cash Joker gave to the bouncer. They all wanted a piece. The waitress was most evident, smug yet upheld a cheery presence. Harley was getting visibly irritated.

"I don't like her, J. Just lemme me get one shot at her-"

"Now Harls, let's not blow our cover. Tonight is not about you." He was tracing imaginary figures into the table top while staring off into the club. I noticed he could never sit completely still. "We can always come back later for a play date."

This seemed to appease the clown girl and she finished off her drink. I was still nursing mine, my belly all in knots. I wanted to find her and be done with this. I had so many questions.

My eyes inadvertently glimpsed a woman grinding up against some sloppy business suit. She was clearly going above and beyond her job description because she certainly wasn't dressed as a stripper. Judging by the club's logo on her tee and hot pants, she must have been a waitress.

I recognized those summer blonde waves, that oval shaped face, and slender nose. All features attributed to mine. Only she looked a lot more haggard than I did. I let out a breath I had forgot I was holding. "There she is."

The other two pivoted my way. Harley's nose scrunched, "Who?"

My eyes locked onto my target as she hung off the business man, throwing her head back in a wild laugh. She appeared drunk. "Carmen, my mother."

Joker's features twisted into a mischievous smile while Harley's seemed a little distraught. "You're gonna knock off your own motha'?"

She said this under her breath, whether she meant to or not, it made it easier to ignore. I tried to stand up from the booth but a tattooed hand grasped mine. "Ah, ah, ah, what did I say?"

I huffed lowering myself back down. He patted my smaller hand. "All in good time."

We waited another hour or two, eyeing her every move. Her sleazy demeanor only boiled my blood more. How could she have thought this life was better than what my father had given her? I'd make her sorry.

At about one a.m. she disappeared to the back for a moment only to reemerge with a jean jacket and a small purse. She made her rounds kissing just about all of the staff and headed for the front door. Finally, she was leaving.

Showtime.

We curtly made our leave as well shuffling through the side door and to the vehicles. She was still visible and still kissing people good-bye as she got into a heap of car. The broad giggled to herself at the trouble she was having getting the thing to start.

Joker tapped impatiently at the wheel. "You better make this good, doll face. I better be not wasting my time for nothing."

We heard a loud roar erupt from her engine as the car putted about. His smile returned, pulling out of the spot to follow her. I fidgeted in my seat wondering what I'd do first or what information I'd get out of her. I had an inkling Joker wanted me to kill her but I just wasn't sure if I could bring myself to do that. Maybe I could get away with the torture if it was planned well enough. I began rummaging through the duffle bag of weapons beside me.

Several miles down the road, Carmen pulled into an even stingier motel. It was pretty deserted minus about three other vehicles parked in the lot. She was making this almost too easy.

We parked ourselves next to her after she went inside and the other goons parked at the farther end where it was empty. Two of them were to stay in the car until we were finished. Joker made sure they had cellulars to immediately contact if something went awry.

The clown turned the car off as he leaned back in his seat, smiling at me in the rearview mirror. "It's all you, Chrysalis."

I shook my head, inhaling deeply. I had somewhat of a plan. My shaky fingertips opened the unlocked door and I stepped out with the duffle bag over my shoulder. It was much lighter since I emptied it minus a few things I actually needed. I wanted to make this as quick as possible.

Joker and Harley followed suit behind me as I approached Carmen's motel door. I knocked three times waiting for her to come. I could hear her t.v. blaring with what sounded like some evening talk show. Could she even hear me over that racket? I pounded a little harder this time.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." A voice croaked from the other side. The flimsy wood creaked open as she poked her blonde head out. Her brown eyes looked me up and down. "Can I help you?"

My voice was suddenly stuck in my throat. So many things rushed to my brain but none of it could make my mouth move. Her face contorted strangely and I could see her fingertips itching to slam the door shut. I was totally blowing this.

Then a hand reached before me to push her door open further. "Ah, what a… _quiant_ …living space you have, Ms.-"

"It's Carmen." She spat as Joker shoved his way past her. "Who the hell are you people?!"

Harley gave me a little nudge into the room, the corners of her mouth upturned. You could tell Carmen was getting a bit frazzled. She put her hands on hers hips and demanded, "I  _said_  who the hell are you people?! You want me to call the cops?!"

Harley shut the door behind her, locking it. "Whatsa matta'? Don't even recognize your own daughter?" Carmen looked to the clown girl in confusion. She let out a growl, "Not me,  _her_! Ya dumb broad."

Her fingers pointed in my direction as I set the duffle bag down on a chair. The older woman came close, studying my features. It took her a minute for things to click. Her tired eyes searched for all of the similarities I had noticed back at the strip club. Then, as if she'd seen a ghost, her hands cupped her own cheeks. "Olive? That's really you?" She checked me up and down in a more awed fashion. "You look so good!"

She reached for a hug but I delayed her with my outstretched hand. "Don't." I warned.

"What?" She looked baffled. "Didn't you come all this way to see me?"

Without a second thought I socked her right in the face. It felt so good watching her collapse onto the carpet, reeling in shock.

Joker began clapping in the corner. He'd made himself at home in a chair to spectate the events unfolding. "About time! I was worried this was going to turn into one of those sappy reunions." He chuckled.

His pet leaned an elbow on his shoulder, "What's gonna happen next, J?"

He licked his painted lips, "That all depends on our little bug, Harls."

Even though I could hear their conversation right next to me, it sounded like it was being had miles away. My focus was fully on my mother. She sat up clutching her nose. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

I didn't reply, just kicked her and when I was satisfied with that I grabbed her by her hair and sat her in the nearest unoccupied chair. I noticed she felt quite frail within my grasp. I bound her to the chair with the rope I kept in the duffle bag. Knotting just seemed like something basic to learn when your life was surrounded by criminals.

"Tell me," I said as I pulled out another rope. "is this life everything you'd hoped it would be?"

Carmen's face lifted to spit blood in my direction. I whipped the bundle in my hands across her face. Her head lulled about, disorientated. Seething, I began winding the rope around her visage.

Joker looked intrigued by my contraption. "And what's this you're putting together?" He leaned forward, inquisitive.

I stepped behind the older woman pulling the leftover rope with me. "Help me move that long dresser forward."

He waved Harley off to do my indirect bidding. With a pout, she helped me push it closer to my victim. When that was accomplished I wound the rope through the underneath of the dresser, giving it a good tug. Carmen's head snapped back with it, making her gasp.

I stood in front of her now with the rope ends in between my fingers and a foot on a rung of the chair. "Whenever I pull this," I gave it another tug causing her to gurgle in pain. "it'll wrench her head…maybe even snap her neck if she wants to test me."

Some sickening power was building inside of me, ready to rear it's ugly head. I didn't want to kill her, that would almost be like rewarding her for being a despicable human being. I wanted her to  _suffer._ Joker looked more than pleased by my Medieval torture rig. He circled around it cartoonishly stopping behind Carmen to lay either hands on her shoulders.

"I think Olive means business." He gave her a good squeeze. "I'd be quite proud if she were my daughter."

His dark chuckle echoed within the room as tears started to form in my mother's eyes. I just couldn't find the emotions to care anymore. One of the reasons why I was here was  _because_  of her. I tightened the rope a smidge and Joker pulled away, returning to his original seat.

"What's killing me going to solve?" My victim choked out.

I raised a brow, "Killing? Maybe maim and disfigure, but  _kill_?" I almost closed the distance between our faces. "I'd never  _dream_  of letting you off that easy."

I drew back with a twisted smile of my own, raising my hands in the air. "What do you think, mum?! Am I everything you hoped I would be?!"

She began sobbing hard into her binding captures, uttering something I didn't quite catch. I dramatically cupped an ear in her direction, "What was that, Carmen? I can't hear you!"

She continued to sob, refusing to answer my questions. I was getting agitated by her defiance. "I said,  _speak up!_ " I tugged very hard on the ropes sending her back in a cinch. She cried out in pain as her fingers wriggled. I pulled on them just a little bit more for good measure. I wanted her to bathe in the burns.

"You're fucking crazy!" She struggled to cry.

I slackened my grip bringing my face to meet hers again. Her head flopped forward in a rag doll like manner. "Well Ma! You'd be a little crazy too if you had any idea of the shit I've been put through!" I clenched my teeth in a growl as I pulled the rope slightly again. "How are all these suits treating you? Better than Dad?"

I drew it harder, constricting her head. Her voice was a mixture of agony and tears. My lips met her ear, carefully pronouncing every word in a whisper. "Did you know Dad's dead? Gunned down trying to protect me." I glared at her. "Been dead for a couple of years now. Did you even care?"

Carmen shut her eyes tight, trying to avoid my heated gaze. I grabbed her face, shaking her. "I  _said_  did you even care?!"

"No!" She screamed through heavy sobbing. I let her go to stand a few feet away from her again. Her head hung low as she spoke broken words. "He was a madman…Olive, he was crooked…so many things that he did…" She tried to wipe some snot on the shoulder of her shirt. "It's how I met him, you know? I was a cocktail girl for a policemen's ball." Her eyes drifted to the ceiling above her, reminiscing some distant memory. "I was so young back then…and bad, oh so bad." Her brown eyes immediately snapped to me. "But he was worse. I did what I had to to get by, Olive. Grant, he-he just did as he pleased. Hurt people for his own gain. I couldn't do it anymore, especially when I was pregnant with you."

"Lies." I hissed. "He never touched a hair on my head."

A sad smile graced her face. "No, no I suppose he wouldn't have. He never laid a hand on me either…he just…his kind of trouble was-"

"Coward!" I yelled.

Her eyes screwed upwards. "W-what?"

My fingers clenched the rope. "You heard me, you're a coward. Everything he did he did for you, for  _us_!" I got right her face, snarling. "He risked his life and what did you do? You ran!"

Her brows furrowed, "Oh, Liv, I've already lost you-"

"You've  _never_  had me!" I screamed, jerking the rope as hard as I could.

A horrible shrill escaped her as I tugged and tugged. It still wasn't enough though. I promptly dropped the rope to reach for something more solid. She was shaking her burned face, whispering in a mad chant. "You're insane. You're insane. You're insane. Oh dear, Lord, my baby girl is insane…"

I rolled my jaw and shoulders as I swung a crowbar in circles. I wouldn't listen to her lies anymore. I wouldn't be associated with a milksop. I raised the piece of metal above my mother's fragile frame. Then, a pair of hands gently wrapped around my own.

"Olive," The shaky voice said. I looked back to see Harley with a melancholy expression. "She's your motha…the only one you've got."

There was some kind of longing lingering in the blonde's eyes. It was almost like this moment reminded her that she too had a family. Whether they cared for her more than she of them or vice versa, each had a lasting impact on one another's lives.

A small laughter broke the silence. We turned our heads to see Carmen practically in hysterics. "She's no daughter of mine!" She hollered. "Grant's better off dead, and you'll follow right in his footsteps!"

That was the final straw. No matter what my father did he was the kindest man I ever knew. He worked so hard to raise me right even if that meant sacrificing his own humanity. She was the bitter pill. It should have been her.

"It should have been you." I heard myself say. I had somehow become detached.

"Don't!" Harley tried to call but it was too late. I rampaged the crowbar several times over my mother's head. The blood came in spurts as the tissue and skin softened under each blow. White noise filled my ears blocking out any shrieking that might have come from her body. I couldn't stop myself.

Eventually, my arms exhausted and the beating was slowly replaced by heavy breathing. The crowbar made a loud thud as it hit the carpet. A nauseating cackle enveloped my being. As I shifted my eyes around trying to get them to focus on the source I felt a strange sensation crawling up my throat.

My hand cupped over my mouth. Was I going to vomit? Joker's pale features were contorted into manic laughter. He looked as if he had just heard the best joke of them all. Then I realized what this vibrating in my vocal cords was. My mind cleared as it rang out more clearly. There were two laughters, his and my own.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe Olive has just found her own personal crazy. ;)
> 
> Hello everyone! I'll be updating this story on this site less frequently. I don't get many reviews or feedback here so I don't want to bore anyone else to tears. Also, it doesn't help my writing or creativity. Plus, it's easier to upload to just one site. Haha! If you'd like to read more, however, it's updated on Fanfiction.net.  
> Eventually I'll bring this one up to speed. Thank you again!


	11. Strange Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter is another M chapter. As I've said before, there won't be too many of them but I obviously still want to warn you guys. This does deal with a little self loathing but mostly M for sexual content.
> 
> Enjoy!

" _Hey stranger_  
 _My strange love_  
 _Would you be mine?_  
 _Am I what you're dreaming of?_

 _Hey stranger_  
 _My strange love_  
 _What makes you shy?_  
 _What makes you fall in love?_ "

\- Lana Del Rey " _Strange Love_ "

* * *

"I don't care what you say, J, she's dangerous."

Peeping through the crack of the door, I could see Harley twirl a finger around her temple. "You've had some pretty screwy ideas but we just watched her butcher her own  _motha'_ with a crowbar."

"Oh, Harley."

"Her  _family._ "

"Yes."

"Whose to say she won't do that to  _our_  family, J?" The uppity blonde rested her hands on her hips.

The clown pondered this for a second. The internal struggle evident on his pale visage. I drew away, placing the back of my head against the wall once more. I had been eves dropping on their conversation knowing very well that Harley wanted to dispose of me immediately and how could I argue?

The squishy sounds of Carmen's brain matter sloshed itself inside my cranium. My fingers crept up to my ears attempting to squeeze the memory out.

"Harls," I stifled at the sound of Mister J's voice. "Pumpkin pie." I returned my eyes through the crack. Joker was approaching the clown girl at a gradual pace. "That's what I like about you, your utter devotion to protect what's ours." The backs of his fingers feathered over one of her cheeks. She was instantly under his spell, her eyes fluttering closed. He trailed his fingertips along the nape of her neck before toying with the end of a pigtail. Then, with one great jerk, he ripped her head to the side.

"But be honest, are you going to replace the millions I spent on that serum? Hm?" He vehemently spat. She clawed at his hand, trying to pry it from her hair. "Something tells me this goes much deeper with you." He released her. "Are you going soft on me, Harls?"

Her face was seething as she rapidly combed fingers through the now loose pigtail. "You would know better than anyone, J" She narrowed her eyes.

My heart was racing, the cat was out of it's bag.

Joker's mouth upturned into a wicked, metal grin. "Oh, kitten." He began to chuckle. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" His movements became fluent as he approached her again. However, she was on her guard this time, holding each tail with each hand. "I got a little… _carried away_ …but you are my number one girl, Harley Quinn!"

This time, his fingers gently cupped her face as she allowed it. "And you should trust that if she  _ever_  got in our way or hurt you, I'd find a way to  _permanently_   _end her_." His blue hues grew dark with every word.

This appeased the clown girl tremendously and she reached up to plant a kiss on his red lips. He returned her gesture by deepening it. My stomach turned as I pulled away. A strange feeling of self hate and anger boiled at my core.

Why was I even feeling anything?

I started to silently sob. I couldn't push down the emotions of uselessness or the disgust of what I'd done. The worst part of it being that I had absolutely no control. My spirit was so detached that my recollection of the whole ordeal was literally from a spectators point. I could list you all of the things that Olive had done but if you asked me how it  _felt_ , I would only shrug.

I wasn't there  _really_. Just a witness to another version of me murdering my mother. But Olive enjoyed it, that much was clear at the time. The horrendous howl that escaped her lips once the deed was done was spine chilling. She appeared to have no remorse…at first.

The whole car ride home, when I reunited with my body, I was a complete zombie. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. All of these unnatural things were happening but I wasn't all too sure if I was dreaming or if it was real. It must have only been a few days ago when I last sang at Angelo's, no?

A week, perhaps?

I was utterly lost inside this circus. The stakes too high, the tent too big. What would me of a couple weeks ago say? Who am I anyhow?

I stopped my crying long enough to make it back to my bedroom undetected. Standing in front of a tall mirror, I gazed at the wreck before me. No matter how much sleep I got those purplish circles seemed permanent. If I didn't have nightmares before, I would now, and tonight wouldn't make it any better.

Joker had been so pleased with the results that he decided a party would heal any reservations I still held. A celebration of sorts. I can tell you Harley wasn't too keen on the idea and I definitely didn't fault her on that but his spirits were so high it left him quite generous. Which was a rarity all it's own and to be truthful, nobody wanted to rock that boat.

So a grand party it was! He had hired people to hire people to set the place up for large company. I noted a few villains I'd seen before in the papers but most of the guests were mob bosses, gangs, or private investors of sorts. Just more shady business suits.

I found myself wobbling down the upstairs hall trying to find a place to rest for a second. I was six drinks deep and the hired tender was not light on the liquor.

Entering the library, there were a few unraveled guests surrounding one of the rectangular tables. Two of them were hunched over cutting up what looked to be cocaine while the other, a woman, danced in circles round the room. She was off in her own little world as she swayed to the music pulsing throughout the manor. Another suit sat unhinged near her attempting to catch her in his hands every now and again, like a playful game of cat and mouse. They were all obviously tweaked.

As I stepped further in, one of the scruffier ones at the table turned an eye my way. His dilated pupils drank in my physique. "You looking for a good time, princess?"

I swallowed hard, inching closer. "What'cha got in mind?"

He flashed me a toothy grin, "For you, something special."

I watched the man pat his jacket pocket and get up to sit at a lone table. Warning flags flew up countlessly within my mind but I just couldn't muster the effort to care about myself anymore. At this point, what  _could_  kill me, was worth it.

I followed him to the table and sat in the chair he had slid out for me. Still grinning, he pulled a small baggie of white powder from the pocket he patted earlier. It appeared oddly similar to cocaine but I noticed it's texture seemed feathery, softer. After he made two neat little lines, he beamed back to me, extending a rolled bill.

My features scrutinizing, I asked, "What is that stuff?"

"It'll give you your wings, butterfly." The unkempt suit tittered with a wink.

He must have frequented Angelo's club, fully aware of who I was. I gave him a sly smile not caring to really get a straight answer. My fingers curled around the bill and I languidly lowered one end of the green twenty just above the white substance.

My eyes tore away from his to snort the neatly packed line in a fell swoop. A tingling sensation trickled up my nostrils instantly leaving an unsavory drip down my throat. Revulsion came over me as I took a long sip of my drink.

The man had a steady chortle going when he took his line. He dropped the bill dramatically on the table afterwards and sprawled back in his chair, searching his pant pockets. I rubbed a finger under my nose as he lit a cigarette.

"Just wait for it, princess." He puffed smoke. "And whatever you do, just enjoy the ride."

My throat suddenly felt very dry. When I went to take another sip from my glass I realized nothing but droplets touched my tongue. Did I really finish all of my cocktail?

I stood up hastily. "Thank you." I said. Or at least, I  _think_  I did. The scruffy suit never glanced my way again.

Trudging along the upstairs hall I could feel a prickling start to caress the tip of my toes, traveling up my entire body. It made me topple against the wall as my vision whirled my perspective. This hallway seemed a lot longer than I remembered.

The faint sounds of all of the party goers wafted through the air, mixing laughter with unintelligible speech. It created a dizzying effect that spun ceaselessly between my ears. A never-ending nightmare of phantoms danced with me all the way to my bedroom.

I slammed the door in a panic, shutting out the noise and colors. The deafening change drew attention to my rapidly beating heart. I surveyed my room with teetering sight wishing I could focus on anything in particular. The drug was beginning to make me light on my feet. I let out an unwarranted giggle.

My fingers splayed across my mouth as I pranced to the center of the room. Inhaling was like fueling myself for take off. I imagined taking one leap that'd whisk me away into the starry sky. I'd use those balls of light as steps to the ethereal moon where I would waltz with the magical man whom lived there. He must be so lonesome.

I sighed, the chill of the night enveloped me as I span in circles. It was exciting, this induced thrill. I swept towards the open balcony where the breeze originated. I ran my now sweaty palms along the railing. The view of this side of the house faced the garden that no one really frequented. Even though it was always tended to. I made a mental note to explore it one day.

Lingering from my thoughts my grey eyes spotted the sharply tipped iron gates enclosing the entire property. I stood, bending over on my tiptoes to examine each triangular point. If I went head first, impaling my brain, there was a likelihood I wouldn't survive. I've punctured organs before but nothing as serious as the heart or brain.

Then again, I tilted my head to the side, with the way I was feeling now I might just really soar off into the distance instead. What did it matter if either were to happen? I truly had nothing to live for.

I kicked my heels off and hooked a leg over the cold steel. Once I was completely over, I let my hands loosely grip the bar on either side of myself. Fluttering my eyes, I swayed letting the momentum of the breeze carry me. This was it. All of the events of my life had led up to this one, single means to an end. I didn't care what was to happen to me. I had nothing to gain but more importantly, I had nothing to lose. I'd die off with the rest of the family I personally buried.

I let go.

The weightless sensation was welcoming at first. It only lasted a second but it almost felt like I was flying. Then the fluid free fall abruptly reversed and I found myself being retracted back to the balcony. I opened my eyes before I was completely dragged over the black steel, watching the iron fence grow smaller.

Confused, I peered at the arms securing my waist, those familiar tattoos horrifying me.

"No" I struggled. "Let me go!"

He made no coherent sounds other than grunting as he lugged me into my bedroom. I twisted against him, trying to fend off his inhuman grip. "Stop it!"

He threw me unceremoniously onto the carpet and locked the balcony doors behind him. His face was menacing as he approached me. I crawled backwards still trying to get my bearings. His continued silence, terrifying.

The clown ripped me up from the floor and pinned me into my bed with a forearm. His weight pressed against my throat. He brought his face close to mine attempting to get a good sense of where I was in the midst of my trip. My floaty feelings instantaneously vanished.

He cackled in my face, "Angel dust?" Joker repositioned his hands, one to hold my shoulder down and another to parallel my visage to his. I was still tearing at his hands. "Who do you think you are?"

I wriggled my chin free, shaking, "No!"

He grinned and climbed fully onto the bed now placing a knee between my legs. He added more weight, initially subduing me. His hands never moved other than to grasp my neck this time. My eyes couldn't look away from his icy hues. "You don't get it, do you?"

His painted lips smiled as he let his thumb trace my bottom lip, the gleam of his metal teeth illuminating. "You're mine." He let our noses touch. "That means, you do what I  _want_  you to do. Whether that's sewing your pretty mouth shut or killing your entire family, doesn't matter. You  _do it_."

I didn't like the implication of sewing my mouth closed, but I knew what he meant. His breathing became ragged as he inched closer still. "And you die, when  _I_ say you die."

I let out a tiny exhale before he smashed his lips against mine. My right hand came up to grab at the shoulder of his halfway unbuttoned, button down. My instincts told me to push him off but my heart was like putty in his wicked embrace. He sent my head spinning, mentally and psychically exhausting me.

This hot and cold nature perplexed any understanding I fought to muster. He called Harley his number one girl yet here he was entangled with me. J's tongue prodded my mouth, demanding entrance. I let him in indulging his fervent lust.

His wanting mouth trailed heated bites and kisses to the dip of my neck. I sucked on my bottom lip wondering if it was just easier to give in. He pulled away to analyze my face. "You're thinking too much."

There it was again. "How do you always seem to read my mind?" I inquired, breathlessly.

He tugged on a strap of my dress. "I've figured it out, Chrysalis." My brows furrowed. "What I've really come to like about you."

Joker's hand stretched down between us, pulling at something in his pants pocket. A switch blade flicked out in between our faces. His capped teeth glinted beyond the object.

"You're potential." He poised before slashing the blade down the inside of my left forearm.

I screamed but he muffled me with his mouth as he held my arm still. My vocals were an unusual blend of pain and pleasure. The wound stung, soaking in the muggy air around us. However, this didn't stop the goosebumps running over my flesh with each contact he made. His free hand jerked at my dress.

A few minutes into this bloody mess he lifted from me to examine my arm. He threw his head back in a cackle. I was so out of breath, I couldn't even ask him why. Though I didn't have to wait long to find out.

Joker pulled my forearm into my line of sight, grinning. Amidst the smeared blood the inflicted wound had completely healed. It left no indication it was even there to begin with.

"Do you see it?" He gushed. "You could be beaten, shot, cut, or  _worse._  Who knows? But you'd still come out alive!"

I felt unsettled. "Do you envision doing all of these things to me?"

He closed his crazed eyes, letting his head fall back slightly. He was purely euphoric. More shivers accompanied the bumps along my skin. He inhaled and exhaled deeply before opening his blue eyes. A new hunger swirled in the depths of his soul.

"You could learn to like it." The clown brought the blade down the center of my dress. He purposely slide it close to the surface of my flesh to leave a beady trail in it's wake. His fingers peeled away the fabric from my chest. "Maybe even love it."

I found myself panting, aching to be touched. Something in the way he moved in his gentle, threatening nature left me wanting. I didn't have a chance to fear him because he just made me feel so  _good_. My nerve endings deciding what's best over my logic.

My fingers dared to slip behind each of his earlobes, cradling his face. He held my gaze with mirroring lust. It was my turn to let my thumb smooth over his moderately ajar mouth. He rarely seemed to fully close it and ever since the dressing room incident, I've wanted to caress that protruding bottom lip. I was elated he let me.

Joker set the knife down on the bedside table. His fingers worked the rest of the buttons on his shirt, peeling off the fabric. It was unbelievable how ripped he was. His body was so narrow and slender but his shoulders were broad. More tattoos adorned his pale skin. I reached to trace the grinning mouth until he caught me by the wrist.

He shook his head, "I think I've been generous enough for one day."

I bit at my bottom lip, he was torturing me. A mischievous smile played across those lips as he ran a hand from my abdomen, between my breasts, and curled his fingers around my throat. I couldn't contain my content sigh.

He brought my wrist to his mouth while admiring the squirm of my body. His facial features told me he was contemplating his next move. The irony. I was impatient though, this wasn't a game of chess. The tickle of his breathe sent electricity straight to my spine and I arched my hips.

This action caused him to growl. "Don't misbehave." He warned.

I pinched my bottom lip hard between my teeth, letting the blood drip from my mouth. His eyes instantly held excitement as he let my wrist drop. Was this all I had to do? Entertain his violent tendencies?

"Or do." He whispered before plunging forward for my lips. My willingness to indulge in his disturbed fantasies fueled his passion. He nipped at my neck again as his hands blindly tore the rest of my dress away. The clown's eager movements fumbled with the hook of his belt buckle.

I continued to roll into him letting my hands skim the top of his back. Mister J was so far lost in his deviant desires he didn't even bother to brush me away. His skin surprisingly soft beneath my touch.

His metal teeth scraped over my collar bone making my nails dig into his shoulders. My head fell back as his long digits skillfully pushed my lingerie to the side, finally getting his pants undone. I waited with blissful anticipation. He gave me a rough thrust.

I moaned, loudly, ensnaring my finger tips within his neon hair. His rhythm started out frantic and harsh, like the first time. Then he'd slow his pace letting me catch my breath before taking me all over again. I could already foresee this session being much longer.

Our lips met briefly as he let a hand travel to a breast. A fire ignited on my skin with every new area he stroked. I was so entranced in the moment that I didn't even care at how loud I was being. He didn't seem to mind either, although he was a lot quieter this time. No manic speech or slew of curses.

He grunted and hissed with each grinding motion. My legs held fast around his waist feeling tingling in my abdomen. Would he let me this time? My face flushed as I buried it into his neck.

My senses were so heightened that I became hyper aware of each sweaty, interaction between our flesh. I savored every minute of it. A mantra of a few words formed in my mind threatening to fall from my lips. It teetered up my vocal cords trying to tug at the corners of my mouth. It was becoming increasingly arduous to keep myself from bursting.

I wanted to cry and I wasn't entirely sure why.

I took a chance and bit back the word vomit into his neck, just below the ear. He exhaled letting my name carry with it. Well, almost.

"Chrysalis…"

It was barely audible but it was enough to unhinge me completely. I let the one thing I had ventured to contain flow repeatedly over the hand of cards tattooed near the crook of his neck. Over and over it poured in a feverish murmur.

He only chuckled heartily at my heated confession, both hands gliding up my frame to wrap around my esophagus. This time he meant to strangle me. His phantom eyebrows raised with his sinful smile. My finger tips coiled at his hands, realizing he was waiting for my permission.

 _Of course he was_. If I gave him the green light it would mean he'd have won. It'd mean he was right, as always.

His hips still swayed back and forth into me at a more leisurely pace. He let out a breathy huff, "Make up your mind, doll. I can't keep this up much longer."

There was nothing more satisfying then hearing his version of begging. One would argue it was nothing like that, just another manipulative way of getting what he wanted. The funny thing is, I didn't care. I'd let him have it all if it meant remaining this close to him. He had me. He had  _all_  of me.

"Do it." I flushed, my eyes fixed to his.

Joker's cackle was thunderous, echoing throughout the entire room. The pressure of his hold cut off my airway. Plopping sounds, like a fish out of water, escaped me. I know the whole point was to choke but that didn't stop my brain from trying to keep me alive.

Naturally, I wanted to thrash about and throw him off me. Resisting the urge became less difficult as my vision started to falter. From what I could make out of his face his teeth tugged at his lower lip, coming in with an aggressive finish.

I didn't witness it at all, however. I floated off into a sea of blackness. A glorious howl of pleasure becoming my only comfort through this endless night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd ya guys think? I wonder what Harley has to truly say about all of this? ;)
> 
> Stay tuned for the next chapter to find out! And again, thank you for all of the kudos/bookmarks. You're all awesome!


	12. The Other Woman

" _But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep_  
 _The other woman will never have his love to keep_  
 _And as the years go by the other woman will spend her life alone_ "

Lana Del Rey, " _The Other Woman_ "

* * *

When I started to come to, there was nothing but

deafening silence. I floated between time and space wondering if somehow he was actually successful at ending my life. Had he damn me to walk through this dark purgatory?

Just as I tried to center myself, a harsh shock wave rippled my entire being. My eyelids retracted and I gasped for air. Everything in my immediate view was blurred. I comprehended that I must still be alive but where exactly was I?

The familiar eggshell ceiling focused, reassuring me I was still in my own bedroom. My finger tips seized the light grey bed sheets letting all the feeling back into body. It was like a momentary sugar rush. Then a shadow obscured my peripheral.

I forced myself into a sitting position, clutching the sheets to my naked frame. Joker was staring out of the balcony window whilst he finished buttoning up his black shirt. My face grew hot remembering the events of only minutes ago. I brought the blanket up to the tip of my nose. How stupid was I?

All of those things I said. I felt so embarrassed. More so because he didn't say anything back, just laughed. My brows furrowed. Of course he did, I was the biggest joke of them all. Why hadn't I left this nonsense earlier? What was becoming of me?

My grey eyes snapped up with the detection of his movements. He let a bejeweled hand rest on the brass bulb at the foot of the bed. His face was a blank slate, maybe even a little bit angry. I had so many things I wanted to ask him but my body was frozen to one spot.

He gazed away and left the room. This seemed to become a pattern which only made things  _more_  awkward. I let out a tremendous sigh as I fell back into my pillows.

I must have drifted off to sleep while contemplating my life choices because the next thing I knew, a finger was stroking the tip of my nose. I groaned at the intrusion and turned away.

"Wakey, wakey." The voice giggled.

I could have sworn I felt my heart stop, knowing exactly who it was. My eyes shot wide open. A crazed grin was plastered on her face with her bat raised high. As it swiftly came down upon me I rolled off the bed taking the sheets with me.

"Aww come onnnn!" She whined. "You'll play with Mistah J, but not me?"

Harley leaped over the mattress to reach me. I scrambled to get to my feet as another swing almost made contact with my left foot. She glowered in rage. "Although our ideas of playtime seem to vary. I don't like it."

I pulled myself up by the window sill, still hugging the sheets around me. "I would imagine so." I huffed, out of breath.

Her face twisted, "Are you making fun of me?"

I was confused, "What? No!"

The clown girl swung her bat right into the glass of the window, cracking it severely. I fumbled backwards trying to find something to defend myself with. I should have been more prepared knowing it would eventually lead up to this.

The bat came crashing into the dresser mirror, shattering it. I continued to step back feeling the prick of the shards dig into my heels. She scowled at me, "Stop moving!"

I caught something glinting out of the corner of my eye. Gyrating my head real fast, I realized it was my butterfly knifes all neatly lined up on the bed side table. Why hadn't she just grabbed those instead?

WHACK!

The solid wood connected with my right arm sending me sailing towards the carpet. Harley broke out in a manic laughter while twirling the bat above her pigtails. "Ha! Ha! Got'cha!" She brought it down onto my right knee. "I'm gonna break all ya bones, let ya heal, and then  _break_  'em some more!"

Even though I cried out in pain I managed to swipe my left foot into her causing her to lose her balance.

She caught herself on the bed frame, vehemently spitting, "I'm gonna squash you, little bug."

I dragged my broken appendages along the carpet trying to reach my nightstand. I could feel the tingling sensation of my limbs healing. Lately, I've noticed it's been a lot faster. Then again, I've recently been getting hurt more. My fingertips reached for one of the handles on the knives.

Harley latched onto my right foot, tugging it hard enough to where she re-broke the knee but it actually set it in place. The shock made my hand bang against the end of the stand knocking some of my knives over. She started to climb on top of me.

"You're so annoying!" She grumbled.

I was flipped onto my back now, attempting to hold her at a distance. "Well, if it's any consolation to you, I didn't  _ask_  for any of this!"

"It's not!" She dropped the bat in favor of smacking me around instead. "He's  _my_  Puddin'! You ain't nothin' special!" I blocked a fist to the nose. "And you don't even  _try_  to deny any of it, ya tramp!"

I took the slap to the cheek. "Why would I?" She grabbed me by the shoulders to shake me around. "That'd make me a liar and isn't that worse?"

Harley stopped her rampage to glare at me. Her breath was heavy as she still fumed. "I liked you, Olive. I did. I thought we'd be fast friends but I just don't understand-"

"-And you think I do?" Her eyes became wide, listening. "I won't say I don't feel anything because I do, despite what's wrong and what's right, but you can keep him if that means me getting out of this mad house."

Suddenly her expression changed to worry as she leaned in real close. "Oh, no! You can't just  _leave_! If you do, he'll blame it on me!" Her eye twitched. "It'll be all my fault." She drew back with a wicked smile. "I've got a better idea!"

I gave her an inquiring look. The clown girl laced her fingers together. "You want out, he's gotta have a reason to toss ya!" Her eyes rolled up in irritation, blowing at a loose strand of hair. "As if betraying me wasn't enough." She shrugged nonchalantly. "Men." Then a fit of deranged giggles escaped her tiny form.

She might have been madder than The Joker himself. I waited calmly until she finished. The blonde sighed dreamily, "He loves to push my buttons." She brought her hands to my cheeks and pinched them. I winced. "We're going on a job soon, the three of us. All you have to do is fudge it up."

"Huh?" I asked between mushed cheeks.

"It's a small job." She continued, squishing my face in and out mindlessly with her hands. "Just some money at stake but he doesn't keep around anyone who fails him."

She pulled away from me, sitting up straight. "Sounds like a death wish." I commented.

She gave me a goofy smile. "You can't die, silly. So it doesn't matta'."

I propped myself up on my elbows. "We both know Joker's capable."

"You do this for me and I'll make sure you get out in one piece." She winked.

I couldn't figure out her angle. "But why? You hate me."

Harley frowned, " _Hate_  is such a strong word." She mulled it over while chewing on her bottom lip. Then she smiled again. "Appropriate, but you're more so a nuisance. A distraction, and me and Puddin' have big plans. I don't have time to dream up a million different ways to kill you."

I blinked my eyes for a few seconds before answering, "Fine. Whatever." Why should I care anyway?

Suddenly, she gasped, clenching a hand in front of her chin. "You're hair!" Oh how easily her attention was diverted. Her fingers outstretched to cling to a strip of my locks. Her light blues examined it thoroughly. "It's, it's so pretty!"

I followed her eyes to see this silver strand with purple undertones in between her skinny digits. "What the?" I pushed her off of me as I scrambled to the standing mirror. It was only one strip on the side of my head but it did not blend well with rest of my summer blonde hair.

I freaked, tugging at it. "What the hell is this?!"

Harley's face appeared beside my reflection. "I like it. I think it's kinda neat." She laughed wildly as she switched open a pocket knife and cut a sliver.

"Hey!" I turned to her.

I watched her prance to the door, only stopping to wriggle a few fingers in my direction. "See you at eight, toots." She continued her uncontrollable fit as she slammed the door behind her.

I looked incredulously at my own complexion. My skin wasn't any different, just that one piece of hair…or what was left now. I drew it from my head again. Clown girl was right, it  _was_  pretty, but why was it happening? It was like I was losing pigmentation. I curled my fist around it. This must be a side effect of the serum.

For the few years I've lived with this mutation I had never really suffered any major injuries. Up until now, where I'm pretty certain I've died twice and wounded on several accounts. Perhaps playing Harley's game  _would_  be my best option. I could stop anything else about myself from changing and move far, far away.

Thinking about it made my heart pang. I ignored it, opting to take a hot shower instead to clear my mind for tonight.

At around seven forty-five, there was a knock upon my door. I sat up from my bed that I had pretty much spent the whole day on. My stomach was too worked up to even eat.

"Come in." I called.

The door creaked open to reveal a henchman behind it. "Miss Pendragon, Joker and Miss Quinn are waiting for you downstairs."

I exhaled, feeling a little sad. "Is it that time already?"

"Yes, Miss."

I stood up, making sure my knives were secured on the inside of the leather jacket I was wearing. Then I slipped on my already laced combat boots and prepared for the short walk that would feel like an eternity. Regardless of what transpired between me and Mister J it never made it any easier to see him.

When I reached the top of the grand staircase the two of them were staring at me, waiting. Harley had a devious smile while Joker displayed a toothless grin.

"Ah, there she is." Joker greeted.

"The moth that flew too close to the flame." The clown girl added.

I stepped cautiously down the stairs. I had a feeling this night was going to be extremely uncomfortable. I dared to ask as my boot reached the last step. "What exactly are we doing?"

The clown prince pivoted away heading for the front doors. "Someone owes me a little bit of money. So we're going to go collect it."

Harley's fingers tightened around her bat that was slung over her shoulder. "And by little, he means  _a lot_!" She reiterated for him, adding emphasis.

He snapped his fingers and the blonde swivel on her heel to follow behind him. I did the same but kept a few feet of distance. I didn't sign up for any sucker punches. I'd do this favor for Harley because I felt somewhat obligated too. However, it didn't mean I'd have to be the brunt of every joke.

We piled into the back seat of another random throw away car. It was awkward to say the least. The clown girl made sure to be in the middle, wrapping her arms around his right one and letting her head fall onto his broad shoulder. He didn't seem to mind.

I rested my forehead against the window, watching the scenery change as we drove. It felt like hours before we pulled into a secluded spot through the woods. My brows furrowed, wondering where we were. I glanced over at Joker.

His usual smile was spread across his face as he and Harley stepped out of the vehicle. I looked around at everybody else slipping out too. I decided to do the same, trying to catch up with the clown prince and his pet.

"J, where are we going?" I probed.

He walked a little farther before halting at an opening of trees. He motioned a white glove for me to come over. As I approached, I saw that it was actually a clearing where a large, old house stood. In the front, a few men dressed in black suits holding rather large guns patrolled the area. This must have been someone's home.

"Did I mention that the man who owes me a bit of money doesn't necessarily  _want_  me to collect it?" The clown beamed at me.

"So what are we gonna do?"

He chuckled softly, "Oh, it's what  _you're_  gonna do, little bug."

I didn't quite understand. Harley cleared that up real quick as she chimed in, "You're gonna distract 'em."

"Percisely, my dear Harls." He gave her shoulders a squeeze. "I've got my men surrounding the place but just to be sure good ole' Moretti doesn't have any tricks up his sleeves, you're gonna go out there and avert their attention. Just for a minute or two."

I wanted to protest. There were several of those men and they seriously had really big guns. If I ran away now, would that be the failure Harley was asking for? I searched her eyes. She gave me a small nod side to side.

I begrudgingly agreed. "Okay."

Harley's eyes lit up."Great!" And she prematurely pushed me out through the bushes. It was hard enough to send me stumbling onto my knees. I heard a series of guns cock as I looked up to greet the men.

Shit.

"Lost your way, little girl?" One of the men pointed at me.

I rose slowly with my hands by my head. "Hey fellas, funny thing is, I did."

The one with the beard, whom I'll affectionally call MacGruff, chortled under his breath. "And miraculously ended up here?" He brought the gun closer to my forehead. "I don't buy it."

I had to think fast, "Really? I mean, theres a major road not too far off from here. My GPS, stupid thing, told me to turn down this other road and I broke down. My car, let me tell you, what a heap-"

"-I  _know_  the road." MacGruff cut me off.

I gave a nervous laugh, "Well then you can help me fix my car, right?" I dropped my chin a tad so the gun wasn't alined anymore. "Or let me use a phone at least?"

He jabbed the metal at my shoulder, "Show me the car."

"Of course." I made a half turn so I could keep an eye on him and the rest of his goons. I knew I couldn't bring them straight to Joker. Another distraction was required of me. I reached into the inside of my leather for my knives. I repositioned myself in a way where they couldn't see my hand in my jacket. Then I made my move, fully aware of what it would entail.

"Oh, by the way…" I quickly leaped off the far right of me, away from my twisted companions. I threw two knives at the group catching some men in the jugular. Shots rained out as I hit the ground. I felt a sting in my right arm.

Suddenly, more gun shots fired to counter the ones aiming for me. Through the crook of my elbow I saw Joker's men take down the several that were Moretti's. By drawing their attention on me, they were blind sided by the villains behind them. I had successfully made them easy pickings.

The clown and his other half stepped from the shadows of the bushes, pleased. "Well done, Olive ole' girl!" Mister J complimented.

I sat on my knees. Harley still had a smile on her face which told me this wasn't the part where I was suppose to  _fudge_  it up. Joker squatted to take a peep at my arm. I'd definitely been hit. "It's just a scratch. You'll live."

After his  _doctoral_  analysis, he stood back up to bring his focus to Frost. He had another man in his clutches as he dragged him down the front stairs. It was a pudgy Italian wearing a vintage, white suit. That must have been Moretti.

Joker's face brightened, "Oh look, our gracious host!"

Frost tossed the man into the dirt as the men that had accompanied him formed a half circle. Moretti was terrified. "J-J! What a surprise!"

Joker punched him square in the jaw. "No need for semantics, let's get straight to the point. You're a dead man, my tubby Italian friend."

Holding his hand off to the side a small gun was placed in his palm. The large man coughed up blood as he proceeded to crawl towards the front steps. Frost grabbed the man by the shoulders and held him in place. Moretti started to wail.

"J! I was planning to pay you! I swear! Just give me a few more da-"

The butt of the gun cracked against Moretti's chubby cheek. He flopped onto his side lurching in pain. Mister J's eyes shined with malice. "It's been a  _year_ , Moretti!"

Harley scoffed, "And he's asking you for an extension? Sounds pretty greedy to me. Tsk, tsk, tsk." She waggled a finger.

Joker's smiled turned crooked. "Girl's got a point. I've been more than charitable."

The blonde stepped closer to the man in fetal position on the ground. "You've always struck me as the type'a guy who takes advantage of kindness and Mistah J is the kindest I know!"

She let her bat come down onto Moretti's knee. He cried out in agony as Joker laughed in hysterics. I just stood there, watching. It was like a game of "good cop, bad cop" only they were both "bad cop". One influencing the other.

Mister J dramatically sighed, twirling the handle of the gun round his finger. "Oh well, it's been fun. Times up! Olive!" He stretched it out towards me.

My expression changed to bewilderment. "Wha? Me?"

He half turned to give me a stern look. Harley did the same only she was nodding her head vertically. That was my cue. I involuntarily took the gun from his hands and stood before Moretti's battered form. The bulbous man began to cry.

My pupils caught J pointing two fingers to his forehead saying, "Right between the eyes, Chrysalis"

I raised the gun, trying to aim at my target. The metal felt heavy in my hands making it difficult to focus. When I thought I had it lined up I second guess myself and tilted it lower, higher, to the right, to the left. The anxiety was thick with expectation.

Then, just as I was about to pull the trigger, Joker yelled, "Stop!" He got directly behind me, his voice dripping with venom. "Have you never shot a gun before? Your aim is dissatisfying." He reached long arms around me, wrapping his fingers over mine. I could literally hear Harley choke as he brought his lips to my ear. "You want to line it up like this."

I had never felt so suffocated in my entire life. With his body so close to mine under the daggers Harley was  _clearly_ staring, I could have drowned in my own discomfort. She put a stop to this real fast.

"J! I'm bored to tears ova' here. Just let the girl shoot!"

He glared behind himself at her, "Harley…"

I took my chance and shot at the large man. It startled everyone making me cringe. I missed him, of course. Realizing this, Moretti scrambled to get away through the front door. Frost hastily pursued him.

Joker promptly backhanded me across the face and I dropped the gun. He sauntered over to Harley balling the front of her shirt in his fist. "Are you satisfied?"

The clown girl appeared confused, "What?"

He made their noses touch. "Don't play dumb with me, Harls. I knew about your little game. Only," He glanced at me as I held a hand to my cheek. "I didn't think she'd be  _that_  stupid to play along. You're success rate is remarkably low."

To my ultimate surprise, she just shrugged, unfazed. "Yeah, ya got me."

He let her go and walked back over to me, smacking me from the other side this time. I tripped into the base of a tree. He knelt down to retrieve the gun I dropped, grumbling under his breath. "You want something done you gotta' do it yourself." The green haired man peered over his shoulder at the blonde. "No more games, kitten."

She smiled, "Alright Puddin'."

I was floored. Had I just been duped?

As Joker moved towards the same entrance Moretti had escaped to, he called over his shoulder, "Let's go, baby."

Harley giggled with girlish charm, only pausing for a second in front of me. She tapped a finger to the tip of her nose, winking. "Thanks."

Then she continued to skip over to her King as they both entered the rickety estate. I clung to the tree bark trying to piece together what had just happened. I had followed her plan and was now in Joker's bad graces. However, it wasn't enough to dispose of me, just trap me in a corner with no allies. I basically burned bridges for her.

I heard shots resonating from within the home but somehow Moretti's death seemed so minuscule to me at this particular moment. Forget that he was a human being made of flesh and blood. I was more concerned with what fresh hell would be awaiting me afterwards. He'd never know it, but he was the lucky one.


	13. You Can Be The Boss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I just got back from vacation so sorry this took a bit to update. A few side notes about this chapter, firstly, the painters I name within the chapter are made up. They are not actual artists nor persons. This is just for story purposes, so forth and so on. Secondly, I do use light French in which I did use Google translate. SO, apologies in advance if it is not a hundred percent.
> 
> Other than that, please, continue enjoying the story! Reviews always welcome! :)

" _You can be the boss, daddy_

 _You can be the boss_  
 _Bad to the bone, sick as a dog_  
 _You know that I like, like you a lot_  
 _Don't let it stop._ "

\- Lana Del Rey, " _You Can Be The Boss_ "

* * *

I let my fingers methodically strum the guitar in my hands,

humming with the notes. If I had to be holed up in this place I figured I'd get back into the groove of writing. Since the other day, Joker hadn't said much towards me. Towards anyone, really.

He must have had a master plan mapped out for me but learned very quickly that I was easily influenced. Well, sort of. My problem was that I tried to justify why things happened in the world. It wasn't hard to make me feel guilty for the choices I made.

I imitated confidence because I didn't actual have any. An imagined starlet continuously putting on a show. He didn't like that. He seemed to envision a version of me that I just don't think could exist…and yet…

I rested my chin on the body of the guitar. The psycho that exuded from me back at Carmen's motel told a different story. She was about the same person who murdered Donnie and the same person who hurt Arnie. If I told you that that power wasn't intoxicating, I'd be lying.

And J sensed that. Maybe even from day one. He did pay a hefty sum for the serum running through my veins after all. Why not turn me into an almost undefeatable killer?

I set the guitar down onto the bed. I suddenly wasn't in the mood to write anymore. Not that I had made much progress anyway.

I flopped back into the mattress attempting to understand my place in this universe. I was beginning to wonder what awful thing I had done in a past life to deserve this life. I reached, I really did.

 _"_ _You're a good girl. That's why it happened to you."_ Angelo's words ghosted through my brain.

 _Was I though?_  I knew my heart was in the right place. However, my actions were so obscure from my original train of thought. I may not have been dipped in a vat of chemicals or blasted with electricity but there was no denying this slow burn of change.

A loud slam shook the entire house as loud voices followed after it. I jolted up right, picking out one of the voices as J's. I tiptoed to the door to crack it open slightly.

"I don't care what it takes, you  _find_  her!" Joker spat. I don't think I've ever had the dubious pleasure of hearing him so vexed.

"Sir, we've sent our best men-"

A gun shot rang out followed by a thud followed by a distraught laugh. "I'm sorry fellas, did I hire you for emotional support? To tell me things I  _already_ know? Hm?"

I could make out low murmurs of "No, sir" from what I was assuming were the remaining men. I gathered the courage to leave the safety of my room as I met the scene from the upstairs railing. Joker was soaked to the bone with a gun shaking in his grasp.

To the left of him, an unmemorable henchman laid sprawled in a pool of his own blood. The other goons stood there with their heads bowed, unmoving. Or rather, too scared to move. Mister J was especially unhinged tonight.

"Excellent." He tossed the hunk of metal in his hand to the floor. "Now clean up this mess!"

They all scrambled to do as he ordered, bumping into one another like fools. J turned in my direction with a sour expression on his mug. He must have had eyes of ice because I immediately felt myself freeze to this spot. His mouth hung open slightly as he trudged up the stairwell.

My grey hues remained on him his entire ascension up the marble steps. I started to notice little details about him the closer he came. He had small, fresh cuts on his face and with each step he left a trail of water in his wake. He definitely went for a swim.

Then I noticed something else, where was Harley? The two of them went out tonight. She proclaimed it was their "date night" but to me, going to a club that he owned and practically visited every day didn't seem so intimate. To each their own I suppose.

My heart pounded thinking he was going to stop and say something or  _worse_. He didn't. Instead, he looked through me as he walked right past my presence. Still following his movements, I watched him retreat to one of his many offices. This was bad.  _Real_  bad.

I debated whether I should pursue him or not. I was absolutely terrified at the prospect of what he'd do in such a state. However, the curiosity of what happened to his Queen itched at my insides. And then, there was this strange need to comfort him.

I exhaled, closing and opening my eyes once. I was trying to gather enough courage to even knock on his door. Although, when I got there, the door was already opened a sliver. I knocked anyway.

No answer.

Peeking through, I could see him moving objects around on the floor. I knocked again. He didn't even flinch, just continued to shuffle about. So I pushed the door gently. "J?"

When I was fully inside his monotonous behavior became more apparent. The clown was gather similar objects in the room and placing them side by side on the ground, forming a half circle. It was pretty extreme.

I clenched my hand to my chest, "Mister J?"

He finally paused, realizing I was in the room now. He glared at me sideways.

"I'm sorry."

He chuckled, "For what?" His attention now on me.

Good question. I'm not even sure why I said it. Things were just falling out of my mouth lately.

He sighed, placing the random hunting knife onto his desk. "She's gone, Olive."

My hands cupped my mouth. Was he insinuating what I thought? His icy blues met my eyes. "That damn Bat! I don't know where he's taken her…but when I find out…" He slammed a fist into the wood of the desk top.

I could see he had definitely broke skin. I instinctively advanced on him, showing genuine concern. "Mister J, your hand-"

"-Bah, what does it matter?!" He shoved papers off his desk.

I halted several feet away from him. Something inside me ached to help and yet another part of me wanted to watch him suffer. His eyes shifted abruptly, honing in on my person. For a minute, I legitimately believed he had read my mind again.

Instead, he tugged at a chunk of my hair. "What's this?"

My features displayed confusion. I traced his fingertips and the silver strands that sat there. I frowned. There were more. "I'm not really sure why that happens."

Joker lost himself for moment. It was like my hair had become a crystal ball where he'd find the answers to all of his unanswered questions. His fingers played within the texture of it, admiring it's pearlescent beauty. Then he snapped back to reality. His eyes now gazing into my soul.

These seconds alone always triggered a funny feeling within me. Regardless if it was mutual or not, I couldn't help but  _want_  him. These little windows of silence allowed me to read only his body language and nothing else. He could hide his emotions behind a smile but in times like this there were no distractions to prevent me from really  _seeing_  him.

His right hand gripped the underside of my face, letting the hair strand go. I felt feverish as he leaned in for a kiss. But before our lips locked, Frost barged in with urgent news.

"We've found her, sir. They have her locked up in Belle Reve."

We both pulled away quickly from one another. I faced my back to Frost while Joker had his hands on his hips, grinning. "Excellent." He licked his lips. "They're that threatened by her, huh?"

Neither of us spoke as he clapped his hands together. Joker began to pace the room. "We should formulate a plan. Belle Reve has quite the security. It could take at least a month to bust ole' Harls out."

"A month?" Again, I spoke without thinking.

Joker continued to smile, "She knows how these things work. She'll understand."

I nodded, "Right"

He came up to me, resting slender digits on the side of my cheek. "Now if you'll excuse us, pet, we've got business to talk."

I looked between Mister J and Frost. I feigned a smile while making my exit. My brain didn't feel attached as I reentered my room. Instead, my cranium had become a jar for pickling the soft organ. Why did I have no self control?

I face planted into my pillows, cursing my indecisiveness. I couldn't help but feel exhausted even though I was holed up in my room all day. Something about that man was ever draining. Rolling onto my back, I let myself drift off to sleep and Joker run rampart within my dreams.

The next morning, as I awoke, I could feel a weight shift in the mattress. At the end of the bed my feet seemed to slope a little to the left. I scrunched my eyelids for a few seconds before fluttering them open. There, a painted face greeted me.

"Good morning, Chrysalis." Joker's metal grin stretched from ear to ear.

I rolled my eyeballs, unamused. "Why can't I ever just wake up alone?" I twisted myself more into my pillows.

He laughed, "Isn't that what you've been doing your entire life anyway?"

I shot him a glare. "That's not what I meant."

He stood up to pace in front of my bed, his fingers delicately gliding over miscellaneous objects around the room. I sat up, adjusting the straps of my shirt. "What time is it?"

"I've got a job for you." He said slowly.

I arched an eyebrow, "Another one to mess up?"

His ghostly features turned in my direction. "Oh no, my little bug. It's actually something I believe you are well versed in." I looked apprehensive as he leisurely strolled my way. "Originally I was going to take Harls for fun but-" He paused to stare off in the distance before returning his focus on me. "-well,  _you know_."

Joker waved his hands about dismissively. Then he placed his palms on the mattress on either side of me, leaning in. His breath tickled my nose, "Heres the thing, I'm making a rather  _prestige_  purchase today. Well, over seeing it technically. A painting, I'm told, that will make me millions."

I rested my chin on my curled knuckles. "I didn't know you dabbled in such things, Mister J."

The clown straightened up with a hearty laugh, out stretching his arms. "Look around, doll face. If you haven't noticed yet, I like the finer things in life."

I smiled. He wasn't wrong. This single room alone could prove he had money to splurge. I swung my legs over the edge, interested. "So where do I fit in to this puzzle?"

His arms drooped, "Why, you're gonna tell me if I'm being swindled or not. I usually have a guy for that but why pay him when I've got you?"

I'm almost certain that was supposed to be a compliment. I looked down at the carpet, swinging my feet back and forth. I knew a thing or two about art. I read a lot books and visited the museums when I could. It's one of those things among many that separated me from the small townies.

I beamed at Joker, "Alright, let's go."

"Good girl." He cooed, running a knuckle briefly under my chin.

He insisted I dressed like the aristocrat I so badly wanted to be with a baby pink cocktail dress that hugged my kneecaps and a pair of nude heels to match. Feeling fancy I ventured to add some gaudy jewelry which he seemed to approve of.

I was probably the most elegant arm candy he'd had in several years compared to Harley. She was wild and inept where I could be wild but poised. Composed and vindictive. By no means was I a  _good_  girl. However, I sure could play one.

This was all my job, though. I'd been playing this part for years.

My heels echoed loudly through the grand marble hall we walked. This partner of his sure had exquisite taste. Everything was lavished in expensive Italian silk and French architecture. It dripped with stone hues and reds to accent. I was almost even afraid to breath around such riches, it was overwhelming.

Mister J seemed unfazed, naturally. He probably had the equivalent to this only didn't feel the need to show it off in such a way that this man did. It was one of the many things I respected about him.

Our arms were looped as we approached a huge room with many windows and many paintings hanging from the walls. A short, thin man sat behind an ornate desk. He had a baby face but his tired eyes told you he was older than his features let on. He gestured to the seats in front of him.

"Ah, sit. Please, Mister Joker." A French tongue clicked.

His green eyes trailed my body as we sat in the unreasonably comfy chairs. I could tell he had questions but knew better than to ask. J rested either elbow on the arms of the chair letting his fingers intertwine. I followed his gaze to a painting on a stand, just a few feet off from the Frenchman. It was a gorgeous view of some European cathedral with an 18th century woman crying on the steps.

The more I stared the more I felt for her.

Pushing at his tiny spectacles the man in front of us coughed, "Yes, well, this is the artwork I had mentioned. A Jacquard DuBois one of a kind."

I tilted my head. A Jacquard DuBois piece? I'd never heard nor seen such a painting and DuBois was quite well known. I bent forward curiously.

Joker noticed this and grinned. "You wouldn't mind if we had a closer look, would you Benny ole' boy?"

Benny, presumably Bernard, fidgeted in his seat. "Why of course! I'll have you know though that I've had it certified myself. With this undiscovered treasure we'll make a fortune, Mister Joker!"

J hunched over. "Oh I'll be rich either way, I have no doubts about that. What I'd like to know is why you'd want to do business with me in the first place."

You could tell Bernard tried to understand what he meant by "rich either way". I did and I prayed this nervous man had an inkling of what he was doing. I stood up to get a closer look at the artwork. It was definitely a beautiful piece. The strokes so carefully placed blending the brown hues together.

I reached the tip of my finger out to trace the signature in the corner of the art. Then Benny shouted, "Ah, Miss! Do not touch  _please_! Your finger oils with ruin the work."

Joker chimed in, "Oh come on now, Benny. My girl here is a professional."

Benny's face turned a shade of red, "Then she would know  _not_  to touch the artwork."

I stepped back from the painting to glare towards the Frenchman. "That would be true  _if_  this painting were an authentic DuBois. It's not."

Mister J howled with laughter as Benny tried to compose his rage. "Exusez-moi?! And what does a little girl like you know?!"

I placed a hand on my hip. "I may not have a degree in art but any idiot who is well versed in DuBois work knows he never actually capitalizes the 'B' in his last name and he never signs it so clearly in a corner. It's always within the strokes of the work."

The man looked taken aback. "This is outrageous!"

"Is it, though? All of Jacquard DuBois' work is accounted for and hanging in museums all over the world. There are only a select few which are owned by private buyers. So unless you've made some national discovery, you ain't got shit." I slammed a palm onto his desk, making him flinch.

J picked at his ear, "So how did you come across it, Benny boy?"

Our eyes bore holes into Bernard as fumbled to find the right words. Another painting on the wall caught my line of vision. I clacked my way to a 36"x48" oil artwork of a dark castle painted in front of an intricate of stars. This one I knew well.

"However, this Margot Bisset is exceptionally  _real_."

The clown's head turned my way, "How much is it worth, baby?"

"Not as much as a Dubois piece, but still an excellent find." I winked.

"We'll take it!" He grinned.

Benny was having none of it. He stood up to protest, "Y-you can't! It's not for sale!"

Mister J grabbed the man by the scruff of his sports coat. "I assure you I  _can_  and I  _will._ "

He pushed the man back into his seat where he clumsily fell to the floor. With a snap of his fingers, Joker's men gathered into the luxurious room. I watched as Bernard tried to reach for a panic button under his desk. I dug my heel into the back of one of his chubby hands.

As he cried out in pain, I growled, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Mister J gave a sickly sweet smile as he made his way over to us. He tugged on the collar of his button down and pulled at ends of his suit jacket before squatting eye level with the Frenchman. Bernard was visibly shaking at this point.

"Benny, Benny, Benny, you're in way over your head."

"Mister Joker, this is madness! Who even is this woman anyway?! I can-"

J placed the tip of his gun in Benny's mouth. "Oh, my apologies did I not introduce my  _papillon d'argent_?" He mocked him in a broken French. "She's my current right hand woman-" He paused to rethink that. "-or left. A man could use both." He chortled at his own joke as he cocked his gun. "But you can just call her,  _Papillon_." Then he ended his life with a loud bang, commenting afterwards, "Or not."

My heart soared at his words. I recognized that I had finally flourished in his eyes. Papillon was French for butterfly and from what I could remember he'd never called me anything even close to it.

Suddenly, drunk with power while watching him change his mind and direct all of his men to just take everything to sell off, I understood where I wanted to be. Where I fit in. Where I belonged. I didn't want to be just his  _left_   _hand_  girl. I wanted to strive to be his  _only_.


	14. Dangerous Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Been a bit since I updated but I've just been so swamped with work. Any-who, I hope you enjoy this next chapter and that you're all still with me reading this. :) As a side note, I want to thank the kudos and bookmarks I've been getting.  
> Also, forgive me for the constant summary change. I'm just trying to work out the best one. Haha!
> 
> As always, PLEASE don't hesitate to leave a review! I do enjoy reading your feedback which in turn helps me improve. Thank you all again!

" _Baby, I'm a four alarm fire,_  
 _And I'm what you desire,_  
 _Like a siren in the night (Don't niro-niro)_  
 _Baby you's a man on a wire,_  
 _Risking all that you've got,_  
 _For the love of your life (You're my hero, hero)_

 _Let me be your dangerous girl_ "

\- Lana Del Rey, " _Dangerous Girl_ "

* * *

The next few days seemed to pass by like a dream.

Although I didn't see much of Mister J, when he was around, he'd invite me to dine with him or have a drink or two with some of his business partners. Nothing too serious but enough to let me know he didn't mind my company. I felt like I had reached a new plateau. These little moments allowed us to grow closer.

Today, I was out in the garden stretching my legs on a stone bench. My toes wiggled with the breeze as my fingers lazily caressed all of the flowers surrounding me. I couldn't recall the last time I had felt so relaxed.

Closing my eyelids, I let my head fall back as the sun warmed my skin. It was one of those cool end of summer days. Hot enough to not wear a jacket but the breeze had a crispness reminding you that maybe you should have worn stockings with that dress. I scolded myself silently while welcoming the goosebumps.

I gently brought the back of my left hand to my forehead, humming lowly to myself. I became lost in my own thoughts when suddenly, I felt a tickle at the tip of my nose. My eyelashes fluttered opened to view the iridescent purples of flower petals. Beyond that, a silver grin.

"Good morning, little bug." Joker greeted, twirling the stem.

I sighed with content and smiled, "Morning Mister J." I wrapped my fingers around an empty part of the stem to take the flower from him. "It's such a beautiful day."

"Yes" His eyes glinted as he pulled his hands away to place behind his back. He began to pace around me. "And it'll be even better."

I sat up, laying the petals to my nose. "How's that?"

"Well, my little papillon, today's the day we get one step closer to bustin' good ole' Harls out." His smile widened as I drew my legs in so he could sit.

I frowned, not entirely meaning too. "What do you mean? So soon?"

He let his tattooed digits trace nonsense at the top of my foot. "Turns out, I know a guy-" He paused to look airily around him. "- _who_  knows a guy that just so happens to be a security officer at Belle Reve." His blues quickly met my greys. "An Officer Griggs."

"Mmm, seems lucky."

He chuckled softly behind his smile, both of us knowing the actual truth. He looked away, staring off into the vast green. His fingers now clasped around my ankle.

"Well, I found out a few things, Olive, that has me a little… _on edge._ " His grip tightened as did my own on the stem. His eyes were a darker shade now as they glared into mine. "An  _Amanda Waller_  is organizing some screwball task force of baddies to fight other baddies so the good guys don't have to."

I lowered my gaze. "Sounds like the heroes are slacking."

"Doesn't it?" J's grin was twisted. "That's not even the worst of it."

I brought the petals to my lips. "Oh?"

"Oh no, they've recruited Harley and to make sure she doesn't step out of line-" His grip started to hurt the skin of my ankle. "-they've implanted a nano bomb. Do you know what that means?"

I winced slightly at the pain, "No"

Joker leaned in so close that our noses almost touched and whispered, "They want to hurt my pumpkin pie.  _No one_  touches the things that are  _mine_.  _No one_ except me."

I nodded, "I know."

He removed his hand and smiled again. "Of course you do, that's why you're coming with me." J got up to walk away.

"Hm? I'm what?"

He turned around with his hands behind his back again. "This  _Amanda Waller_  and her lackeys clearly want to push my buttons. I won't play her games nor let her pick off the things that are important to me. We're going to be doing a bit of traveling, my dear. So I want you in my sights or accompanied with Frost at all times. Just until we're all back home safe. Got it?"

He may have referred to us as  _things_  but I could still hear the odd affection to it. It warmed my soul as I rose, flower between my fingers, and planted a small kiss on his right cheek. He eyed me curiously.

"Got it." I answered, batting my eyelashes as I slinked back inside the house.

We were set to take a private jet down to Louisiana an hour after Joker and I's conversation. Belle Reve was located within one of it's swamps but Frost learned that our security officer would be at a local casino tonight. Apparently, Griggs had the night off which gave us ample opportunity to catch him for a chat.

Mister J drummed his fingers impatiently against the inside of the car door. I sat next to him hugging my shaggy faux fur coat in awe as I took in my new surroundings. As if the private jet wasn't enough, I had never been out of state before. Granted, I was only passing through it, it still didn't change the fact that this was all a wonderland to me.

"What's our plan of action, boss?" Frost asked cooly.

"I'd love to pluck every single tooth out of that empty skull of his, grind them to dust, and feed it to him." He sucked in a copious amount of air through gritted teeth, then released it in one big sigh. " _But_ , we need some information. I'm sure our boys there have already persuaded the staff to let us commence our business as we please."

"Just pull him out when we get there?"

I paused my window sightseeing for a moment to watch J's other fist curl in an out. "Precisely."

"Won't that make a scene?" There I go again, speaking without meaning too.

J's baby blues shifted ever so leisurely in my direction. Frost answered for him. "It won't matter. Most of the people in these places are glad to see a belligerent player escorted out."

I tilted my head, "Belligerent?"

"He's quite the loud mouth womanizer." J's eyes had focused back outside his window.

 _Womanizer._  The gears in my brain began to turn. "But still, why risk it?" I glanced down at my fingertips as I threaded them together. A nervousness filled me as I spoke. "I could lure him in the right direction." My irises peeped at the clown's reaction finding him meeting my gaze again. I couldn't read his face. "Where ever you needed me to bring him, I could do it within an hour."

Unexpectedly, J laughed throatily. He went on for a few minutes before being able to speak. "Oh, Olive, that's very kind of you but Daddy's got this. You sit tight and look pretty."

I don't know why, but the way he said it made my blood boil. It was evident he still didn't take me seriously. He could dine with me, converse with me, kill in front of me,  _watch_  me kill,  _fuck me_  for all that it's worth but he didn't wanna let me lead. Didn't want me to give him a reason to thank me for.

The car grew silent once more as I observed with careful eyes the buildings we passed. When we got there, I'd show him. I was more than capable.

My fingers now gripped the door handle. "What does this Griggs look like anyway, Mister J?"

"Why?" I could feel his glare boring holes into my skin.

"Just curious. I want to know who to keep my eye out for." I didn't dare look away from the window.

"Couldn't miss that tacky white suit, that's for sure." Frost said with a hint of amusement.

"Mm." The clown made little to no acknowledgement of either of us. Was he reading my mind again? I couldn't let him unnerve me. Not this time.

My heart became heavy with pounding when I saw neon lettering approach the right side of the vehicle. I was seated on the left, so if I was going to pull this off, I had to be quick. Before the car came to a complete stop I unlocked the door and ran out into the street, dashing around. I couldn't hear J's shouting until I was pushing my way into the casino entrance.

Part of me wished I had thought this through more, but another part reminded me that I had a lot left to prove. Whether there would be serious repercussions, didn't matter. It was time for me to embrace my strengths to show what an asset I could potentially be.

He'd thank me one day. Even if that day as far and few between.

The casino looked like any other casino in the cities. Only difference was the choice of low lighting which made it seem seedier. Different choices of gambling were spread out over the vast, open room. People gathered by the droves around card tables and the slot machines were fitted with mostly older people trying to avoid the angry gamblers. They had their drinks in cup holders as they pulled the shiny lever multiple times.

I was never a person who saw the allure of wasting money only to  _maybe_  win some of it back. Then again, I never had money to waste. I use to watch some of the boys from Angelo's crew spend their entire paychecks inebriated at the casino just outside of Gotham. It always ended with a thrown drink and a temper tantrum.

As I pushed my way through the thickets of people a man in a white suit was having a disagreement with a woman at the bar. He ran his fingers through his facial hair while trying to lay his free hand gently on her upper arm. The woman immediately lost her shit and brushed off his hand as they began to exchange more heated words.

The man, who I now was assuming was Griggs, got in her face a little and she backed up to grab her stuff. He reached for her again but she knocked his advances with a heavy swing and flipped him off before she rushed out. The word "slut" echoed over the obnoxious dance music.

"Classy." I scoffed.

Men, or rather  _boys_  like Griggs were like shooting fish in a barrel. They all had the same misogynistic tendencies. If she was showing skin, she was asking for it.

I let my coat fall over my shoulders as I grabbed a complimentary lollipop that I noticed at the bar. I unwrapped it quickly, discarding the paper to the floor. Popping it in my mouth, I pulled up a seat next to the perv as he eyed the asses of passing women.

As I waved my hand to get the attention of the bartender I noticed in my peripheral that I had caught Griggs' interest as well. Excellent.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asked.

"Rum and coke, please." I flashed a grin.

Griggs let a heavy hand fall onto the counter beside me. "Put the lady's drink on my tab." He gave me a sloppy smile.

I rolled the lolly between my teeth, giggling. "You don't have to do that."

"And you don't have to be so gorgeous." He outstretched a palm. "Yet, here you are."

Internally I wanted to vomit, externally I feigned appreciation. "Aw, well thanks. You should let me buy next round."

He waggled a drunken finger at me. "All I need is your  _fine_  company."

We shared a laugh before I suggested, "In that case," I sucked the lollipop in watching his eyes follow the movements of my mouth with anticipation. Then I let it slide over my lips agonizingly slow hearing a small groan escape him. My tongue trailed after, tasting the sweet flavor of strawberry. "How about a shot?"

His ears pricked. "I like the way you think! You like whiskey?"

"Love it." I cooed.

He winked and flagged down the tender for shots. After he ordered, he leaned the left side of his body against the bar, propping his head on a curled fist. "I don't think I've seen you around here before. Where have you been hiding all my life?"

I giggled again, "I'm from out of state. Heard Louisiana was the place to be."

He snorted as he took a sip of his beer. "Not if you were in my line of work, lady."

"Oh?" I twirled the lollipop between my digits. "What kind of work is that?"

He tugged at the collar of his suit and hunched in really close, whispering, "Well, I hate to brag, but I'm a captain security officer at Belle Reve. It holds the most dangerous meta humans and super villains of all time. And I have to keep those suckers in line." He raised an eyebrow. He was so full of himself but at least I knew for sure I had the right guy.

I gave him a shocked look, "So you're like a superhero then. In your own kind of way." I popped the lolly back into my mouth.

Griggs mulled this over for a second, standing up straight. He clearly never thought of it that way, but he liked it.  _A lot._

The bartender placed our shots onto the counter. Grigg's cupped his hand around the glass, answering. "Yeah, I guess so." He raised the shot in my direction. "Protecting babes like you from filthy savages, one at a time."

A wicked smile grew on my face as I raised my shot to clink with his, momentarily holding the stick candy in my left hand. We threw back our glasses, slamming them onto the counter top afterwards. If only he knew what  _filthy savage_  I was accompanied by tonight.

"Wooh!" He made a sour face as he shook off the heavy after taste. Then he clapped his hands together. "Hey little lady, hows about being my good luck charm for the night?"

I washed my palate with my forgotten rum and coke. "Alright, cowboy. What's your dig?"

He snickered mischievously while rubbing his palms. "Tables."

I pounded back my drink to prepare myself for the next forty-five minutes. If I was going to listen to him attempt to butter me up the whole time, I at least wanted a good buzz going. I licked my lips intently then dropped my unfinished lolly into the empty glass. If Griggs could smile any wider his face would split in two.

His eager fingers latched onto my wrist as he practically dragged me across the floor. We settled down at a black jack table where a few other unsavory looking people were playing. Even though they were all clearly in the middle of game, Griggs demanded the dealer lay him out some cards.

For a second, I really thought the Belle Reve's officer was going to get shanked. However, to my surprise, the dealer finished up the round and skipped the others to deal Griggs in. The smug man gave me another wink. He must have had an in with the owner.

That wouldn't stop Mister J, unfortunately.

As Griggs began his mantras of "hit me", I waved over another waitress for two more shots. I told her to put it on his tab and looked at the clock. I had about forty minutes to warm up to this loser to get him to go quietly to where I wanted. I brought my attention back to the boring game.

For the next twenty minutes, I pretended to be engrossed in the security officers losing streak of black jack. He was either too high, or too low but he kept promising me that he was just "warming up". When the shots arrived, he asked no questions whether I bought them or not. He took it hurriedly and dived right back into the game.

About fifteen more minutes in, I could see he was severely beginning to wobble. His speech wasn't slurred but he was definitely feeling it. I searched around for a good exit to bring him through. That's when a man with long, slicked-back hair and sunglasses nodded in my linear. I pointed a hushed finger at myself. He pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose, nodding again.

This must have been my cue. A tad bit early but I could manage.

I wrapped my arms around the flustered brute to breath casually in his ear. "Hey cowboy, how about we take this rodeo elsewhere?"

He side-eyed me, "I'm so damn  _close_."

I peeked at his losses. "I bet." Then I changed tact, forcing his face to mine. "Tell you what, all of those drinks are starting to hit me. Why don't we take a little  _breather_." I bit my bottom lip letting it slip seductively from my teeth.

His pupils lit up, finally understanding. He gave a breathy laugh to the dealer. "What can I say? I'm irresistible." The dealer appeared as unamused as me. Griggs stood up to drop a palm on the table. "Call upstairs and tell 'em to float me another 10k. I'll be back."

Hearing enough of his jabbering I grabbed ahold of his hand and pulled him towards the kitchen where that man was standing. I immediately felt Griggs trying to tug me back.

"Hey baby, I thought you wanted a little  _fresh air_. My car's out back-"

I swiveled my head around to grin, "-I was thinking you could eat something sweet off of anywhere you wanted."

He gave me another elated expression. "Woah baby, I  _love_  the way you think! You could be my soulmate."

Ignoring that last comment he became more compliant to let me lead him to the back. Once we passed the threshold of the kitchen, the buff man with the sunglasses shoved Griggs into a different direction. I pasted myself against the steely wall.

"Oof hey! What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you know who I am?"

The guy said no words as he tased the officer in the neck. Griggs cringed under the volts and was hauled off into another room of the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief.

" _Papillon"_

I nearly jumped out of my skin at that snarling voice. Mister J's capped teeth clenched as he glared me down. I watched his fists tighten and curl and he raised the hand with the wide grin inked on it up to my mouth. I prepared myself for the worst. Only, it didn't come.

Not just yet.

He shoved me harder into the cold wall replacing my mouth with a smiling one. "Why is it the you women always think you have something to prove? Why can't you just be  _obedient?_ "

I didn't humor him with an answer. I just let my grey eyes glare at him with hidden defiance. This wasn't about obedience. Proving something, yes, but only that I wouldn't be a lap dog. I was tired of being people's lap dog. I wanted him to see that I was as good of a smooth talker as he was. That I could play his games in equal format.

Considering I had been silent for almost a whole minute, J became even more angry but before he do any psychical damage Frost intervened.

"Boss, Griggs is ready."

Joker cracked his neck from side to side and thrust me to the ground. He pulled on the edges of his golden suit jacket. "This isn't over." He pointed an index at me. "You're going to wait right here like a good little girl until I'm finished. Alejandro here is gonna keep an eye on you." He pointed to the same man who had tasered Griggs. Only now he was holding a gun.

Mister J and I had a stare off that lasted for all of five seconds before he growled and disappeared into the other room. Frost passed me a graved face as he followed the clown in. I sat up, hugging my arms around my body awaiting whatever fresh hell was to come unto me next.


	15. Burning Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took me so long to update. Work is hectic and I got a new puppy! I hope everyone is still with me! Thank you for the kudos and comments and please continue to enjoy. :)

" _I drive fast, wind in my hair, I push you to the limits 'cause I just don't care_

 _I've got a burning desire for you, baby_  
 _I've got a burning desire_ "

\- Lana Del Rey, " _Burning Desire_ "

* * *

I waited the next twenty minutes sitting in that same spot

on the floor. I had my left leg slightly propped to where I could rest an elbow on it to support my chin. Alejandro had his big gun tucked against his chest and I couldn't be sure if he was watching behind his shades but whenever I shifted his face slightly moved. As if at any moment, I'd sprint off.

_Ha! Not in these heels…_

My eyes gazed at the tile on the floor. Each square was littered with tiny, black specks which didn't hide the dirt from shoe bottoms and spilled dishes that smudged over them. I made a stink face. If I didn't have to worry about being gunned down for a single movement I would have stood up by now. Some how, it just seemed safer on the ground.

I had to remind myself later to immerse in a bubble bath.

My head jerked up as I heard J's throaty laugh echo from the room over. It had been surprisingly quiet the whole time he and Frost retreated back there. Besides the repetitive sound of someone chopping something up on a block. Which didn't worry me because if it  _was_  Griggs, it would have been much more evident by now.

A few more minutes went by lolling about before J's rushed foot steps came my way. He had a mean look stuck on his mug as he ripped me up off the floor by my arm, pulling my stumbling form along. Frost trailed close behind as we pushed through crowds.

I wanted to know what happened but knew better than to ask. Judging by his aggressive nature the meeting must have taken a turn for the worst. What was he expecting though, really? This Waller woman wasn't going to just hand Quinn over.

When we got outside he continued to tug me toward the car. Not once did he peer back to acknowledge me. I may or may not have started feeling a little regret for what I pulled earlier. If he was already this heated, I couldn't imagine what punishments he'd cook up. And my  _affliction_  gave him a wide spectrum of choices.

He swung the back door with force and shoved me inside. Then, surprisingly, he slammed it shut and glowered at the driver. "Take her back to the hotel. Keep a heavy watch. Lock her in there if you have to."

He side-eyed me furiously before storming off. I was going to protest but the way things had unfolded left me in partial shock. My jaw hung open as I saw him and Frost climb into another vehicle of the same make, taking off seconds later.

I leaned into the seat. So I see, I make one bold move that actually  _helped_  his cause and I'm sent to my room like a little child. I felt a familiar heat rising inside my body. I'm  _not_  Harley.

The whole ride back, which was short, I brewed silently within my thoughts. When we drove up to the hotel where I  _guess_  Joker rented a room and forgot the mention it, a couple of men in suits were in waiting. I braced myself as one of them opened the car door to drag me out. I was getting real tired of this man handling.

In all this time I had spent with J, this was the first where I felt like a hostage rather than a guest. I tried to shake their multiple hands from me. "Get off me, you brutes!"

They didn't make a sound as a they glided me through the hotel entrance. I brought my heel down onto one of the men's brown, leather shoes inciting a squeal of pain mixed with a growl. "Don't get cute, lady."

"Don't get rough with  _me_!" I let my fist strike down on the other guy this time, landing a punch into his groin. He immediately released his hold, stumbling backwards.

I swiveled my body to face the first goon. "I'm only going to say it one more time. Get. Your. Grubby. Paws.  _Off._  You think the Joker would keep my around if I couldn't take care of my own?" I boasted. The man seemed unfazed. I lowered my glare. "I'll go willing if you  _stop_  handling me like boxed goods."

I felt the henchman's grip loosening and I took the opportunity to jerk my arm free. I snorted hot air in their direction before turning on my heel, cursing under my breath.

"Idiots."

One of them pressed a palm to my back, pushing me forward. "Shadda up."

They directed me into the elevator and hit the button for level seven. I made sure to annoy them with constant huffing the whole ride up. Where was Tommy when you needed him? He might have been an oaf but at least he was nice.

When the elevator came to a stop the men parted to stare at me expectantly. I inhaled deeply, keeping my head straight, then exhaled a harsh sigh as I bumped past them. I could hear one of the henchmen scoff behind me.

As we continued down the long hallway they directed me with a simple "left" or "right". The room that we came upon was marked 202 in thick gold. I paused promptly, letting one of them bump into me.

"Watch it!" I was still fuming.

He said a few choice words under his breath and side stepped me to jingle a set of keys into the lock. As soon as the door clicked the goons thrusted me unceremoniously into it's carpet. Their victorious chortling reverberated on the other side of the quickly closed door.

I jumped up and rushed to it, hearing the lock turn. "Hey! Hey you blockheads! J said to lock it if you  _had to_." I pounded my fists against the wooden surface. "I went fair and square! You're gonna be in so much trouble!"

I screamed, slamming my palms. Truth was, they probably weren't going to be reprimanded in any way. The hints of their amused laughter reassured me of that. I slowly pivoted to take in my new surroundings. Defeated.

The room was plush with white walls and white furniture. It reminded me vaguely of Lady Eliza's abode. Only this place was sleek with velvet black curtains and hints of black in the decor. Like the furry pillows that sat on an arm chair. Or the grandeur clock on the bedside table.

I kicked off my heels to investigate the luxury suite further. The first thing I noticed was the small bar located directly to the right of me. It had two wooden chairs with a cabinet stocked just beyond the bar's counter. I played with the thought of pouring myself another drink as I approached it but something else caught my attention.

I wandered over to the massive bathroom framed in gold. It had a large jacuzzi like tub with a single shower built off to the counters of the his and hers sinks matched the tiles in beige granite. Which gave it a very cozy, clean feel.

I rested the side of my temple against the door frame. This place was awfully big for just one person. I stretched my neck to view the king sized bed behind me. That was pretty big too.

I walked over to it and jumped into it's soft confines, belly first. Crawling up to the pillows I hugged one beneath my cranium. I let out a long, drawn out sigh as I curled into fetal position. This was almost as heavenly as my bed at Mister J's house. Getting too comfortable, I unintentionally passed right out.

And what would have been actual sleep turned into a nap as my eyes blinked open for what felt like minutes later. My greys shifted over to the bedside clock to see two more hours had passed. My brows furrowed at the atmosphere of the suite. Something seemed off.

I tried to get up from the bed only to discover someone was there, watching me. My head jerked in the direction of the presence.

"Boo!"

I rolled off the mattress in fright as wild laughter followed. My heart hammered in my chest. Joker had been bent over my body presumably observing me. For how long, only Gods know.

I did a sort of crab walk backwards into the wall. "M-Mister J?"

He hunched lower, growling as he slinked my way. "Did you think you'd get off that easy?"

I could feel my face burn as I dug my nails into the carpet. "I helped you."

He lunged, grasping my shoulders and picking me up. The clown smashed my back into the same wall. "Why do we consistently do this dance, little bug?"

"Because of you!" I shouted, struggling. I had reached my breaking point. "You can't stand to thank anyone but yourself!"

That earned me a good slap across the face accompanied by a toss into a dresser nearby. I hit it with a loud thud as I tumbled to the carpet once more. My breathing was heavy but I remained resilient.

"I had  _everything_  planned out! I didn't  _need_  your help! Are you  _blind_?!" His voice was hoarse with rage.

"You could call it that." I whispered, lifting my eyes to meet his. "What do you even want with me? You said I had potential. Potential to be  _what_? Your sex toy?!"

My face met another slap. I cringed for a second before attempting to stand up again. The pain, at this point, only stung for a few seconds then went numb. I could see his tattooed chest heave vehemently as I rose.

"Not this girl, J." I was having trouble holding back sobs. "That's not what  _I_  want."

"What  _you_  want?" He spat. He drove his fist right into the wall next to my head. "You women are so soft with your  _ideas_ ," He reached for me again but I blocked him with my forearms. "Your  _fantasies_!" His hands grabbed my blocking arms violently.

"Don't touch me!" I shrilled as I furiously shook his hands about.

This time, he punched me mostly in the nose. I fell back, cupping my face with my left hand. I saw the blood trickle through my fingers and I felt it. The deep chuckle that accumulated in my throat coming out as solid, disturbing laughter.

His jaw rolled and he went in for a few more rounds before I slouched into a corner. However, I kept on laughing. His features were succumbed by pure outrage that I couldn't tell if he was utterly confused or just over the whole ordeal in general. No matter which, I couldn't stop the storm.

My hand remained clasped to my face. I was laughing so hard that tears spilled from my eyes. They swirled with the blood carrying my tempestuous emotions with it to pool at my feet. My body trembled as I spread my fingers to speak.

"So this is it? Your way to get me to co-operate?"

He seethed, peeling off his golden suit jacket. "I'm gonna gut you-"

" _I'm not Harley!_ " I hissed in his face.

That'd done it. He squashed me back into the corner and reached for one of my knives neatly tucked into my thigh garter. Reenacting a familiar scene, J thoughtlessly stabbed me multiple times in the abdomen. Then, for the final blow, he jut me right in the neck. The whole time I could only hear the animalistic noises that escape his gullet.

When he backed off, a river of blood poured over my bottom lip as I slowly sank to the carpet. The shock of being so vigorously attacked trumped over any pain I should have felt. A warm sensation enveloped me and I blinked my eyes a few times.

"Are you satisfied?" I gurgled.

He dropped the knife incredulously and ran a blood stained hand through his green hair. I watched him walk over to the standing mirror only to bring it crashing down to the floor. He then proceeded to kick at the drawers of the nightstand as another guttural growl left him.

Perhaps now was not the time to think how I may have went a  _little_  too far.

After his short lived rampage, Mister J disappeared into the bathroom. My breath was ragged as I surveyed the mess that was my own flesh. The sound of running water vibrated heavily within my skull. I willed my fingertips to move despite the fact I couldn't feel them. Everything suddenly felt so surreal.

He returned a moment later to collect me off the floor, bringing me to the bathroom. The bathtub was filling with hot water as he set me on my weak feet. I leaned my weight into his right shoulder when he began to undress me. I probably would have been more embarrassed had it not been for the excruciating pain that started to course through me.

Even though our brawl had turned gruesome, his fingers were gentle on my bruising skin. The exposure of naked flesh to the cool, air conditioned suite made me shiver. I felt feverish since the temperature in my body did not match the higher one outside of it.

J slipped my dress and undergarments away from me. As he did so, my head lolled into the crook of his neck. My vision faltered as I completely lost my sense of balance. His strong arms held me up with ease and his eyes searched mine. I couldn't make out the emotions behind his stone face.

My fingers limply traced his jawline. I thought I uttered the first letter of his name but I was so delirious by this point I wasn't entirely sure. Whatever I said, he paused for a second before lifting me up and dipping me into the hot, welcoming water.

It stung but soothed me at the same time. The water in the bath churned an instant red. I let out a low, raspy chuckle. "Well, at least I get the bath I almost forgot to take." J stood over me, unmoving as I added. "Not quite how I imagine it though."

Through hooded lids I gazed at J while he languidly positioned himself in front of the sink mirrors. He stared for a very long time at his own reflection. Not even a muscle twitched. I had the urge to call out to him, to draw him back to me, but my vocal chords didn't seem to agree.

No matter how hard I tried to force it only small squeaks popped out. I bit my bottom lip as my world closed in around me. The shadows appearing to paint my vision black and white. J's face profiled, almost as if my tiny cries drifted through to his ears. I wanted to call out again but I was thwarted by failing consciousness as a veil of black consumed me.

I startled awake to pitch black. If it wasn't for the lights of the city outside I would have severely been convinced that this time, he had done it. My body curled against itself in relief, entangled in bedsheets. Even though I felt completely fine now a nagging tension made the hairs stand up on my back. I was still naked but I wasn't alone.

Cautiously, I raised my upper body to peer behind me. A hand caught me by the mouth and pushed me lightly into the headboard. J put a finger to his painted lips to shush me. His eyes darted over to the windows.

I noticed he was shirtless now with his suit pants hanging loosely around his narrow hips. My eyes flitted to the pillow next to me to see a small indent. At one point or another he either slept or laid beside me for some unknown amount of time. I was betting on the latter if the deep purple under his blues had anything to say about it.

Plotting. Always plotting.

Like a cat, he slinked off the mattress to assess whatever situation was going on, his tattooed hand leaving me. The clown's footsteps were silent as he edged carefully to the window. When he hit the streaks of illumination from the city it bounced off a steel object in his grip. I recognized it as one of my balisongs.

Feeling brave, I followed him. I held tight to the sheets covering me making sure they didn't drag. With the same grace, I stopped wordlessly beside him and just as he was about to acknowledge me an explosion transpired outside.

I leaped back and he raised the knife but as quickly as we reacted we realized that it wasn't an explosion at all. Some kids on the street were lighting up cheap fireworks. I stifled a giggle with my hand.

J's eyes examined me as another one went up. "Huh…"

I met his gaze, tilting my head. "What?"

"Your hair…" He looked mesmerized.

Another firework burst.

I screwed my eyeballs off to the side to witness what he was seeing. The glow from the sparks revealed that I was no longer a summer blonde. Diluted strands of silver now grew from my scalp and when the light hit it, tinges of purple could be seen.

I'd have freaked out more if I hadn't discovered it in this way. The luminosity of the fireworks made the moment appear more magical. Like I was a Disney princess accepting her heroine sacrifice. Even if my  _prince_  happen to be a villain. My journey changed me forever more.

Suddenly, the vibration of a cellphone could be heard. J fished in his pant's pocket to pull out his mobile. The screen was lit up with a text message. As his eyes charily scanned over the message a faint grin tugged at the corner of his lips.

Without looking up, he beckoned to me. "Get dressed, doll face. We're leaving,  _now_."

My features twisted. "Where are we going?"

He bared a metal grin. "Midway City."


	16. Try Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllooo everyone! First and foremost, I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry it took me so long to update. Works been hectic with the holiday season and, I got a new puppy! :) So with that handful, I've been lacking time to finish this chapter but I PROMISE, I am finishing this story. I'm not abandoning it! So please, I hope you guys are still with me and enjoy this slightly longer chapter. Thank you!

" _Can't put my finger on it_

_But I know I want it_  
 _I'm willing to try another way_  
 _That is, if I get by another day_ "

\- Lana Del Rey, " _Try Tonight_ "

* * *

We were escorted by another random vehicle to a private airport.

While Joker had gone back to the hotel, presumably to torture me, he sent Frost out to arrange the most immediate flight to Midway. Apparently, Task Force X were heading in that direction to fight off some terrorist. Which, through J's little sources, turns out to actually be some meta human named Enchantress.

Not that any of this particularly concerned me but the clown became more anxious with his queen in the throws of war. And as much as that stung, I understood his concealed heartbreak. My love, for the moment, would have to be put on the back burner.

I sighed, reminding myself that Rome wasn't built in a day.

My chin rested on my curled knuckles as I glanced at Mister J trying to quell his own nervousness. He had an open palm to his forehead and his leg bopped up and down in impatience. A small smile broke over my face that I hid behind my fingers. Even though it was for Harley, I couldn't deny this rare opportunity to see the clown showing human emotion. Whether he was aware of it or not.

He must have felt me staring because his eyes shifted over to me and I darted them away. In my peripheral, I could see him sneer slightly as he was about to open his mouth but Frost interjected.

"Two more minutes, boss. They said we can board immediately upon arrival."

Joker's blue hues lingered on me a little longer before he turned to Frost. "Any word on where Harley is now?"

"They haven't made it to the city just yet." Frost checked his watch. "Judging between their departure time and ours, we should be there a half hour after they arrive. There's no way they'll be too far into Midway by then."

J let an index finger curve over his upper lip. "Did she receive the cell phone?"

"She did."

The clown nodded and brought his attention back to the window. For the next few minutes we would all sit in complete silence until we arrived at the port. Upon parking, several nameless goons approached our vehicle's doors helping us transition out to board the private jet. I could tell I wasn't the only one who noticed J teetering on the edge. Any small slip up would undoubtedly lead to a hole in the head.

The plane ride from Louisiana to Michigan was about as long as the first flight. At night, the tiny lights of various cities looked like a map strewn out in Lite Brite bulbs. Within the luminosity, I searched for various pictures they'd form to pass the time. Occasionally tracing them with an index finger.

However, as we garnered closer to Midway, I noticed nothing but darkness consuming the urban area. I pressed my nose to the glass in wonderment at the destruction that had befallen. The only pin pricks of light came from what I could only assume were spotlights from the military.

Then, as we began our descent, the true chaos unfolded. Buildings were seemingly decrepit as fire rose and fell within their confines. And in the middle of it all, strange flashes of blueish light erupted. I could feel my palms sweat just thinking about how in just a few minutes, we'd be in the thick of all of that.

I sat back, preparing myself for landing. We were to arrive at a small port just outside of the city. I wasn't exactly sure what the plan was from there but judging by more of the small talk briefly made we managed to intercept a helicopter. I had an inkling that everything J and Frost discussed was hushed so this way I couldn't intervene.

Not that I even wanted to at this point.

When we were finally grounded, I hugged my faux fur coat up to my chin. I slouched in my seat as I watched everyone depart from the jet and right before Mister J got off, he turned slightly to stare. "Well, you don't think you'll be staying here, do you?"

My grey eyes looked from the window to his visage. Remembering what appeared to be a view into hell had fear rising through my veins. Despite events I'd experienced with or because of J, it never quite felt as  _big_  as this did. There was absolutely no room for error here. We had to get Harley out and we had to do it now.

Yet, when I followed the green haired man out, a sense of ease washed over me. He could have left me to sit on this plane. He could have left me in the hotel room. He could've even left me to bleed out on the carpeted floor but for one reason or another, he's continued to carry me along. If I were to chicken out now, what would that make me?

A small thought in the back of my head drew me to a not too distant memory of my mother. The words she cursed unto my father and my heated reply. I quickly shook it away. I would  _not_  be her. I would  _never_  be her.

As I stepped off the jet a familiar rush of swirling air tangled into my new silver locks. I arched a hand above my eyes as my irises adjusted to the rapidly spinning blades of the stolen aircraft. It kicked up dust in our faces and I know that if Mister J wasn't in such an urgent mindset our pilot would've remained permanently on the ground. Or  _in_  the ground I should say.

Once we were boarded, I immediately saw Frost strap on a parachute and wondered if I should do the same. I trailed my gaze to J to see him texting on his phone. He didn't seem all that fazed by the action nor did he accept one for his own. Mulling it over some more I decided I guess I didn't actually have a use for one either.

Suddenly, a white coat caught the corner of my eye. It belonged to a man with short brown hair and glasses whom was holding a weird device between his fingers. He was nervous with sweat as he fiddled with a strange device in his palms. I inched a little closer to view the various faces of Task Force X. He must have been involved with the nano bombs.

Studying him further, I could only imagine J was having him disarm Harley's implant. Whatever the clown had on this guy must have been pretty serious to break code against the government. Although, something told me he wasn't making it off this helicopter  _alive_.

Flying more directly into the fray proved to be more intense than the over passing. Sounds and smells now accompanied the blazing chaos. Buildings moaned from the weight they could no longer carry. Fires cackled as they licked up the brick and steel sidings. A putrid smell loomed about in the air like human hair burning. My mind congregated a million things as to where the awful smell originated from.

A few minutes later, Joker jumped to his feet to hover about the helicopter's entrance. I could see his face light up as a silver grin spread. His blue eyes were fixated on something or  _someone_  just out of reach. I jutted up partially to peer through another window.

The aircraft hovered above the top of a single building where a group of miscreants and soldiers made their way through. I instantly picked Harley out of the rag tag team with her bat behind her head. She looked a little worse for wear. Her outfit, on the other hand, seemed rather inconvenient for a war. Then again, she was quite eccentric like Mister J.

A crackle came over the speakers in the helicopter as a voice said, "Savior one zero, this is ground element."

It was the army men trying to contact this craft. My eyes widened as my heart started to pound. A small rumble of laughter began to shake from Mister J.

"Savior one zero, how copy."

The clown armed himself as did Frost and the others. This was it, the show down.

"Savior one zero, the LZ's clear."

Good sense told me to pillage around for a long range weapon too but my limbs were suddenly very stiff. I couldn't loosen the grip my fingers held on the arms of my seat. Joker's laugh echoed as the helicopter's entrance opened wide.

Then it happened. Bullet fire hit the sides of the aircraft resonating in multiple tinging sounds. Frost retaliated by firing the gun attached to the craft, shooting into the heart of the group. The clown was in hysterics, enjoying every second of the shoot out.

From my current view I watched them all scatter and Harley duck behind some kind of metal boxes. The cross fire became so hectic it was hard to tell whose bullets were whose. My fingers hovered shakily over the buckle of my seat belt. Something told me that I couldn't continue to just sit here. There was an ominous feeling in the air.

"Professor, could you pick up the pace?" J called back to the man in the white lab coat. He wearily pressed a few more buttons before a beeping sound emitted in the frame of Harley's mugshot.

I unclasped my seat belt as J's smile grew and he stepped back to send something on his phone. Even though my body worked against me, I forced myself to stand. My feet clumsily tried to guide me toward the prince of crime as he tossed rope down.

"Hello baby." He uttered.

My eyes caught sight of Harley, directly in the middle of the chaos, slipping her jacket off while walking in our direction. I slowly steadied myself just a few feet away from the anticipating Mister J. Deep growls rolled with every word he spoke.

"Come on, baby."

The clown girl tore into a sprint before leaping off the edge of the building. Her hands impacted against the rope as she swung around letting her legs securely curl into it. She let her right hand hold tight and blew a kiss to the mismatched group. Giggles filled her lungs.

As Harley climbed up the rope a man, who didn't look anything like the rest of the military, aimed for her with a glock. My stomach dropped. With her dangling like a loon she'd surely be struck down.

"Mister J-"

The green haired man raised a hand. I choked back the rest of my words as my eyes re-observed the scene. The man fired the shot and I gaped in horror as Harley tumbled unceremoniously down the rope. I could feel my chest grow tight.

Then, in mere seconds time, the clown girl propped herself up and posed. He had missed and from what my mind was trying to comprehend he had missed her on purpose. There was no way he could have failed with the set up he had rigged. Joker somehow must've put faith in this turn out.

As the rooftop of that building began to shrink, J reached down to help his queen up. He was instantly greeted with her excitement.

"Puddin'!" She planted a heavy kiss onto his painted lips, encasing his neck within her arms. He returned it with a pleased snarl. Something deadly clawed up my insides.

When they finally broke, she beamed, "You got all dressed up for me?"

"Oh, you know I'd do anything for you." He nonchalantly answered maneuvering his head to her right ear. "By the way, I've got some grape soda on ice and a bear skin rug waiting."

"Yeah?"

The manic beeping of the aircraft interrupted the magic moment between the two. Frost came towards the back with urgency in his words. "Boss, we've got a problem!"

We all watched helplessly as a missile shot into the middle of the craft. It rocked us all back and forth before starting a fiery descent downwards. I pressed myself against the sides as I looked to J. He combed over the situation briefly and turned back to Harley Quinn.

"This bird is baked." His blue hues scoped the various buildings below. He then brought his attention back to her. "Okay honey, it's me and you."

_Wait, what?_

"Let's do it." She happily obliged.

_No._

My veins ran hot as I found myself jogging towards the couple. There was no way they were leaving me here,  _he_ was leaving me here. The clack of my heels distracted J for a moment making him turn his head slightly. The helicopter rocked again and in that second he lost his grip on precious Harley. She fell off the aircraft, plummeting with speed into the rooftop of a random building.

I dove ungracefully for the clown prince as he dropped onto his back. I scraped my knees crawling for him. His features were mangled with angry and confusion.

"Mister J…" I used my arms to hoist him in to a sitting position. He was unresponsive, his breathing hoarse and gaze focused on the ghost of his queen.

I tried again, bringing my face around and into his view. "Mister J!" His irises snapped to mine. "We need to get off this helicopter.  _Now!_ "

He didn't budge so I took it upon myself to quickly formulate a plan. The lower we descend, the fewer rooftops we could clear safely. How was I to get my prince off this thing alive? My intense stare trailed to the cuts already healing on my knees.

_That's it!_

I got in front of Mister J and tangled the fingers of my hands with his, willing him to stand. His expression never changed but I was determined to make him listen.

"J, we only have a few seconds before we explode with this helicopter. I can save you, but you need to trust me." His non-existent brows furrowed. " _Trust me._ "

Before he could even protest, I encircled him in the strongest hug I could muster and leaped backwards into the chaotic night. As we free fell, I struggled to keep him above me. This would all be for naught if we flipped the wrong way.

It felt like someone had punched me with bricks when my back landed onto the concrete of the rooftop. The sensation was so painful it knocked the breath right out of me. We tumbled ceaselessly like rag dolls along the flat surface. I was sprawled out when I finally rolled to a stop. My left arm outstretched to the curled body of the clown.

Minus a few more nicks and cuts, he was completely fine as he slowly raised himself up. A small smiled curved my lips. My body had taken most of the impact and I was pretty damn certain my spine was misplaced. I couldn't feel the pain anymore though. It had all become numbness.

J inched himself towards me, his face an array of emotions. So many in fact that I couldn't place which one was which. He raised a palm cautiously over me. "Papillon…what can I do?"

A wheezing sound intertwined with my words. "My back…snap my spine back into place…" I attempted to smile encouragingly.

His jaw clenched, but he did not hesitate to turn me over. More pain raced through me. I bit back a yelp as I urged, "Quickly"

Within in seconds he had my spine realigned properly and I could not hold the scream that came with it. My nails snapped as I clawed the solid ground. I breathed erratically syncing my fluttering lids to the motion. J stood up with a mixture of concern and curiosity in his eyes. I wanted to tell him that I'd be alright but my voice seemed lost within the pain. This injury was nothing short of serious.

"That's quite the trick." Frost stumbled upon us sporting no horrific damage of his own. However, he only seemed to be the only other person alive. That parachute came in handy after all. "She still alive?"

J was still eyeing me, "Yes…it would appear so."

I inhaled deeply as Frost now stood over me too. "Doesn't look like she'll be getting up any time soon." He redirected his stare to Joker. "You look mostly unscathed though."

"Yesss" J rolled his jaw and broke his gaze. "We need to find a vehicle and get out of this city. Harley will have to wait."

"Yes, boss, and the girl?"

Another snarl vibrated from his throat as he stepped towards me and scooped me into his arms. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't felt uncertain to whether he would take me with him or not. His decision making was always uncanny. Then again, my reasons for staying with him were just the same.

I flopped limply around as we made our trek to ground level. Every structure was as desolate inside as it was outside. Windows smashed, desks upturned, papers carelessly scattered to the wind. It was all very reminiscent of an apocalypse.

The fires that blazed in the streets felt hot against my cool skin as we stepped out. All I could see was an ashy night sky. Oranges and reds lapped at the edges of the vast navy blue. Pin pricks of pure white light struggled against the smokey backdrop. I felt like I was floating through a surreal dream.

My fingertips twitched, desperately wanting to regain control. The grey of my eyes shifted to the strong, pale jaw of the mad clown. Even in this glow I could see the muscles beneath the skin jitter with inside movement. He was thinking, plotting. He lost the battle but not the war.

For now, Harley was safe. Her nano bomb disarmed and the scientist dead. I believed he was never actually worried about the Enchantress. She was a villain, same as us, after all. It was the  _heroes_  who'd inflict the most harm. At least the sorceress was up front about her destruction.

Another growl ripped through Joker's esophagus. His pace quickened towards an almost untouched vehicle abandoned amongst others in the street. It had only suffered a spider web of cracks on the windshield and a few scrapes from undoubtedly being pushed into other automobiles.

"This'll do." He muttered as he passed my weight off to Frost abruptly. He then slipped off his suit coat to spin it the best he could around his arm and smashed in the driver's side window.

The car alarm honked loudly causing a panic to rise in me chest. What if whatever destroyed Midway, came after us? Mr. J, of course, didn't seem all that worried. He promptly swung open the door and knelt down to fiddle with the wiring. A small smirk crept at the corner of my lips. With all the goons he had to do his bidding, it'd make you forget that he too could do such petty, simple things like hot wiring a car.

We all started somewhere. We all learned from someone.

When he got the car alarm to stop he tugged and rewired a few more cables. Within minutes, the vehicle roared to life. He chuckled lowly while flashing a metal grin. "Get in"

Frost dared not hesitate as he stuck me in the backseat. Once he looped around and got in on the passengers side, Joker took off. By this point, I was healed enough to where I could keep myself in a sitting position. Although all the good it did me, I don't know. I'd never been in a car that J was personally driving and I wasn't quite sure if I'd wanted to be ever again. He was as mad on the road as he was in the head.

Weaving through the ruined streets, I sloshed about unsteadily. Holding onto the handles inside the car proved to be utterly useless. My body still wained back and forth as he maneuvered his way around debris. Something told me that Mr. J never got his license legally.

Frost remained still, as best he could. This certainly wasn't his first rodeo. He must have had similar thoughts to mine as he cocked a gun. Something was destroying this city and we had to be prepared for it.

J continued to successfully dodge obstacles at illegal speeds for several more minutes before Frost did a double take in the side mirror. Without warning, he rolled down his window and began shooting at something behind us. The clown was unmoved but I flinched down in my seat.

Frost reloaded his gun. "What the hell are those things?"

Joker just let out insane laughter as I peered sheepishly out of the rear window. Figures of sludge and rubble tailed closely behind us. They looked like nothing more than mud monsters and when Frost's bullets struck them, they scattered into chunks of dust.

I felt something with girth hit the spot next to me. I looked down to see a gun.

"Use it." Frost commanded.

I caught J's eyes in the rear view mirror. There were numerous crinkles around his lids as he winked. I guess this was as good a time as any to practice my aim. I tried to reach for the gun with confidence but the weight of the clown's stare felt heavy.

I wrapped both hands around it's handle and let my right index rest on the trigger. My hands couldn't keep still. I wasn't nervous because I had to shoot the thing, I was nervous that I'd miss. I didn't have much practice on live targets when I worked for Angelo.

My grey eyes scanned the back windshield. I could have roll down the back window and start firing but I'd have a better chance blasting them directly through. Should I risk breaking it?

I didn't have a chance to even think it over when the glass shattered itself from Frost's gun. I whipped around to him, wide eyed.

"Shoot them!  _Now!_ "

Despite feeling foolish, I obeyed. I fired bullet after bullet at what seemed to be an endless barrage of mud monsters. I hit a few. I missed a few. All in the same, we kept them at bay. All until one snuck up from under the vehicle and grabbed at me through the broken glass.

I tossed my empty gun, having no time to reload, and pulled out what I knew best, my knives. I hacked diligently away at the offender letting primal noises escape my throat. It felt real good to kill something. Something I didn't have to feel guilty for.

Once the monster was destroyed, Frost finished off a few more before we entered outside of city limits. The difference between lighting was astounding. Nature emerged from the sidelines like a pop-up book and with it, a darkness enveloped the vehicle like a shroud.

I flopped back proudly in my seat admiring the burning city's blaze grow farther and farther. The strands of my pale hair danced fervently in front of my face, waving a triumphant goodbye.


	17. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been writing this non-stop the past few days. I was super excited to write in another infamous villain. This also sets up an event that leads to the ending this story will have. So technically, this bridge is SUUUPER important.

" _When everything goes wrong, you see some bad_

_But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good_

_Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood_ "

\- Lana Del Rey, " _Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood_ "

* * *

"Yes!" A bejeweled hand slammed excitedly against the

marble counter. I jumped from the sudden noise. "What better way to infiltrate than from the inside!" Silver gleamed brightly from the clown's mouth.

J, myself, and Frost were back in the kitchen of Joker's lavished mansion. Daylight had started to break considering it was about five in the morning. Our drive back to the private port just outside of Midway City took much longer by car than it did by helicopter. Yet, J drove the whole way.

Which, sort of surprised me because he still hadn't slept. He was completely wired and I had to wonder where he stored all of that energy. Even Frost napped between flights.

Currently, he had bourbon on ice that he clunked around in his other hand as he discussed new plans with Frost. They were devising the best way to break Harley out of Belle Reve. Once word spread that Task Force X completed their mission, J knew she'd be sent back to that prison on the swamps.

"Prisons are meant to keep people in, not out." J waved a feathery hand. "Do you know what that means?" His blue eyes bore into me.

However, Frost answered. "Get Griggs and his lackeys to release Miss Quinn into your custody?"

Joker let out a hardy laugh, still looking at me. He pointed an index finger in Frost's direction. "See, this is why I keep him around." He stopped laughing to grin at the man instead. "That is exactly what it means, but I want to do something bigger.  _Better_."

Frost's head lowered an inch. "You want to go in there yourself."

The clown's smile couldn't get any wider. It was incredible how well the two understood each other. I began to think that maybe I should be asking Frost for advice on how to stay on J's good side since I kept walking the fine line.

J took a sip of his drink and snarled, "Arrange it."

Frost nodded and took his leave. I sighed as I gazed into the depths of my french vanilla coffee. It had cooled down to mediocre temperatures in the last five minutes, discouraging me from it. A shadow loomed over the liquid.

J's head was arched low in front of me. "Do you know why I keep  _you_  around, Papillon?"

I really wasn't in the mood for mind games this early in the morning. He hadn't spoken a word to me again since I saved his life. Not that I expected any praise or gratefulness but again, I did  _save_  his life. That didn't warrant a silent treatment.

"To torture me, I suppose." I let my eyes fall back to my cold coffee.

He scoffed and walked past me but not before letting a hand briskly graze my shoulder. "You're more important than  _that_ , I'm sure."

My ears pricked, yet I remained cautious. I could only figure he was luring me into a false sense of security. I turned to profile him at another counter across from me. He had his hands behind his back, tipping faintly forward.

"You won't be coming with us, my dear."

I swiveled around fully, a little peeved. "Is this still about what happened at the casino?"

"No" He barked, then came gradually closer as he continued to speak. "You're… _distracting_."

"I'm what?" My brows furrowed as he tilted his head. I wrestled around with it in my brain for a second before the corner of my lips upturned. "Wait-"

His hands swirled in an animated way about my person, boxing me in an imaginary bubble. "I need you to be silent, and that's not something you're very good at."

A tiny laugh escaped my throat. " _Silent?_  That's not something Harley's good at either but I don't see her being reprimanded for it."

His palms came down harshly to meet the marble on either side of me. He straightened himself out to gain height and peered at me through half lids. This was suppose to be a threatening stance, like a cat trying to arch itself to make it appear larger.

Little by little I was learning to conceal the fear I'd feel whenever he pulled in the reigns. I didn't want to quake. I didn't want to show weakness. I was a capable, young woman. I would not live in Harley's shadow as grand as it may have been.

Again, I was still mastering it, so he undoubtedly noticed my fingers shaking together in my lap. He breathed an air of sarcasm. "I thought you weren't anything like Harls."

 _Nice try_.

I smiled sweetly, "I'm not. I'm much smarter."

He chortled ever so slowly as he walked away. "My, my, my, such arrogance."

I straightened out my spine. "And what's wrong with that? I'm confident in my abilities."

His eyes peeked over his shoulder as he hissed. "It's not the same thing, I'm afraid."

"I know that." My fingers clenched tightly together. "But what you think is arrogance, is what I consider confidence. I'm not saying Harley isn't… _charming_ , but in honesty, would you consider her smart?"

"Ah," He looked to the ceiling before facing me once more. "Depends."

"When has any of her plans  _actually_  worked?"

His eyes lit up and he stalked towards me again, chuckling. "Such forcefulness, Papillon. But-" His palm enclosed in a vice grip to the lower half of my face. "-what I think about Harley or you, are two totally different things. Ya got that?" His eyes searched my terrified ones. "And the next time you have an opinion you want to share about Harley when, quite frankly my dear, you know virtually nothing of her nor me-" He made our noses touch. "-I'll be sure to do more than slice your neck."

He abruptly released me and my fingers traced over my cheeks. Tears welled at the brims of my eyes as he strolled toward the exit. My voice caved under the overwhelming feeling of sadness as I spoke. "Aren't you ever tired of this?"

He stiffened at the archway. I kept on, "You want your queen, you have her, but leave me  _out_  of this. Just let me go. What have you really to gain, Joker?"

My insides churned as he stood there ever so still. Droplets streamed one by one down my heated cheeks. Containing this feeling was way too much. I wanted him to stop being so nice. He was either going to kill me or he was not. I couldn't take anymore of these gray areas.

However, he never answered. After a moments silence he continued to exit the room. Rage overtook me and I screamed into the palms of my hands. It still did not draw him back.

My body convulsed with a new sense of fury. I fixed my glare into the endless speckles of the marble counter top. A scowl hung from my lips. I couldn't get my clenched fists to steady. I felt like this unbalanced vexation would never cease.

I was forever suspended between two emotions, anguish and anger.

I needed to seriously re-evaluate whatever hook J had plunged in me. What's the number one thing that makes a woman stay in an abusive relationship? My fingers stretched to tap along the surface.

 _He needs me_.

I closed my eyes. He didn't need me, that was absolutely clear. Harley may have had the delusion that J couldn't go on without her, but he'd already painted that picture before she even got a chance to dip her own brush in the paint. Rumors had it that he glued together some sob story about a violent father to tug at her soft heart strings.

Harley,  _soft._

I could see it. When given the order she'd strike down any man, women, or child. When left up to her own devices, she was much more persuadable. Why kill what didn't need to die? The psychiatrist in her must have fought endlessly to retain some sanity. Protecting her  _Puddin'_  was the only exception. Or any major threats to her person.

I exhaled a long breath I hadn't realized I was holding. My irises drifted to the clock on the joining wall. Almost seven thirty in the morning. I rolled my shoulders and pushed myself away from the counter. I needed a hot shower.

The padding of my feet treaded lightly on the tiled flooring. The dirt and grime from the night before weighted me down heavily. I felt like every step I took I left a trail of mud in my wake. We were all so exhausted or, well, exuberant when we came back that cleaning ourselves up seemed the most least important thing to do.

I was as quiet as a mouse as I retired to my room. The whole house was hushed. This led me to believe that J and I were the only occupants currently. Which was perfectly fine because that gave us an entire mansion's space to put between us.

I shut my private bathroom door soundlessly behind me. Hearing the water pound into the porcelain of the tub sent instant relief through my bones. I longed to have the hot liquid wash away all of my troubles. Erase all the turbulence of this day that hadn't even yet begun.

Of course, that was easier said than done.

The same thoughts from before crept back into my mind as I stepped beneath the shower's sanctuary. A list formed beyond the lids of my eyes as if someone had taken a pen and etched them into the skin.

_Fear._

Yes, I had that. For what purpose, I wasn't sure. I didn't think it was so much the fear of dying that kept me attached. We all knew that'd be an impeccable feat. It was, perhaps, the fear of being alone. If I left J, besides him hunting me down, I'd actually have nowhere to go. All acquaintances I'd had were surely cut after Angelo's untimely death.

I grabbed for the bar of soap that rested on the soap dish. Sudsing it up, I humored myself with the thought of showing up on Lady Eliza's doorstep once more. Would she be enraged or would she be green with envy? That woman could have it all and yet it still wouldn't be enough.

A strand of luminescent fell in my face. I blew at it wondering if she'd even recognize me. Then I thought of Arnie. Oh, good old Arnie. I'd never dream of giving him any more trouble than he needed. Maybe one day, when I'm far away from this mess, I'd visit him and say I'm sorry. Say that I never meant to hurt him. Never meant to get Angelo killed.

The drawback of the glass door startled me. I hugged my arms to my chest and coward into the tiling of the wall. My heart hammered at light speeds as that familiar open-mouthed frown leered at me.

J had his left forearm propped against the glass above his head and the palm of his right hand flattened to the tile. He leaned more to the left, appraising me with those cold, blue eyes.

I didn't dare speak. He looked as if he'd been hitting the bottle this whole time and his reasonings for being here could be many. Although curiosity bit at my insides I really just wished he'd go away.

"I'm leaving now, Olive." He almost whispered. He hadn't called me by my first name in quite some time.

"Okay, Mister J." I was shivering slightly as his intrusion was letting in all the cool air.

He grunted and hesitated before pulling away from the glass doors. Which he left open. I scurried up to shut them but paused at the sight of his drawn out, lengthy walk to the bathroom entrance. His fists curling and uncurling. I've witnessed this action many a times by now.

Then, unexpectedly, he glanced sideways at me again. His eyes drinking every part of me down. My heart leapt to my throat. He'd never looked back at me before. Almost as if he never thought much of leaving me behind until now. Until this brief second between us.

His eyes slowly disappeared forward as he slinked into the dimmer lighting of the bedroom. When he officially left I let my body use the glass for support since my knees seemed to fail me. Just as I was at the precipice of sorting out all of the nonsense in my head he swoops in and changes the dynamic of the whole situation.

 _That's it_.

I reached to turn the water off. The thing that unnerved me the most, was the thing that attracted me so. His unpredictability is what held my loyalty. He was exciting,  _dangerous_ , untamed. He was the predator and I was the prey. I didn't necessarily like being controlled but if he was controlling it was only because he cared. If he stalked me, it was only because I was worth stalking. Only because he felt some type of way.

I may have been reading too much into things but I couldn't shake this feeling of certainty. Anything I've ever asked him pertaining to these feelings were thwarted by vague comparisons to Harley. And why shouldn't that be? She's been all he's known since his dip at Ace Chemicals. What other woman in her right mind would love a man like him without being altered.

Granted, that would make me no different in that respect but it wasn't he who changed me. Donnie planted a nasty seed long, long ago. J just happened to fund it. And maybe, to some extent, I've always had a little piece of this inside me. The unconscious crave for danger and destruction.

Perhaps J thought I was playing with him.

I reminisced the scene that unfolded at the hotel in Louisiana, touching my neck carefully. I remembered him mentioning something about woman and their  _ideas_ and  _fantasies_. Did he think that I had some sort of school girl crush? That I deluded myself into imagining that one day we'd live the American dream of a house with a white picket fence? That he'd give it all up for me?

I fastened a towel around my torso. I don't think I could ever fathom Mister J on the straight and narrow. He was a criminal mastermind, it defined him. His number one love would always be chaos. He wasn't right in the head and he never would be. To even entertain the idea that you could change a man like that was insanity in itself.

It was all in or nothing.

"All or nothing." I repeated to my reflection in the mirror.

There was something there, at the tip of my tongue. Something just out of my reach. Those eyes. If he could look at me like that all time…

Suddenly, the doorbell echoed throughout the mansion. I furrowed my brow at myself until the bell went off again. Who the hell could that be at this hour?

I stepped out of the steamy bathroom to grab the robe I had dangling from the bed post. Slipping into it, I wondered if the butler had answered the door since I hadn't heard it ring a third time.

I carefully tip-toed to the banister, peeking over. I didn't notice anyone at first. The grand entrance appeared empty. Then, as if he had a radar, the butler spooked me by promptly popping into view.

"Ah, yes miss, was Mister Joker expecting anyone?"

I twitched with every word the old coot spoke. He wasn't a  _bad_  butler, just not exactly a  _smart_  one. J had a knack for employing the thick. I perked myself up and began to ascend the stairs. "Have you let the visitor in, Ben? Mister J is currently not present."

Ben's face drained of color.  _Of course he did._ I narrowed my eyes as he began to stutter. "I-I-I didn't realize-"

"Pardon me, I didn't mean to intrude, Miss-?" A string bean of man with a funny limp hobbled to the foot of the stairs. He was dressed to the nines in a suit with a tailcoat, yet he sported a groomed bedhead. His visage had a bird-like quality to it. Maybe it was the way his nose came to a sharp point.

"Papillon. You can call me, Papillon."

"Ah, the butterfly." The strange man gave a half hearted smirk. "Using an alias I see." He limped a bit more forward as he outstretched a hand. "Well then you can call me Penguin."

I laughed, not meaning too, and he begrudgingly withdrew his hand. I held a hand to my displeased face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. It's just…it suits you."

"I know." He bobbed his funny head up and down. "That would be why they call me it."

I met him by the end of the steps. "Who?"

His crystal eyes locked onto mine. "Everyone"

Standing much closer to him I could see little streaks of grey throughout his black hair. He was peculiar, but not unappealing. An air of gentle naivety hung about him. "And what's your  _real_  name, Mister Penguin?"

"Cobblepot, Oswald Cobblepot."

I gave him a big smile as I extended my hand now. "I'm Olive, Olive Pendragon." We shook. "So what brings you to Mister J's, Mister Cobblepot?"

He raised a palm. "Just Cobblepot, will be fine. And I was hoping to speak with Joker but as you've said, he isn't here. I'm afraid I've wasted my time."

I tilted my head, "Is it anything I could relay back to him?"

The bird-like man smiled softly, resting his hands atop his cane. "Mm, he doesn't return my calls. More or less doesn't even pick up."

My expression turned sour. "I'm sorry to hear that. He  _is_  quite difficult." My attention fluttered off into the distance. "Well, I'll apologize on his behalf. You could always try again in a few hours."

The corners of his lips nearly touched his beady eyes. "You're much kinder than, Miss Quinn."

My ears pricked up at his compliment. The center of my eyes fell on his shorter stature. What a perceptively clever little bird. "Would you like to stay a bit for tea? I can't guarantee you'd be seeing Mister J anytime soon  _but_  you did come all this way. It's the least I can do." I added in a wink for good measure.

He delicately sighed, "Well, I suppose so. How could I say no?"

J would probably be upset with me for this but I was hungering for more information. This guy seemed to know the clown quite well. Perhaps I could squeeze a couple of good stories out of him.

 _And_  I was bored.

I guided Cobblepot to the spacious kitchen where I put the kettle on. He used his cane to hoist himself into a stool at the counter. I seated myself adjacent to him, letting my hands rest on top of each other. He let his cane lean against the sturdy body of the countertop.

"Thank you, very much, Miss Pendragon for the hospitality." He started, licking his lips. "I couldn't even imagine how J happened about a woman such as yourself-"

"Olive," I cut him off. "is just fine." I drifted back in my seat.

" _Olive_ " He repeated. Then he let his airy eyes glance around the room. "Strange for J to leave you on your own. Harley must be in some trouble."

My head weighed to one side. "What gave you that idea?"

He met my inquiring stare. "He's not known to trust people. He clearly trusts you…"

My eyes widened as a grin grew on my face. I hunched as close as I could, almost whispering. "You want to know what he trusts me with, Cobblepot?"

Before the suddenly worried man could answer, I bent one of his fingers back while jabbing the beak of the penguin molded onto the end of his cane, into his neck.

I hissed in his ear. "He trusts that if anyone attempts to cross him  _or_  me, that'll I'll hurt them.  _Real bad_."

He nodded furiously as he squinted in pain. I released him as the sound of the kettle whistled. He nursed his finger with his free hand and retook possession of the cane I stretched out to him. I already dealt with J's games, I wasn't about to put up with his.

"Good. I'm glad we have an understanding." I went over to take care of the pot. "It's obvious you're curious, Mister Cobblepot. A lot has happened, but to get information from me, I need some information from you." I finished pouring the hot water into two porcelain teacups. I side-eyed him. "I think that's fair."

He gritted his teeth. " _Alright_."

I smirked as I dropped a teabag into each cup, bringing them over. "Make no mistake, I may be  _kinder_  than Harley, but I'm also  _scrupulous_." I set his cup down carefully. "Where she would simply end your life, I'd find much more enjoyment skinning you piece by piece." A toothy grin spread across my face.

Whatever little color he had in his visage, drained. His body language portrayed defensiveness as I reached to skim the spiky bits of his hair. Cobblepot didn't seem like a strong man. His place was distinctly in the shadows of someone else. A forever sidekick.

"I see, I may have underestimated you." He said in an uneven voice.

I retracted my hand, electing instead to place it beneath my chin. "It's quite alright, Oswald. I've just had a rough few months."

"I could only imagine." He couldn't keep his eyes on me.

"So" I let my fingertips dance around the edge of my cup. "What business do you have with Mister J?"

His fingers played with the sides of the porcelain. "Oh, well, nothing too terribly serious. Just an invitation-"

"To where?"

His expression was not kind. "A party-"

"A party?" I kept cutting him off. His vagueness became festering. "You came all this way to invite J to a  _party?_ " I raised my eyebrows in retort to his mean mug.

"It's a special sort of party-"

"Well it better be because I can tell you for certain, he'll say no other wise." Our pupils locked in a wordless stand off.

"Forgive me, but I can't comprehend how telling you  _anything_  would move things in my favor."

"Depends on the favor." I took a tiny sip of my tea.

He sighed, exasperated. "There's a big job I'm doing that I know the Batman will interfere with. I need a distraction. A good one."

I narrowed my eyes. "And why would he help you with that?"

"Because he'll get a cut, naturally, but I also know Batman is his favorite toy." He folded his fingers over his untouched beverage.

"Hmmm" I tapped the pad of my fingertip against my cheek. "He  _does_  enjoy annoying the bat brain. What's the party have to do with any of this? A 'butter-me-up' sort of dig?"

"More or less."

"You're an extravagant man, I can tell, but J doesn't care about those things." I could witness in the lines of his face that he knew I spoke the truth. "However, I happen to know that our little Harley is being broken out of Belle Reve as we speak."

This seemed to peak his interest. "Go on."

"Well," I laid up my elbows on the marbled surface. "what if I tell him that you extended an invitation to us because little birds told you of her unfortunate imprisonment. You were planning to have a get together anyway but due to recent troubling events in Midway, you decided that all criminals need a day off too. So you're inviting all of Gotham's worst."

"Mmhmm."

"With paid drinks."

"Ah-" He tried to correct me but I interrupted.

"It better be paid because J won't bite otherwise." He backed down and I continued. "I can easily sell it to him as a way to celebrate Harley Quinn's return. She'll be so excited he'll have to go just to make her shut up about it."

"You've really thought this through, huh?" He looked mildly impressed.

I let out a giggle. "Just observant. Besides, J needs to unwind. Brooding doesn't suit him."

Cobblepot wore an expression of disbelief. "He brooded?"

"In his own way." I sipped at my tea again. "I'm confident I can sell it. Let him get liquored up and then propose the idea with a thirty percent cut."

Oswald's eyes glowered, " _Ten_ "

" _Twenty-five"_ I countered.

"Fifteen!"

"Twenty!" I slammed a palm down, startling him. "And nothing less."

The bird-like man edged back in his seat, pondering this for a moment. His brows knitted together first before his thin lips broke in to a lopsided smile. "Alright. You drive a hard bargain, Miss Pendragon, but you make valid points. I guess if I essentially want the best I have to cough it up for the best. The Bat isn't easy to dodge and this is a big job."

I felt a satisfied feeling wash over me. I had watched many negotiations on television but never participated in one myself. I liked to think I handle it rather professionally. I settled myself in an upright position.

Oswald's eyes flashed to the clock behind me. "Oh, dear, I do believe I've overstayed my welcome." His crystal blues shined to me. "So many things to plan now." He let out a short laugh. "I'll be seeing you in attendance then?"

My eyes shifted to my toes. I just remembered I was wearing only a bathrobe this entire time. "If he let's me, of course."

Cobblepot stumbled out of his seat. He tugged down the ends of his suit and rested his weight into the cane. "Tell you what, what do you say about being my plus one at this event? This way, Joker can't really say no."

I started to walk him to the foyer. "Hmm, he might still say no."

I let the limping man gain an inch on me so that he was in front of the door. He turned to me slightly. "Then you'll have an excuse to come anyway. What's the worst he could do to you?"

A smile etched on his lips and I was about to answer with  _"Kill me"_  but something told me he was well informed of my infliction long ago. He just wanted to hint at it. I pinched the end of his pointy nose. "Clever little bird."

I held on tight before letting go. His face unraveled from a scrunch. "And what time shall I tell Mister J to arrive?"

"Seven, at the Iceberg Lounge." The butler arrived to open the door for my new feathered friend. Cobbledpot's smile reappeared.

I returned it. "Seven it is then. Good day, Mister Cobblepot."

"Good day, Miss Pendragon." And with that, he took his leave.

I retired back to my room hoping to catch up on some seriously missed sleep. Stretching out, I read the nightstand clock.  _Almost ten fifty._  Penguin had been here for at least an hour and a half.

My gaze transferred to the ceiling where I daydreamed about the Iceberg, the outfit I'd wear, the drinks I'd taste, and perhaps some dancing that'd be had. I wondered how J would react to me basically being Penguin's date for the night. Though it was all innocent, I couldn't help but feel complacent. Like I was somehow still getting the short end of the stick.

He had Harley after all, I should be grateful for this minor change in pace.

I rolled onto my side tucking my hands beneath my head. My lids became too heavy for me to keep open any longer. The softness of the bed lulled me into a state of relaxation and I was so close.

_So close._

"Morning, toots! Did ya miss me?!" Harley came barreling through the door. "We have  _so_  much to talk about!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd ya guys think?! I've been binge watching Gotham and absolutely love the actors. Robin Lord Taylor's take on Penguin is so unique in it's own way. I never thought I'd feel so bad for a villain! Needless to say, I wrote in an older version, of course, with a few of my own imagined twists. This part was always important I just needed a villain to fill it. Only several more chapters to go guys! And yes, Harley is back! I can't wait to write more for you guys and again, reviews are always welcomed!


	18. Playing Dangerous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet! Enjoy. :)

" _If you can't stand the heat,_  
 _Then stay out of the fire,_  
 _You might get what you, desire._  
 _Boy, love is strange,_  
 _Sometimes it makes you crazy,_  
 _It can burn or break you down._

_I'm in love, I'm in love,_   
_Love in a hurricane,_   
_I'm in love, I'm in love,_   
_Love in a hurricane_

_I've been bad, I've been wrong,_  
 _Playing a dangerous game_ "

\- Lana Del Rey, " _Playing Dangerous_ "

* * *

I sat up, casting an ominous glare in her direction.

The clown girl tapped the end of the bat in her left palm as she blew translucent, pink bubbles. Her eyes swirled with crazy. "So I've been thinking-"  
"That's cute." I stretched out my arms and rolled my neck. I was beyond the point of choosing my words carefully.  
A twisted grin curled upon her face. "Huh, so the rumors were true. You've gained quite a mouth, ya little insect." She strode closer to me, leaning in. "I think you've become too comfortable here."  
I smiled mischievously. "Well, if I have that's only because Mister J treats me so nice."  
Her expression immediately turned sour. "Why you little…" She went to swing her bat into the side of my face but I caught it with my left hand. I'd be lying if I said the impact wasn't excruciating.  
Regardless, I held my ground and rose to my knees on the bed. Gripping the edge of the bat, I shoved it backwards into her chest. Harley stumbled a bit as I growled. "Give it up, Quinn. Whatever the reason is as to why I'm still here, neither of us will know." I gracefully slinked off the mattress. "But I am, and I saved J's life. I'm not gonna keep running around in circles with you."  
"That's nice, but here's the thing, I don't care!" She took another swing, this time catching my wrist.  
I stepped back to nurse it. She laughed manically and came in for another. I dodged to the left, bobbing down and up to avoid the hard wood. When I came back up I grabbed ahold of her wrist and rotated it in the wrong direction forcing her to drop the bat. Then I clocked her square in the jaw.  
Her head lulled back for a second but she recovered quickly. Her right leg came up and kneed me in the side. I crumpled to the floor as the wind was knocked out of me. I was never certain if I could win this fight, however, I'd be satisfied as long as I got in a few good punches.  
She ripped me up to her level by my hair. "You may have some pretty locks but my Puddin' isn't into washed up beauty queens."  
I chuckled, "If I didn't know any better I'd say that was a compliment."  
She punched me right in the cheek, never letting go of my hair. "If ya know what's good for you, you'll leave this place. Like now."  
"You still think it's that easy?"  
Her brow furrowed. "Sure. I've decided it'll be much more fun to hunt you down along with J instead of letting you mettle with things from the inside."  
"You're delusional."  
An open-mouthed grin spread. "Surprised?"  
"No, but you should understand that I'm not the only one doing the mettling."  
She didn't like that answer. You could tell that internally, she was struggling to believe J had any interest in me at all. She refused to believe it. Her teeth clenched as she went in for another swing. I grabbed her fist and brought my knee up into her abdomen. She released my hair allowing me to crawl across the bed to the other side.  
With some distance between us, I stanced myself, ready to rumble. She huffed vehemently before fixing her hair. "You really wanna die today, don't cha? I can make that happen."  
Suddenly, she lunged across the mattress for me and I took the bedside lamp and smashed Harley in the head with it. Then I circled around the bed watching her shake it off like it was hardly anything. She laughed through gritted teeth as blood trickled down the side of her temple.  
The clown girl leaped off the bed, twirling the bat in her left hand. "Come on little bug, why don't you let me squash you!"  
Harley's bat landed into the dresser that was behind me. Jewelry and hair pins clattered to the carpet. I maneuvered myself to my trusty knives all splayed out on the bedside table. This scenario gave me major deja-vu.  
I picked up two and countered another strike from Harley by defending myself. She still had a crazy grin sprawled across her lips as she put weight into the object. I tried to keep my features as expressionless as possible as I struggled to keep her back.  
She grew real tired, real fast of our standstill. Her grin morphed into a toothy scowl. "Just" She raised her bat up only to swing it at me from another direction. "Die already!"  
I ducked and brought my body back up to greet my blade with her throat. She froze almost instantly, a faltering look over coming her. Glaring at one another, you could cut the tension with a knife. Then, a small smile curled at the corner of her lips.  
"Do it. I dare ya."  
I was tempted. So tempted. Just one clean slice and she'd bleed out before anyone could even call a doctor. Inch by inch…  
"Ladies…" A gravelly voice intruded on our brawl.  
We both turned our heads to see J appearing rather unpleased at this predicament. However, Harley's face lit up as she backed away from me.  
"Puddin'!" She went to bounce happily over to him but he raised a bejeweled hand to stop her. She frowned.  
"Papillon"  
I lowered my knives. "Yes, Mister J?"  
He closed his eyes taking in a deep breath. "What business did Penguin have here?"  
Harley's nose scrunched, "Penguin? That bird-brain?"  
My heart dropped. I had almost forgotten about that. "He wanted to extend an invitation to a party he's hosting."  
J looked reasonably skeptical. "You mean to tell me he waddled all this way just to invite me to some detrimental gathering that I'm sure he is well aware, I have no intentions of coming to?"  
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. "Wellll, it didn't start out that way."  
He narrowed his icy blue hues and stepped toward me. "What does that mean? And be clear."  
His stare captured mine. Harley stood off to the side sporting a shit-eating grin. I set the blades down on the bedside table. "From what I'm told, it was supposed to be just a few people but-" My eyes gravitated to the clown queen. "-he'd heard of Harleen's situation and all that followed before that and decided to turn it into a magnificent festivity. I ima-"  
The blonde hissed, "-It's Harley! Ya got that?!"  
"Hush, Harls. Enough with semantics, let the little bug finish." J had his hand raised again.  
Harley stuck her tongue out at me as I continued with a smile. "Like I was saying," I adjusted my robe. "I imagine it's just Penguin's way of showing off his riches. His influences. He seems like a man who wins people over with promises."  
J curled a finger under his nose, lowering his face. "And for what reason would our feathered friend need to do that?"  
I laced my fingers together against my thighs. "Well, with Belle Reve coming to light and the possibility of being forced into Task Force X, I wouldn't dream of any villain who'd want to end up on that side of the fence." I stepped forward carefully. "So wouldn't it be better to gather as many as possible to provide protection or better yet, a solution to this problem? Because, honestly, Mister J, at the end of the day when it comes to push and shove, you'll want to be on the winning side. Despite Batman, criminals rule Gotham."  
A grin of metal reflected brightly in my eyes. He let his arms fall to his sides. "Well, Olive, you aren't wrong. Penguin's always been quite the coward." He chuckled mildly.  
"But me and Mistah J can handle ourselves just fine." Harley snootily added.  
Ignoring the woman's sass, I kept myself focused on the green haired clown. "As true as that may be, no one said you'd have to agree to any unity. I personally think a night out would do us all some good. Besides, he did make it a point to emphasis that Harley would be a guest of honor. Which means, free drinks."  
Her pale face lit up as she gestured a hand to herself. "Me? A guest of honor?"  
I played into her excitement. "And why not? Word has it The Enchantress was defeated because of you."  
She giggled, "Well, Deadshot helped a little." She was eating out of the palm of my hand. She propped an elbow up on J's shoulder. "J, people are finally noticing my talents. Isn't that great?"  
The older man pinched the bridge of his nose but his pupils never wavered from mine. "Yessss." He let his tongue elongate the last letter.  
"Ohhhh Puddin' I have the perfect outfit for the occasion!" She stared dreamily off into space. The impatientence in J's face ever growing. "Wait!" She jumped, gripping her king's arm instead. "You said us, we ain't going as a three piece, bug."  
I let the anger wash past me. "That's fine."  
J raised a non-existent eyebrow, suspicious. Harley hummed with delight as Ben the butler entered the scene. He presented the clown with an envelope. "This just arrived, sir."  
Harley squealed, swiping the paper from his hands. "This must be the formal invitation!" She twirled around while opening it and skimmed it posthaste. She was riding on the exact high I needed her to.  
"A masquerade?!" Her voice raised an octave while whipping back around to J. "Puddin', we get to dress up! Now we have to go!"  
Where I thought he'd explode with utter irritation, he instead displayed a minuscule smile. "I hear you loud and clear, Harls." He patted the girl on the head. "You go pick something out and Daddy will join you momentarily."  
"You're the best, Mistah J." She pecked him a kiss on the cheek and shot me another tongue before prancing out of my room.  
As soon as J focused back on me, he frowned. "Why do I get the feeling theres something you aren't sharing about your little rendezvous with Cobblepot?"  
I scoffed, "It's a rendezvous now, huh?"  
"Don't be cute." He licked his lips as he advanced on me hastily.  
I didn't budge. "I'm not. I just don't understand what's so bone rattling about a party?"  
"Well," he chuckled and outstretched his arms. "I have to be leery of all of my enemies, naturally."  
"Enemies?" my face reflected confusion. "I thought you and Penguin were friends?"  
"Frienemies" His silver teeth shined. "Is that what the kids call it these days?" He pointed a finger at me. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."  
"Oh, I see. Penguin doesn't seem to feel that way."  
"Penguin feels whichever way will favor him. Remember that." He sized me up, inching near. "And I'd hate to see you fall on the wrong side of the tracks."  
It was simple but it cut me deep. He was warning me, I could tell. Whether it was for my benefit or his own, I wasn't entirely sure. Regardless of all of that I knew that what Penguin wanted was rather straightforward. Though he was a villain himself I couldn't fathom him knocking off J if he really needed his assistance. J was a powerful ally.  
Or maybe I was being too naive.  
"Yes, Mister J."  
He clapped palms down on either side of my shoulders, squeezing slightly. "Good."  
The clown let his hands slide off of me as he exited the room. I let out a relieved sighed. It was a good thing I didn't plan on making a habit of lying to Mister J. Regardless of whether it was small or not, that was close.  
Too close.  
Flopping backwards onto my bed, my eyes drew invisible patterns into the blank ceiling. Despite the calm and collected, but total lie of answer I gave Harley, I was actually excited for the event as well. And I couldn't help but revel in her reaction when she discovered other wise.  
A faint smile tugged at my thin lips as I let my eyelids close dreamily. Perhaps now I could finally get some sleep.  
Knock. Knock. Knock.  
Perhaps not.  
"Come in." I called without even opening my eyes.  
"Miss Pendragon, a package has arrived for you." Ben's voice had taken me a little off guard.  
I immediately sat up. "Just now?"  
The butler tapped his fingers against the package paper, stepping in slowly. "Well, Miss, it actually arrived with the invitation but…" He became shifty eyed. "…I figured since Mister Joker isn't aware it was I who let Mister Penguin in, thus keeping my job, then he needn't be aware that you were attending with said Penguin. Not just yet." He winked.  
Hmm, maybe I was wrong about Benjamin. I gave him my best smile and ushered him to hand me the package. "Thank you very much, Ben."  
The old man bowed before he left and as soon as he closed the door behind himself I flipped over and bounced the present in the mattress. I wasted no time in tearing off the sandy colored paper to reveal a shimmery, silver box. It had beautifully written script on the lid that if I hadn't been so eager, or cared, I would have stopped to read it. However, it was from Penguin, so I knew it was expensive.  
Inside a mess of turquoise and blue stuck out like a sore thumb from the elegant, neutral packaging but before I could get to that I picked up the small note handwritten on top.

To Miss Pendragon,

Please accept this gift for the party. I'll be by around 6:30 sharp.  
Once a chrysalis, forever a butterfly.

Oswald Cobblepot

I giggled. What an awkwardly sweet man…whom seemed to know a little too much. Tossing the card to the side, I tore into the box pulling out a long, sparkly dress. The aquamarine hues were vibrant against the coating of sparkles that danced in the light. I admired it's dazzling beauty.  
Finding the neck, I held the item by it's spaghetti straps up to myself in the mirror. It appeared very fitted but I think I could manage to squeeze into it. I smoothed a hand delicately down the front. It had a slit that ran mid-thigh. I would definitely have to wear heels with this little number.  
Now on my tip-toes, I glanced back toward the silver box. More glittery items seemed to fill it's content. I hung the dress on the bathroom door handle and made my way back to the package. I traced the shimmery wings of the butterfly mask inside.  
Clever. Clever. Clever.  
A crooked smile hooked the corner of my lips. Penguin appeared to be known for playing up his part, I suppose I should've expected him to suggest to me the same.  
I lifted the mask to my face as I bounced toward the mirror. I was now fully prepared for this evenings masquerade. I would sparkle like a jewel and if I were lucky, maybe Mister J wouldn't be mad enough to deny me a dance. He'd place a hand on the small of my back as I wound both arms around his pale neck. I'd let my head nestle at the crook of his shoulder and his lips would just brush the tip of my forehead.  
I sighed, swaying from side to side, remembering that Harley was still going to be there. Resting the mask on the bedside table, I climbed back into bed. As much as I'd have loved to day dream about things that would never be, it was still rather early and I hadn't caught a wink of shut eye yet. Purple bags wasn't something I intended on wearing in my masquerade fantasy.  
I pulled the fluffy comforter up to the tip of my nose before dozing easily into a deep slumber. So deep in fact, that as quickly as I had fallen asleep, I was being shook by some great force.  
"Miss." It hissed. "Miss!"  
My eyelids fluttered open to visage of wrinkles.  
"Miss! Are you not to accompany Mister Penguin at 6:30 sharp?"  
It had been Ben trying to rouse me. His thick, grey brows were knitted together as he eyed me and the clock. I followed his worried gaze.  
"Ah!" I screamed, leaping from the confines of my bed. The clock had read 5:59 PM!  
"I don't believe this! What rotten luck." I scolded the world as I gathered all the things I would need to get dressed, half turning to Ben. "Thank you, Benjamin. That'll be all."  
He promptly left after a short bow, leaving me to scour about my room. I threw on undergarments not caring if they matched and pulled on the dress in one fell swoop. It was as snug as I imagined it would be but nothing I couldn't breath in. The aquamarine piece generously accentuating the curves I did have.  
I ran to my closet to strap on some silver heels and then stared at the mess of my ashen hair. What was I to even do with this? My pupils surveyed the top of my dresser for a solution. I had a hair tie and some clips.  
That'll have to do.  
I pulled my hair up in to a messy bun, pulling out some strands to wisp about my face. I then added a sparkling silver clip to give it a little pizazz. J wasn't a fan of any of my updos but I had to remind myself that tonight my date would be with a bird and not a clown.  
As I was adding the finishing touches of the light make-up I applied, a knock sounded against the hard wood of the door. "Come in, Ben"  
The greying man peeked his head in, "Miss, Mister Cobblepot has just arrived." I eyed the clock. 6:30 sharp. "What shall I tell him?"  
I smacked my lips together. "Tell him I'll be right down."  
"As you wish."  
I coated my lashes with mascara, shrugged on the long, shimmery cape that also accompanied the dress, and propped the mask against the bone structure around my eyes. I felt almost like royalty in my luminescent duds. Something told me I was meant to stand out tonight.  
As my heels clicked in unison down the marbled staircase an unpleasant scowl greeted me. The deep pools of blue reflecting endless bouts of fury. "Tell me, little bug, I was under the impression that you were fine with not attending this…this…glorified costume party?"  
I paused at the last step. "I was…until I found a date."  
J's eyes grew dangerous. "Date?"  
I smiled, carefully stepping down to circle him halfway. "Well, not really a date, really. There's nothing between Penguin and I. He's just so kindly invited me."  
The clown tugged at the bottom of his suit jacket, sizing me up. "So kindly enough that he even bought you your very own outfit." He stalked me like a cat as his voice raised an octave. "Because I know I didn't buy you that get up. I'd say that's too kind"  
My fingers gripped the insides of my cape, trembling. "Honestly, what's it to you, Mister J? You chose your date for the evening. Forgive Penguin for thinking that a butterfly should be free to flutter it's wings instead of bottled up in a jar."  
Pale fingers roughly clutched my forearm. "Or pinned up on a wall."  
His breath was hot on the side of my neck as he seethed and as terrifying as he was, there was something elating about it all together. This emotion, could it be-?  
"I'd hate to disturb you Mister Joker, Miss Pendragon, but I do believe there is a gentleman waiting outside."  
J side-eyed him, ready to draw blood but I briskly brushed him off. "Thank you very much, Benjamin. We shouldn't keep Mister Cobblepot waiting any longer."  
A barrage of small chuckles erupted behind me as I was about to leave through the mansion entrance. I cocked my head back to see J covering a tattooed hand over his mouth. The lines around his eyes crinkled as he laughed. Then he released himself to shake a finger in my direction.  
"Oh, you're good. I see what you're trying to do, Olive. It's all clear to me now."  
Truthfully, I had no idea what he was talking about. My eyebrows raised with the thought. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean, J."  
"I see you, Olive." His tone turned harsh. "I see you. After everything I've done for you-!"  
I saw Harley approaching up his rear as he began to shout. Her features were contorted to confusion. "Puddin'?"  
I swiftly closed the door behind me. There was no way I was sticking around for the end of that argument. Despite wanting to know what it is exactly that he saw.  
I climbed into the back of Penguin's limousine with as much grace as possible after that whole ordeal. The smile on his face indicating he was already privy to it all. I tried to give a weak smile back.  
"He's quite mad." Penguin leaned forward with what seemed to be a detection of enthusiasm.  
I narrowed my eyes. "So you've noticed."  
The strange man giggled as he straightened himself out. "Well, we all know how Joker is when one messes with his things."  
"Things?" I clenched my jaw.  
Penguin's pupils flashed to mine. "Are you not?"  
"No"  
"No?"  
"Yes"  
"Are you sure?"  
My hard stare rolled to the passing world beyond the window. "It's complicated."  
"It always is."  
I looked back to him to see him resting his hands on the tip of his cane. He was still grinning from ear to ear. I suddenly became very irritated. "I needn't explain any of it because I'm positive you already know the whole story. So what does any of it got to do with you?"  
"Oh, nothing, nothing." He eased up. "It's just, when you've known Joker for as long as I have it's actually rather humorous to see someone as insignificant as you make a man like him squirm." He bent his arm at the elbow so he could rest his chin on his palm. "It's quite fascinating, really. I can't figure it out."  
"Well, I'm glad it's a source of entertainment for you." My voice dripped with sarcasm.  
He shook his head lightly, "No, no, I think you misunderstand the situation entirely." He cupped his hands, holding them out. "What it is you truly posses within the palm of your hands." I glared at him, dumbfounded, trying to decipher what he was saying. Instead, he blinked his eyelids and withdrew. "Never mind that, Miss Pendragon, why talk about such dreary things when we should be celebrating!"  
"I wanna know." I interjected, tilting my head. "What kind of criminal are you, anyway?"  
Now he was the one with the odd look. "Whatever do you mean?"  
"I mean," I hunched towards his thin frame. "what purpose is it you serve in this decadent lifestyle? You're low key enough to where you roam pretty freely and yet the Batman still keeps tabs. What is it you do?"  
A look of distain settled on his pointy face. "And how would delving into my personal operations with you, benefit me?"  
"It doesn't." I stated flatly. " I don't need you to delve into anything. I'm just trying to understand how one man walks free and one can't. Considering you boast about doing about the same amount of work essential, what's your schtick?"  
He held up a gloved pointer finger. "I don't do any of it myself."  
"Hm?"  
He was smiling again as he lowered his hand. "Unlike our favorite clown, I don't do the jobs myself. I may orchestra them, pay into them, plan them, what have you, but, I'm never physically there. I'm never truly connected."  
I started to giggle, "So you're kind of like a mob boss?"  
"Yes" He sounded very irate. "Why is that so funny?"  
I attempted to quell my fit. "I'm sorry, it's just hard to picture. You don't look like one."  
He quipped me. "I don't look like many things, Miss Pendragon, but I assure you the last thing you'd ever want to do is underestimate anyone."  
I calmed myself. "I don't underestimate you, Mister Cobblepot, I just find you strange."  
He still looked upset. "Thanks."  
I reached a delicate hand for his. "I do want to graciously thank you for the escort and the costume. It was beyond any kindness you needed to show."  
He tugged his hand away, staring off into the distance. "No need for that."  
I leaned back in my seat, grinning. He was a man who lived off of praise and ass kissing. He indulged in secrets to sell them for a higher price. A man who made a career out of being a weasel. A powerful weasel at that.  
We sat in silence for the next twenty minutes before we pulled up to an extravagantly large building. In bold, ice blue lettering it said "The Iceberg Lounge" atop the packed entrance. A long line of hopefuls dressed to the nines waited fervently to get in. My grey hues eyed Penguin.  
"I thought this was a villains only party?"  
He shrugged, "I have to keep my business running. Besides, the Iceberg has many levels, my dear."  
Our car door was tugged opened and the driver offered his hand to me. Stepping out, I couldn't help but feel my stomach waiver as the sea of people turned in our direction, curious to see the flightless bird and his plus one. Cobblepot was more than use to this kind of attention, I'm sure. He had an infamous celebrity status amongst the citizens of Gotham. I, however, only knew eyes from the stage. If they were scrutinizing me, I wouldn't know. The notes of my music drowned them out.  
Penguin looped his arm with mine as we walked past the agonizingly long line. Their intent stares of agog were probably more focused on the mask about my face. Which reminded me that they couldn't actually see who I was.  
And maybe that was the point.  
Every bouncer and staff member let us in without question, nodding their heads in greeting. Up until this point, I had never seen such a wide grin plastered to the pointy visage of my temporary companion. You could tell he took great pride in the image he portrayed to the world. He craved respect and he got it. Despite how he obtained it.  
As we trudged through back hallways, my mind wandered to a green haired man. He was pretty angry with the minor backstabbing I had done. Although that wasn't my intentions, I couldn't help but shiver with J's accusations which prompted me to shut my eyes momentarily. This feeling, this vibration, like fluttering of butterfly wings, was becoming more prominent each day.  
The ding of the elevator brought me back to the present. It's mechanical doors slid open as we boarded it. I was in awe at the intricate detail Penguin had put into something as simple as a lift. The cerulean blue on the inside almost made you feel chilly. Regardless of all the parts it took to make up such a contraption, he had it detailed to appear as if the entire thing were carved from ice blocks.  
Running the tips of my fingers along a gleaming panel, he chuckled. "Amazing, isn't it? Pure crystal I had imported." His matching irises beamed with delight at the high ceiling. "Couldn't very well use real ice, unless I employed Mister Freeze." He snorted at his own joke, raising the back of his hand to his nose. "This was the next best thing."  
"Extravagant." I smiled.  
The corners of his mouth slightly retreated. "You know, it's the little details in life that everyone seems to want to gloss over. Yes, this may just be an elevator and yes, I may have dipped a bit too much money into it but this elevator is the gateway from room to room. It's the first impression." His eyes now met mine. "Did you know that when I opened this place I never had a dress code. Actually, I still technically don't and yet, people still and have been coming dressed in their Sunday best. Do you understand the gravity of that?"  
"A first impression is a powerful thing."  
His quirky smile returned. "That's exactly right, my dear. Which is why the stairs are equally as beautiful."  
The gates of the lift gently slid apart to reveal a grand ballroom of sorts. It was very reminiscent of the one on the cruise ship. Only, instead of gold hues it was decorated in velvet black, silver, and crystalline. I truly felt like I was waltzing into a glacial palace.  
I looked over to my feathered companion as he placed a Scaramouche mask upon his face. "Ready?" He inquired.  
I gave him a graceful nod as we descended the marble staircase lined in the middle with velvet black carpeting. At the bottom of the steps there were already thickets of guests with shiny glasses of liquor between their fingers. Various masks disguised each criminal attendee so it was hard to tell who was whom. But I knew that when he did arrive, there'd be no missing that clown.  
Penguin escorted me to a private corner table next to the smaller stage. It was round with a white table cloth a top it. Silver accents adorned the silverware and napkins as well as the chairs. I noticed that ace villains liked to nestle themselves in corners of rooms. I supposed that had to do with the lack of worry one would have to feel knowing there was no-one else behind you but a wall. It also made it easier to surround yourself with bodyguards.  
I eyed the four goons standing around the table.  
For the first half of the evening I found myself sitting alone sipping on the wine in my glass. While Penguin busied himself with an opening speech and usual gracious mingling a host is obligated to, I spied on all the odd bodies, secretly on the lookout. Taking into consideration that this was a room chalk full of Gotham's notorious it was still impressive that this many miscreants dwelled in the city alone, roaming free.  
I had lived in this city for a few years but mostly kept to myself. Angelo made it a point to keep me out of the dirty bits of the business. I was only suppose to be the glamorous topper on the tree. The beacon that lured the undesirable into his club. They could look, but couldn't touch.  
I pressed the edge of the glass to my lips, sighing. I was starting to feel quite bored. I imagine a masquerade being much more exciting. Or maybe that was because my date was nowhere to be found.  
Then, like a genie summoned to answer my wishes, Cobblepot stood before me at the table. "How about a dance?" He offered a gloved hand.  
The corners of my lips upturned. I set the wine down as I followed him onto the dance floor. The orchestra he had hired played nothing but classical pieces. It fit the atmosphere brilliantly while we swayed from side to side. He actually wasn't a terrible dancer, even with his injured leg.  
As we floated across the granite floor, Penguin spoke in my ear. "Are you enjoying yourself, Papillon?"  
There was a hint of bourbon in his breath. "Quite much, so." His eyes shifted around the room behind me. "I can't thank you enough for this evening out of the house."  
He pulled back, "Oh no, it's you I should be thanking. Your talents of persuasion and hold on Joker are what continues to make my business ventures successful."  
My cheeks ran hot. "Well, I wouldn't say that, exactly."  
"And why not?" The gelled pieces of salt and peppered hair touched my forehead.  
My smile was weak. "He has Harley. Theres no room for a nobody like me. He's made that clear numerous times." I giggled faintly. "I just don't know when to give up."  
"Has he?" There was something strange lurking within the depths of his irises. "Shall we find out?"  
And, like the over confident man he liked to portray, he pressed his thin lips to mine. I made a surprised sound at the back of my throat as a shockwave struck me. We immediately halted our dance as my hands cringed against his upper arms. Never once did I get the vibe he ever felt any sort of attraction towards me. Just the same, I didn't have any towards him.  
A hand reached out to grip his shoulder and spun him around.  
And then, I understood.  
"You little vulture, I'm going to clip your wings ever so slowly." Furious blue eyes glared menacingly at the victim between his clasped digits.  
The room had fallen silent as J practically strangled Penguin. The feather brained fellow struggled to find the words to ease the fury in his attacker. You could tell he had bit off more than he could chew. I suspected the alcohol had made him too bold.  
"Now, now, J" Cobblepot pried at the fingers attached to his throat. "It didn't mean anything. It was a joke. Just a joke. I know how you love jokes!"  
Guns were drawn at the back of J's head as Penguins goons closed in. My hands shook against my chest. If Mister J didn't lighten up, his brains might be spattered across the grey granite floor. He was powerful, there was no doubt about that, but no-one holds power in a place they don't own.  
Penguin tried to breath. "J, this wouldn't be a wise decision to make." The cocking of guns echoed off the walls.  
J's gritted silver teeth gradually transformed into a manic grin as he began to laugh. "Oh, you're right old buddy." He released the bird so suddenly that Penguin hit the floor. "I admit, you almost had me there." He smoothed back his disheveled locks. "But jokes on you, I'd never hurt a friend of mine!" He bowed forward toward the fallen man. "Would I?"  
Cobblepot nervously shook his pointy head as he chuckled exasperatedly. "No, never."  
"Hmm." The clown straightened himself out before glaring at me. The sickly sweet smile still on his lips. "And you, a word?"  
I was frozen in place. It was incredible how this man could go from zero to a hundred within seconds. Even though I've witnessed it, it still held a fearful affect on me. I had to remind myself that we were at an event full of people and I was Penguin's plus one. For now, I should be safe.  
The thought eased me enough to where I was able to follow my green haired lover out onto a private balcony area. There, he stood ever so still gazing out at the city lights. The way the glow highlighted certain features of his worn face made my heart melt all over again. The deep crimson of his lips, the shadowing of all the tiny scars, the way his eyes sunk into the pale skull of his. There was something forbidding about him entirely that drew me in.  
I pressed fingertips to my lips. I really was ill in the head.  
"Well, well, well." He began, gripping the railing. "You look at me like that but dance hand in claw with that bird."  
I inhaled, "Remember J, I'm his plus one tonight. Let's not do anything stupid."  
His face twisted as he finally turned to me. "Are you threatening me?"  
I shook my head, daring to take a step. "No, I just don't want to see you killed for something so stupid."  
He chortled, "Oh, don't worry about me, baby. I'd never want to risk my life over someone like you."  
His words stung, just as he wanted. I held the tears back as best I could. "Well then, we're done here."  
I started to walk away but he snatched my bicep in anger. "Who do you think you are, calling the shots?!" He growled into my ear.  
This is what I didn't understand. "What more is there to say?!"  
He held fast to both of my shoulders as we stumbled backwards. "Plenty" My back hit a wall. "All that I do, I do to protect what's mine! I clothe you, I feed you, I supply you with anything you could possibly imagine and all I ask in return is that you remain obedient." Panic filled me under his ever growing force. "To listen, to behave. I'm known to be an awful man but I've never done anything unreasonable to you, have I? Hm?"  
The tears were hot and heavy cascading down the apples of my cheeks. My insides were in turmoil as he continued. "At least, I haven't done anything you didn't enjoy."  
The silver of his caps gleamed through his clenched teeth. He seemed just as distraught as I was about the whole thing only now I was seeing what he saw. It was true, all of it. Never once had he done something that I didn't secretly want or relish in. That I didn't, one way or another, bring upon myself. I was selfish in the worst way. I was completely inconsiderate. How many times would I ride this carousel of ignorance before I realized it only went in circles? Before I could see what everyone else was seeing?  
It wasn't in the way that I wanted it but it was blatantly there. I couldn't be a child about it. I couldn't ask that of him. I couldn't make him do anything he didn't enjoy.  
The revelation passing through me was thunderous. All of the things that I wanted to know, all of the things I had questions to, were now answered. Where I stuck myself at the lowest rung he placed me higher, but he didn't need to say it.  
He never did, because it was always enough.  
My lips trembled. "I'm s-sorry."  
His breath was uneven but he remained quiet. Instead, as is his nature, he physically accepted my apology with a heated kiss. The passion behind it was overwhelming as I reached for his suit jacket to keep me from buckling. I was enveloped by his musky cologne and whiskey tainted tongue. I could taste all the love and hatred and everything in between that welled inside of him and spilled over into me.  
I decided I would carry it all.  
And as we fervently bit at one another lips, I couldn't help but catch a glimpse of a pig-tailed shadow looming ominously through the glass doors.


	19. She's Not Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is another little bridge chapter that is super important before we get to the last two final chapters. YES, two FINAL. At least, that's how I have it planned.

" _When you think you're over me_

 _And your bad baby is dead and gone_  
_Remember I'm the ghost in your machine_  
_I'm your real life suicide blonde_."

\- Lana Del Rey " _She's Not Me_ "

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I could last sitting in the corner

of this room, expecting her to strike. I was ten hundred percent certain it was her casting that shadow previously, causing me to jolt back from J. He never asked me why, just straightened up and ran a hand through his green hair, his blue hues becoming shifty.

Then after that, we walked inside and acted as if nothing had ever happened. It almost felt like it hadn't. My fingers nervously traced over the millions of sparkles coating my dress. I thought surely the psycho blonde would be out to make a scene, and yet, nothing. I think this might have been worse.

Penguin caught our tailwind to pull Mister J aside for a chat. I was well aware what that conversation entailed. He apologized briefly to me before whisking away possibly my only sure defense against Harley. That's not to say I was entirely confident he'd even step in. Even though he was one half of this mess.

And now…here I am.

Where I've been for the past half hour.

Unscathed.

I drummed my fingertips lightly. Maybe she hadn't seen us? Perhaps she was facing away from the window instead? Although, there is no way she missed the commotion prior. She must have witnessed us slip off to the balcony at the very least.

I rested my chin in my other hand feeling anxious. It was almost like I was a sitting duck at this point. I had gotten the answers I wanted…kind of, and I'd surely pay for it. Which was something I mulled over consistently since the day I realized how I felt. This wasn't going to be smooth sailing because let's face it, neither of us were too keen on sharing. Only, it wasn't really up to us _either_.

Someone like me who generally had tunnel vision, could only see J. Someone like J was potentially more open minded and able to love more than one person. He was also a man whom took what he wanted. If he decide he wanted two lovers instead of one, so be it. His world was filled with variety. But was Harley's? She seemed more like a one man loon.

Which led us up to this very moment. How would we ever settle this?

Not being able to bare the uncertain air, I got up and made my way out of the luxurious building. Considering everyone was quite occupied, it was simple enough for me to sneak out. I flagged down the first taxi I could and had them drop me off a ways from the actual home I now resided in. Feeling tumultuous didn't give me leeway to be careless.

I slipped my heels off as I trudged the mile to the estate. Somehow, the walk was liberating, the gravel beneath my feet cooling the high temperature of my body. It helped me clear my head as I thought of all of the things I _could_ and wouldn't say. After all, I _am_ still the intruder but if he won't throw me away, why leave?

I sighed, pulling open the front door. It seemed a lot heavier than I remembered. As I shut it behind me, I instantly took notice of how eerily quiet the mansion was. Most of the lighting was low lit. Then my mind traced back to how easy it was for me to just open the front door.

Was it always unlocked like that?

A faint sound of things being knocked over echoed from upstairs. I pulled one of my knives from the garter I always wore around my thigh when I had nowhere else to keep them. Did somebody _really_ just break into J's home, of all homes? They'd be sorely sorry.

I took my time climbing the steps. The closer I got, the louder the noises became and the louder the noises became, the more I realized it was coming from my bedroom. I clenched my teeth running through my mind a list of things that were important to me in that room. It truly wasn't a long list, thankfully. I never had any sacred valuables other than a few pictures of me and my father. I guess I never had a permanent home to collect such things.

When I entered my bedroom the first thing I saw was the rummaged through mess of my belongings scattered around the room. The second, a hard piece of wood smacking into my temple, sending me to the floor.

"Hmph, I thought you'd show up." A familiar voice giggled at me.

I placed a palm to my forehead as I tried to focus my vision. Harley had a wicked smile plastered to her face as she leaned her bat against my vanity. She went back to what she must have been doing before I came home and that was playing with the make-up strewn about. She was hunched over toward the mirror, running a deep red over her pouting lips.

"I kinda like this color." She smacked her lips together and bored down at me. "It reminds me of blood."

I blinked a few times trying to make sense of the situation. What the hell was she doing in here? I watched her turn back to the vanity mirror, just staring.

"You know, originally I was gonna push that little insect body of your off the balcony when I saw you with my Puddin', _again_." Her finger nails scraped against the grain of the wood as she clenched them. "I was going to watch your head smash into a bajillion pieces as I toasted to ridding my life of pests. Sneaky little flies who stir up bullshit so they'd have a place to comfortable eat. Feeding off of it."

Her eyes glared back to me, the pain and hate clearly evident. "But ya know," The blonde's tone softened, gazing at her reflection again. "Red helped me realize somethin'."

_Red?_

"I've been here before. My Puddin's hurt me more times than I can count. I do loads of stuff for 'im and he'll treat me nice but sometimes, he'll still treat me bad." Her voice became shaken with the deep sadness of her words. It was as if with each revelation, she was beginning to understand the unfortunate truth of her own relationship with J. It was troublesome to witness for some reason.

"I could kill ya, sure, but what's the point?" Real tears now started to slide down her pale cheeks. "He'll continue to hurt me. If it's not you, it's someone else or _something_ else. That bat." Harley's fist came down hard against the wood. In an instant, just like Joker, her whole demeanor changed.

She was filled with rage as she continued to speak, facing me. "Always Batman, _always_. Ya know I almost killed that bat brain years ago." She hit a fist to her open palm. "Had 'em right where I wanted 'im. I even perfected J's unfinished plan." Her face twisted into a soft smile as she chuckled. She began to move in my direction. "Ya see, Mistah J couldn't get the fishes to smile but _I_ did. I just turned Batsy upside down. And ya know what I got for it?!"

I stayed silent thinking it better to let her vent.

"He threw me out a window!" Her voice was raised as her fists trembled at her sides.

I had to be honest, I was a little taken aback by her story. Not only because of the actions of J but also the fact that she was telling it to _me_ , of all people. Why? This was when I noticed she wasn't in her formal dress anymore. She had changed into a pair of two toned, leatherette pants, a matching corset, and boots.

She knelt down in front of me. "I love my Puddin', don't get me wrong, but I've gotta teach Mistah J a lesson."

"Are you going somewhere, Harley?" I finally managed to speak.

Her smile was one of complete sorrow. "Yeah" She laughed listlessly. "Just for a little while. Red's always got my back."

"Red?" I questioned this out loud.

And, as if planned, a woman clad in green attire entered the room. Her hair was a gorgeous fiery red that hung delicately down her back. She was probably one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen in my entire life and I wasn't sure if it was the weird ethereal glow of her skin or the strong, yet graceful bone structure of her face. Her mere presence seemed forbidden.

I didn't have to stop and wonder why J never took interest in a gem like her. She radiated independence. Something Harley and I admittedly lacked. Something J wasn't interested in, maybe even despised.

"Harley, finish getting your things together and let's go. I can only imagine Joker will be home soon." The red haired female's voice was like velvet, but just by the way she spoke his name you could tell her complete detest. Her eyes narrowed to me still on the floor.

Harley sighed, "Okay, Red." She stood up and stretched her arms in the air. "The sooner we get away for here the better. This place is starting to stink, I much prefer the scent of flowers."

A small smile curved the other woman's lips. "I know, peanut." She let her hand loosely grip the blondes as Harley walked away. Their fingers slowly coming undone.

When Harley was out of sight, Red focused her attention back to me on the floor. She offered me her hand that I gladly accepted to hoist myself to my feet. I wanted to thank her but before I could she slapped me in the face. I stumbled in bit in shock.

"I'm only going to tell you this once because I have a feeling the next time we meet I won't just slap you and Harls won't be so forgiving. You can thank me for that. She'll more than likely want you dead."

I was confused. "So why stop her?"

The woman lifted her chin slightly. "Because this is what she _really_ needs. Joker's slipped for the last time. She's distraught and distressed and I know you have something to do with that. She's my best friend that I care for more than anyone could know. However," she slinked towards me. "I also know how manipulative and conniving Joker is. If theres something you and her have in common, it's that you're both idiots. Everything he says is venom making you sicker."

She paused just inches away from me. "He preys on weak minded people because he's got so strong of an act. He's believable and convincing, I'll give him that, but it's all a facade. He's a coward, Olive and just as he's done to Harley many a times, he'll throw you under the bus one day too. He's only passionate about one thing."

"Batman" I answer her quietly.

She nodded, then placed a hand gently on my left shoulder. "I'm giving you this one opportunity now to pack up what you will and leave this place. Leave him. I can get you out of Gotham but that's it. Harley is my number one priority."

"That's understandable." My tone was so unexpectedly low that I could barely hear myself. I could comprehend what this strange woman was telling me but even if I left, where would I go? I don't have any family and anyone I could've turned to was dead or, well, we weren't on the best terms.

Still, there was something nagging at my insides. Something unfinished. I was incredible diverse from the clown queen regardless of our minuscule similarities. Maybe our chemistry would be different?

I squeezed my eyes shut. I wondered how many times Harley must have had those same exact thoughts. This was a pivotal moment for me. I could back down now and blow this city, unsure of where I'd go what I'd do. Or, I could stay here and mend what shattered heart J would carry after this. Replace what he had lost even if it wasn't exactly the same. But that would be a good thing, right?

Make something different. Better.

My breath was uneven as I inhaled, "I sincerely appreciate your offer, Red-"

"Ivy. My name is Ivy."

I corrected myself, twiddling my thumbs. " _Ivy_ , but I just can't leave yet. Theres too much I don't know and things I need to know for myself."

"Stupid." She spat. "You're just as stupid. All you'll come to know is pain and suffering, and none worth any of it either. You won't change him. No one will."

I smiled, "But I don't want to change him. I love him just the way he is."

She shook her head in disappointment. "Then you might just be crazier than her. That's no small feat."

"I was hoping that wasn't the case." I responded as I gazed, miles away, at the carpet. "But I guess you can't help the cards you've been dealt in life. This was my hand and I've got to do what it takes to finish the game I've started. I don't have any strong friends like you. Harley is truly lucky. It takes some courage to completely walk away from the one you love most. I admire her for that."

Ivy didn't say much before she turned to leave, calling over her shoulder. "Well, maybe one day you'll find your own inner strength before it's too late. Good luck." And with that, the fiery woman vanished into the shadows of the mansion.

For some reason, I suddenly felt completely empty. The temperature in the house seemingly plummeting making me shiver. I brought my finger tips to my face noticing that water was leaking from my tear ducts. Then, like one crashing wave, my body racked with sobs. It was so vehement that my knees buckled and I was back on the floor.

Why was I flooded with this intense emotion of loneliness? Had this not been what I wanted the entire time? No, it absolutely had, but I was now very frightened of the future. All I wanted to do was love J but the way Harley was leaving, would it unravel everything? Unravel him?

No, this was it. This is what I wanted and there was no time to chicken out. I could take it. Whatever he could throw.

"I can take it." I tried to convince myself between my slowly dying sobs.

" _Can you?"_ An unexpected growl interrupted. My head snapped up to see Mister J leaning into the door frame with a crumpled piece of paper in his right palm. " _What. Is. This."_

He threw the piece of paper in my direction as I sat dumbfounded on the floor. His eyes were egging me to read it. I didn't disobey. Pulling apart the worn paper I could make out that it was a letter. Skimming over it, I immediately realized it was from Harley.

She wrote him a letter. _She wrote him a good-bye letter. He knows._

My hands were shaking as I my grey eyes met his infuriated ones. He was no longer wearing his suit jacket and instead, was rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt as he approached me. His saunter was threatening. His mouth wound tight into a perilous gnash of teeth.

And for the first time ever, I wished I had gone to the cops that night instead of meeting with him in room 208.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed this little chapter, it was a bit heavy to write but necessary, I feel. Just setting up the dominos to knock them all down. Also, I hope you guys liked Ivy's little cameo. She's an important part of Harley's life so of course she had to be there!
> 
> And remember to fav, follow, and review!


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